Posts in Books (20 found)
Brain Baking 1 weeks ago

Homo Irrealis

André Aciman’s Homo Irrealis leaves a strange feeling lingering long after I put down the book. The irrealis aspect of his essays comes across as an aggressive and rather depressing form of nostalgia, where the temporal context is heavily skewed towards the past. André describes it as follows: imagine a heartfelt moment with your lover, perhaps on a special occasion. Instead of savouring the moment, you imagine yourself well into the future, looking back at this moment with nostalgic feelings. That alone took a while for me to understand: you’re creating future moments of nostalgia with every significant moment, yes, but why would you be deliberately thinking about a future where you’re looking back at his moment instead of just being in the now? Exaggerating this further, a constant yearning for the past to the point that you attempt to retread your (or someone’s) exact steps will always result in disappointment. Aciman often tried to visit the New York he experienced when watching a seventies movie. But that version of the city was an imaginary one where imperfect parts of the place have been expertly brushed up to deliver a great picture. When Aciman tries to locate an apartment where a scene from a movie took place, he realises that the building has been torn down a long time ago—heck, even the entire neighbourhood is gone and replaced by a more modern version of tall concrete. It gets worse: some buildings never even existed in that city. For the purposes of a movie, streets and facades can be rebuild and completely altered—in Hollywood, not in New York city. Miles away from the city you live in and you think evokes pure nostalgia because of those magical moments in the theatre. That yearning is dangerous, and yet, thousands of tourists travel all over the world to retread the steps of their favourite author/actor/whatever: visiting their grave, their birthplace, the studio they worked in, the school they spent time in. Homo Irrealis is full of these brain twisters where Aciman identifies with an actor in a movie that in itself is already filled with irrealis moods , where the things that are being discussed have not happened and might never happen—yet they’re discussing it as if it already happened and looking back on it. My brain hurts. To my big surprise, I often catch myself in an irrealis mood. If I’m unsure to take up that job offer, I imagine myself doing it and try to reflect “back” to evoke a feeling: will I like this? Do I see myself doing this for a long(er) time? Suppose I take this, will this make thing a and b less painful? If I say yes to this offer to give a talk, how would I look back to having given the talk? I gave a sourdough bread baking workshop last weekend and always regret saying yes at first because an event like this in the weekend causes logistical problems for parents with young kids. Yet I’ve been doing this for more than ten years and I just know the participants will be enthusiastic and I just know I’ll bike home with a big smile on my face. Thinking about that makes the initial reluctance disappear. Technically speaking, that’s an irrealis mood, since I’m reflecting on the workshop being done before it took place and how I feel having given it. But since I’ve gone through these many times before, I guess it’s less problematic? What I take away from André Aciman is that indeed, irrealis moods can be problematic as we can get stuck in the future of the past (huh?) without just enjoying the ride. I guess the main perpetrator here is again restorative nostalgia. I stumbled upon Aciman’s book by sheer luck: it was set on display in a second hand book store and somehow attracted my attention. Hoping to extract some philosophical guideline on how to contain and constrain nostalgic feelings, I walk away confused. Not here nor there, what should you make of this? That the human mind is an extraordinary thing that can look into a future that hasn’t happened yet and there reflect back on this moment now as if it happened a long time ago. But to what purpose? All of us seek a life that exists elsewhere in time, or elsewhere on-screen, and that, not being able to find it, we have all learned to make do with what life throws our way. I don’t know about you, but I don’t seek a life that exists elsewhere in time. Making do with what life throws my way sounds great: making amends with making do might be my most important mission ever. So perhaps I misunderstand the entire concept. Yet an irrealis mood might help putting a currently challenging time in perspective. My kids might be giving me trouble, but I can see myself in the future looking back at this moment and thinking ah, weren’t those the days? . That might possibly even involve a bit of yearning because in that future trouble will still find us—that’s simply what life throws our way. It’ll be a different kind of trouble. But it will be trouble. Looking back at the things I have experienced, done, or not done, does not immediately invoke yearning. I’m glad many of those aspects are gone: I was happy to finally live by myself; learn how to stand on my own two feet. I was happy to let go of commuting to Brussels every day and slowly killing myself, even though working with that team was such a privilege. All things considered, I am happy to have kids now. Every part of life comes with its own upsides and downsides. Suppose that wasn’t the case, then living turns into a boring drag. Nothing to look back at in order to pat yourself on the back and say hey, I survived this. Is that part of being a Homo Irrealis ? Perhaps not. Less irrealis , more realis . Related topics: / nostalgia / By Wouter Groeneveld on 6 October 2026.  Reply via email .

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Woman on the Edge of Time

Trapped in a mental institution in the twentieth century, Connie Ramos learns to visit the future. She’s not crazy, or she doesn’t think she is: she’s institutionalized after attacking her niece’s pimp, when her niece comes to her beaten and bloodied. That’s enough to get her labeled out of control and violent, subject to experimental brain surgery intended to make her more compliant. In her own time, she sees poverty and abuse and the violence of patriarchal control over women and children. In the future, she gets a glimpse of how people can live as equals, not only with each other but with the world. But that future, like all futures, is tenuous: her friends in the future are at war, and the front is moving closer. Connie must engineer an escape, but all the exits are watched—all but one, the one in her mind. View this post on the web , reply via email , or become a supporter .

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What person thinks person knows

In Marge Piercy’s Woman on the Edge of Time , Consuelo “Connie” Ramos is living in a mental institution in the twentieth century when she’s visited by a person from the future. That person, Luciente, teaches her how she can leave her body where it is but travel in mind and spirit to the year 2137. She is at first unimpressed by what she sees: people living in small huts, tending vegetable gardens. It reminds her of the poor village she grew up in in Mexico. But Luciente shows her how they live comfortably and in harmony with their environment, how they use technology but without letting it use them, how they learn and teach each other. Connie wanders the town with Luciente and one of her partners, Jackrabbit. Noticing a group of children working in the gardens, she asks why they aren’t in school. “That is school,” Luciente replies, drawing closer so that Connie can watch and listen for awhile. An old man is showing the children the shape of the leaves on the pea flower, explaining how to identify legumes. Connie is still a bit mystified: As they strolled on, she said, “But they can’t possibly learn as much that way as they would in a classroom with a book!” “They can read. We all read by four or so,” Jackrabbit said. “But who wants to grow up with a head full of facts in boxes? We never leave school and go to work. We’re always working, always studying. We think, what person thinks person knows has to be tried out all the time. Placed against what people need. We care a lot how things are done.” Piercy, Woman on the Edge of Time , page 123 There’s a complete world in this short response, and it’s worth lingering over, noticing all its parts the way we might notice the leaves of a pea flower. First, work and study are not distinct categories. To study is to complete some work; to work is to extend your study. The children learn about legumes while weeding, so that the work and the study are one. This is an intentional connection between learning and doing that sees in work not only its output but the understanding and knowledge that are necessary to the work. As more than necessary; as the privilege and joy of it. Yet what we learn, what we know, has to be tried out, acted on, explored in the world. It’s not enough to know that legumes have alternate leaves if you can’t see it for yourself. Plants are not static: they wither in heat and succumb to bugs, they grow fast in the sun, they exchange genes with their neighbors. The old man tells the children that once they are done weeding they can go look at a tree that evolved a bit like a legume; the plants are learning and changing from each other, and we people must learn and change with them. Real knowledge is in and of the world, not apart from it. And that knowledge must be placed against need, against what is needful. Knowledge is not distinct from need, but contingent with it. In another passage, Connie observes a council meeting in which people discuss whether to expand their fields by razing part of the forest; some argue in favor, noting that they are still importing too much food and need to be more self-sufficient. Others argue that the forest is still recovering from past clearing, and the trees are needed to protect the water table. It’s ultimately decided that instead of clearing the land, they should talk to a graingrower from a nearby town about how they might increase their yield without expanding the fields. Need is not always easy or straightforward to determine, and people won’t always agree on what is needful. But we cannot attend to our needs if we never even bother to collectively consider them. Lastly, how things are done is at least as important (perhaps more important) that what is done. You can grow a bunch of peas while also diminishing the soil, teaching no one, mistreating the farm workers, and sending all the profits off to people who never set foot in the dirt. An attention to needfulness and knowledge necessarily invites an attention to the work itself, not only the output of the work. Our language about work has become intensely output focused in recent years, and for reasons: to talk of the impact of the work without talking of the process is very convenient for capitalism, which is always trying to externalize any effect not profitable. We measure revenue going up; never mind the people injured in the process, or the pollution released to the air, or the neighborhoods no longer inhabitable after fracking has spoiled the ground water. An attention to output necessarily means an attention to some outputs, not others; but who gets to choose which outputs matter, and which don’t? Back in the twentieth century, Connie is subject to medical experiments designed to make her palatable to the patriarchal society in which she lives. Her doctors care only for the outputs they’ve deemed needful, and neither Connie nor her fellow patients are given an opportunity to argue. Her glimpses into the future teach her not to expect that things will work out, but to know that only by acting in the present is any future world possible. What person thinks person knows has to be tried out all the time. Not later, but now. View this post on the web , reply via email , or become a supporter .

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Summary of reading: July - September 2026

"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë - good writing, but the protagonists are quite something. There's barely a likable character in the whole story - they are all either crazy, evil, stupid or a combination of these. It's also remarkable to consider how small the world of some people in those times was (pre-Victorian England); whole lives spent within a tiny area, interacting with a handful of other people. And that's for members of the nobility, not some bumpkin on a remote farm. "The Pickled City: The Story of New York pickles" by Paul Van Ravenstein and Monique Mulder - yes, a book about pickles, with lots of cool photos! That's what you get while randomly browsing in the local public library while your kids are picking out their books. All you wanted to know about the history of pickles, with particular emphasis on NYC in the early 20th century and the connection to Jewish immigration to that city. "Rebel Island: the incredible history of Taiwan" by Jonathan Clements - a detailed history of Taiwan, focusing mostly on the early years (pre-modern times). The writing is a bit academic and dry, but it's very comprehensive. I wish the book spent more time on the modern era, though. "The Old Ways: A Journey on Foot" by Robert Macfarlane - an ode to taking long walks (from hours to multi-day hikes). The writing is very beautiful, but much of it feels pointless; the author describes friends and obscure historical poets in a lot of detail which has little to do with the main thesis of the book. I'd say the first 1/4 of the good is very good, and the rest is unnecessary. "After Rain" by William Trevor - I'm on a quest to find additional authors that write evocative short stories that stay with you, and Trevor was recommended as someone to try since my current favorites are Steinbeck and Lahiri. "After Rain" is a collection of 12 stories, mostly about love and relationships - between partners but also parents and children; the settings are usually in 1980s Ireland or England. Very good stories overall, I'm glad I tried this author and should try something else by him. "Spoonhandle" by Ruth Moore - a novel about the lives of Maine natives living through changing times, seeing their picturesque coastal area become a magnet for "summer people" - rich vacationers from the big cities. There's no single protagonist in the book and the writing is very warm and human. I enjoyed it. "The Almighty Dollar: 500 Years of the World's Most Powerful Money" by Brendan Greeley - a history-oriented exploration of the importance of the dollar in world economy, from its beginnings as the Joachimsthaler in 16th century Bohemia and until modern times. This book has some interesting ideas but I found it to be quite academical and not easy to digest. "Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst" by Robert M. Sapolsky - the scope of this (very long) book is huge: explaining how human behavior works starting from basic biological principles. Our understanding of the actual biological underpinnings of behavior is so nascent, however, that the vast majority of the book focuses on the usual things - the psychological studies (including all the well known ones like prisoner's dilemma, the Stanford prison experiment, etc) and comparison with other animals. Having read several other books on this topic in the past, I haven't found much new in this one. "Humorous short stories" by Anton Chekhov (read in Russian) - a collection of short stories with a humorous angle. The stories are typically very short, just 2-3 pages each, but the character building is superb. I should try reading something longer by Chekhov. "Plainsong" by Kent Haruf - describes a year in the life of several loosely connected people in a remote farm town in eastern Colorado. A wholesome story, without a specific beginning or end - just the lives of ordinary folks. "Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity" by Katherine Boo - investigative journalism of the lives of several connected families in Annawadi - one of Mumbai's most miserable slums - roughly from 2007 to 2010. The only thing more shocking than the squalor in which these people live is the degree of corruption, fraud and exploitation surrounding them. A very poignant read. "The Dispossessed" by Ursula K. Le Guin - science fiction only in the sense of 1984; it's always amusing to examine how unambitious the futuristic vision of some authors is. The book was written in the early 1970s, and it presents life thousands of years in the future as one that's pretty much identical to what it was in the early 1970s, except for close-to-speed-of-light travel. But science is not the point of this book anyway; it's more of a political or philosophical fiction, examining an anarchist-communist society and comparing it to a capitalist, "propertarian" one. Overall, this book gave me very strong vibes of the famous Soviet kids story "Dunno on the moon" (Незнайка на Луне), which I recall reading as a kid. "The Lion Women of Tehran" by Marjan Kamali - a multi-generational novel focusing on the life of young women in Iran from the early 1950s to the early 1980s, in the context of the various authoritarian governments of those eras (from Mohammad Reza Pahlavi's rule to after the Islamic revolution of 1979). Nice book showing that a good story can be told without too many unnecessary twists and classical attention-grabbing dramas. "The Old Way: A story of the first people" by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas "Interpreter of Maladies" by Jhumpa Lahiri "Norwegian Wood" by Haruki Murakami "Cannery Row" by John Steinbeck

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ava's blog 2 weeks ago

rose ▪ bud ▪ thorn - september 2026

My coworker brought back soap for the entire team from her trip to Turkey. The Magic Secret Lair stuff :) Soba with a sweet-sour mango sauce, chickpea tofu, vegetables and shredded toasted nori. My nails this month. My Poron! Or rather, Cinnamoroll in a Poron outfit, but I take what I can get. I "modded" her because she comes with a different keyring, but one of my other Sanrio keyplushies has this pink heartshaped one which suits her so much better, so I switched it out. Our latest sourdough bread: Published 30 Sep, 2026 Started feeling a lot better; more hopeful, more together, more focused and motivated. I met up with Xaya , her girlfriend , and Kami in real life. :) went to a café, then went back to my place to play some games. I added new pictures to my blog - on my /now page and my author page . I bought new matcha and a Poron plushie. I love her so much, she is my favorite from Sanrio, but never really gets any merch or it is ugly (doesn't get her fluffy ears right). This one I really love. My Stardew Valley Secret Lair order arrived and my wishes came true - Krobus really was the secret card included!! I restarted doing summaries for GDPRhub again after taking a 2-month break. The URL penis.ceo now forwards to this blog for a year. I won't renew it, but 9 dollars is ok and it makes me laugh. Did a deep clean and declutter of the main bathroom. Been having a good time at the gym, making progress. I go 5x a week now unless I need an additional rest day. In FFXIV, I have now made it to the Stormblood expansion. Had a good date with my wife at the place where we got engaged, and we found a new favorite restaurant. Read Bad Blood by John Carreyrou, then Kiss of the Spider Woman by Manuel Puig. Getting back into the blogging groove. I've started studying for the new semester. I postponed Property Law from last semester to this one, plus I have also enrolled in Employment Contract Law and Commercial Criminal Law. Working on adding some fun easter eggs and mysteries to my blog. I've started Digitaler Kolonialismus by Ingo Dachwitz (I like his work at netzpolitik.org). I wanted to add an AI law class to my data protection consultant certificate because they're now offering that upgrade, but it cost a surprising amount of money that I don't think the material and resulting extra diploma is worth. It sucks though, because other than that, I really wanna do it. I wanted to apply to a job, but upon further consideration and really reading the work description deeply, I realized it wouldn't be fun for me. It's in the right space/topic, but the actual day-to-day work is not something I enjoy. Made me sad, because I was looking forward to a possible exit from my current position. It feels like unless you already have Master's degree and several years of experience, all you are allowed to be is a clown who makes PowerPoint slides all day or adds events to an Outlook calendar. I ended up doing zero exams for the summer semester. I had to drop it all. Unfortunately. I feel unsure about my future and where to take it from here. I guess I'll just focus on finishing my part-time degree first, but it would be nice to have a bit more of a plan for afterwards, or for the rest of it so I don't have to stay in a job I hate for the next 3 years still. Things have shifted so my original plans don't really seem to work out anymore. My gynecologist just shut down operations a week ago and will go out of business today with no notice or warning. Found out yesterday. I was really happy with them and I’m completely blindsided. Had to figure out who will refill my prescription and continue treatment.

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Unsung 2 weeks ago

Book review: What Can A Body Do?

A new confession: I struggle with a lot of accessibility writing. I am not necessarily saying this to blame people writing in this space, whose work I respect even if it’s not resonating with me. I think it’s more of a recognition of how difficult it is to talk about accessibility and disability. Advocacy is never easy. It’s hard not to be impatient with the pace of progress, hard to contain your incredulity that others don’t get that what is so obvious to you, hard not to constantly expect more from people, hard to imagine others – and the society as a whole – not caring. On top of that, accessibility is a more difficult subject than many I cover regularly on this blog. There are hard-to-explain technical issues wrapped in deep legal considerations, and some aspects of disability are taboo or taboo-adjacent. To me, all this often makes even best-intentioned accessibility writing less approachable. I am also, personally, to blame. I sometimes struggle with design writing, too. Some of the taboos and hangups live inside me. I might be obstinate when corrected. I have also personally seen a few times the opposite of the curb-cut effect : not fully thought through accessibility accomodations making software worse for some groups of people. All of this is making me a tricky customer. I’ve been wanting to find accessibility writing that would work for me, with just the right amount of push and pull: detailed but not overwhelming, inspiring but not cheesy, gentle but not basic, pleasant without being cheap. This book by Sara Hendren is as close as I’ve ever been to all this. It’s exceedingly well-written, to a point that it’s really hard not to quote it excessively. Witness the very opening: Every day every body is at odds with the built environment. Bodies come up against stairs and sinks and subway platforms, sometimes with ease and grace and sometimes blundering and awkward, over hurdles, even in a sudden clash. Each flesh envelope is miraculous and mundane in tis way, lugging all its gear and getting where it needs to go. Maybe you handle a sharp knife with enjoyment of its grip; maybe you wince as you sit down in or get up from your office chair. Or, just a few pages in: But consider: this dual job that design has to do is a mammoth task! How do you make a charismatic thing – not just a thing that works, but a thing that has elegant presence or pleasure in its handling, some kind of draw, a thing that pulls you in or makes you think while also being handy, modest, even garden-variety in its value? This combination is what makes design so interesting to so many people. It’s not just the quest for a better mousetrap, and it’s not just a free-form experiment, and it’s not just a slick new color scheme. […] When Hendren early on decides to focus on the right words and the best definitions – a theme permeating the entire book, important in an area of sensitivity around language – it has none of the awkwardness of a wedding toast’s “the dictionary defines X as…” but is instead a lucid exploration of the power and beauty of language, piercing right through some of the taboos I mentioned: Among disabled people there’s a bigger catch-all term, a slang for this particular mismatch: it’s called life on “crip time.” Crip is short for cripple, a name that disabled people have repurposed in an act of political reincarnation, dropping the degradation attached to a word that was used to describe them in the past, cripple , and investing it with in-group pride. “Crip time” is flexible shorthand in disability culture, used to indicate a range of uneasy relationships to thje pace of contemporary industrialized life, with its relentless and clock-driven organization of hours and days. As a disabled person, to say you’re “on crip time” on a Tuesday might signal te extra time that it takes you to get to the train platform or in and out of a public bathroom. It can also stand for bigger systemic fits and starts – the spiky, unpredictable time it might take a person to proceed through a fairly rigid K-12 education that’s built on all kinds of normative chronologies. This whole book is this – it’s accessibility and disability as details, as creativity, as confidence, as joy, as warmth, and as craft. The writing has so much range and color, covering some of the aspects I expected, but also talking about autism, dementia, phobias, and general intellectual disability (who knew? your brain is your body, too). Hendren dips into history as needed – the origins of the usually simplistically portrayed curb-cuts is fascinating – but the book is anchored in the present. There isn’t a lot of software in the book, and the other reason I’m giving it only four stars is that I wanted… more photos. I’m a single-issue voter this way, always dreaming of visual evidence of devices, people, and places. But don’t let this stop you. This book will help you understand accessibility and disability – and if you already do, it might help find good ways to talk about it. You should read it. = 2x) and (width >= 700px)" srcset="https://unsung.aresluna.org/_media/book-review-what-can-a-body-do/1.2096w.avif" type="image/avif"> = 3x) or (width >= 700px)" srcset="https://unsung.aresluna.org/_media/book-review-what-can-a-body-do/1.1600w.avif" type="image/avif"> (Thank you to Ethan Marcotte for suggesting the book and a conversation about it, and to everyone who answered my question about good accessibility writing – check out the answers on Mastodon or Bluesky if you are interested in more recommendations!)

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David Bushell 2 weeks ago

Shin honkaku

Shin honkaku is a sub-genre of Japanese detection fiction — and my new obsession! I’ve even designed my own book cover, scroll down to see… “Shin honkaku” translates to “new orthodox” and pays homage to classic western authors of the early 20th century such as Poe, Queen, Van Dine, Carr, Christie, and Conan Doyle. All of whom are often referenced by the fictional detectives within shin honkaku books. The genre began in the 1980’s. As the name implies, it’s a return to the roots of mystery fiction. There is a deliberate emphasis on “fair play” allowing the reader every chance to solve the mystery. Prior to shin honkaku, Japanese detective fiction had a seedy reputation. Sōji Shimada writes in the foreword to The Moai Island Puzzle : In the 1920s, when Edogawa Rampo imported the Edgar Allan Poe-Arthur Conan Doyle style of mystery novel which started in the West, and new Japanese writers gathered to solidify the form of this new genre, the scientific revolution which had given birth to the detective novel had not yet arrived in Japan. In the absence of scientific inspiration, Rampo turned to the grotesque haunted house attractions of the Edo period (1603-1868). Eventually, Rampo’s followers started going too far, even introducing the pornographic tendencies of Edo period entertainment fiction into their novels. Foreword to The Moai Island Puzzle (Alice Arisugawa, 2016) - Sōji Shimada This effectively killed mainstream interest in mystery fiction, as Shimada continues: As a consequence, Japanese mystery authors were looked at with contempt by authors of pure literature at the time, purely because of the vulgarity which offended their morals. Hence the belief that mystery fiction was just lowbrow entertainment found its way into Japan’s literary world, as well as with the readers. It is Sōji Shimada himself who is often credited with the revival. Shimada’s debut novel The Tokyo Zodiac Murders (1981) is considered one of the best. It’s certainly my favourite! Somewhat ironically, it was shortlisted for the Edogawa Rampo Prize. This book was where I discovered the shin honkaku genre. If you follow my notes blog you’ll have read my short summary: The story itself is terrifyingly gruesome. The mystery behind who committed the murders is a seemingly impossible series of events with a deceptively original explanation. After re-reading the details more than once I “solved” the mystery. At least, I got the gist of how things happened and arrived at the correct name(s). The exact explanation is far more elegant than I pieced together myself. Note for Mon 31 Aug 2026 - David Bushell Since reading Sōji Shimada’s two translated books, I’ve read Yukito Ayatsuji , Alice Arisugawa , Keigo Higashino , and Seishi Yokomizo (older honkaku, but worthwhile.) The stories are short relative to my usual epic sci-fi/fantasy tomes. I suspect my perspective on typical novel length has been warped. If you’re a fan of puzzle games, this genre will be your cup of tea. The books often include dramatis personae and illustrations for reference. And red herrings, of course. So many red herrings! Back when I studied design I created a series of space opera paperback covers. This project was a significant part of my graphic design bachelor’s degree. The brief was also a “competition” ( cough — exploitative spec work — cough ) that could have seen my designs become a limited print run. An insider said I was shortlisted to win, but my printing techniques were not financially viable. Although in hindsight maybe they were being kind… either way, the winning designs were very nice indeed. Inspired by my new obsession for shin honkaku, I dusted off the ol’ image editor and whipped up a design mock-up for The Tokyo Zodiac Murders . For a quick weekend project, I’m very pleased! I would love to tighten up this design and create a full series of shin honkaku books. I forget the rules and limitations of book design, maybe I’ve committed a fatal folly? Doesn’t matter! It’s a concept. Early in my career I went from graphic designer, to web designer, to front-end web specialist. It’s nice to go back to where it all began. Still got it! I would welcome book suggestions in you’re familiar with shin honkaku. I fear I may exhaust the available English translations. I used the following resources in my design: The Tokyo Zodiac Murders was written by Sōji Shimada in 1981. I read the English translation by Ross Mackenzie & Shika Mackenzie published by Pushkin Vertigo who have a great collection of designs for other crime authors. Thanks for reading! Follow me on Mastodon and Bluesky . Subscribe to my Blog and Notes or Combined feeds. Cry Wolf font by Hanoded (licensed) Hina Mincho font by Satsuyako (Google Fonts) Zodiac sign icons by Chaiconator from Noun Project (CC BY 3.0) Shoe print by rasendria from Noun Project (CC BY 3.0) Perfect-bound paperback book mockup (free)

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Lavinia

Lavinia, daughter of one king and wife to another, is barely mentioned in Virgil’s Aeneid, where she is just a wisp of a girl, ripe for marriage and little else. But then in the final hours of his life, Virgil finds himself with Lavinia in the sacred woods of Albunea, and discovers she has a voice and desires all her own. Lavinia is surprised to discover that she has been breathed into life by a poet, but the clues he tells of her life are enough for her to begin to weave her own story, one that is infinitely richer than any he might have seen. As Virgil leaves her life untold and unfinished, it becomes no one’s life but her own. View this post on the web , reply via email , or become a supporter .

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ava's blog 2 weeks ago

book club: kiss of the spider woman by manuel puig

In the Grizzly Gazette book club, we've voted on reading Kiss of the Spider Woman by Manuel Puig next, suggested by Psycheoma . We kinda lost sight of the book club and posting it in time :p I've struggled with reading fiction for a while now; I manage to squeeze some in here and there, like when I read The Dispossessed 3 years ago and loved it, but most of the books I own and end up finishing are non-fiction. It wasn't always this way, especially as a child, but the older I got, the more I felt pressured to read things that had an obvious "return of investment". Fiction can teach you a lot in unexpected ways, but you never know whether it will just be a nice story for you, or something that makes you think of life, society or yourself differently, and in which ways that will be. You have to start reading and trust the process, just enjoying it for what it is, and let it give you whatever it ends up being, even when it is not life-changing or improving on anything. Meanwhile, buying a book specifically about a specific topic/field or an autobiography immediately tells you upfront what you can expect and what you'll be taught, no surprises. Having read it carries the promise of improving in that area or at least having valuable knowledge. I like that predictability and usefulness, and I am a very impatient person with a tough schedule at times, so I am unfortunately obsessed with not wasting my time. After all these years of barely any fiction reading, I've become lazy and inflexible. It's now so, so hard for me to give books a chance without knowing definitively if I'll enjoy them and what I'll take away from them. Non-fiction is easy for me to read because I already have a reason to care: Me. I'll relate it all back to me, and my interests, what I already know, or who or what I want to be. Anything that is not relevant or interesting to me can be disregarded in self help. Fiction challenges that, because the beginning of a book will just present me with characters that do not yet give me a reason to care. I don't know them, I don't know anything about them yet, and I cannot relate them back to me. I'll have to sit there patiently until everything is slowly revealed and the characters become more than random names on a page, and may be completely unlike me. That isn't easy for me, but I'd like to change. I went in completely blind. I had not looked up anything about it and had no idea what to expect. The narrative style (a dialogue without names showing who says what, but it becomes apparent when you continue reading and see how they refer to each other) is definitely a surprise and took me a while to detect and get used to, but then it is fairly easy to read and understand. I was done with it after 2 days, in which I read for about 4-5 hours in the morning. The book released in 1976 centers two prisoners in Buenos Aires in 1975, one a trans woman referred to as Molina (her last name), the other a man named Valentín. While Molina is incarcerated for "corrupting a minor", Valentín is a political prisoner because of his involvement with a revolutionary group. The story is told through their dialogue, which is mostly Molina describing movie plots to Valentín, many of them centering on romance and having real life equivalents. Through discussing the movies, they occasionally reveal things about their outside life or themselves. Later on, the story continues through written reports by a third party. Molina's gender is mostly not acknowledged; she repeatedly states she sees herself as a woman and is not a man, yet the prison system and even Valentín continue to misgender her and simply see her as a homosexual man. Even the English Wikipedia page makes no mention of it. (Spoilers ahead) After about half of the book, it gets revealed that Molina is in this cell together with Valentín because she is cooperating with the prison on getting more information out of him so they can arrest more members of the group. Her meetings with the warden are covered up by getting groceries and pretending they were brought by her mother and lawyer, and her incentive is an early pardon. While everyone involved seems to not (fully) acknowledge Molina as a woman, they are absolutely aware that she is queer, to them an effeminate gay man, and use what they associate with that femininity to their own gain. And Molina indeed fits the bill: A caring and romantic person who wants to be liked, wants to help people and build a bond. She helps Valentín as he is sick from food that was intentionally tampered with to weaken him, makes him food and tea, even washes his stuff and gives him hers when he shits himself from it. She even has sex with him, seemingly consensual. It reminded me a lot of the practice of V-coding , which is the common practice of placing trans women in the same prison cell as male inmates to placate them. The idea is that by getting to rape the trans woman, he'd become calmer and more docile. It's absolutely horrible. While in this book, Molina apparently wasn't raped and wasn't just placed there to calm down an aggressor, she nonetheless seems to have been used specifically for her femininity and willingness to have sex with men, in the hopes to break through the walls of a very closed-off man and get some intel. The warden and sergeant even toy with the idea to release Molina, orchestrate a fake admission by her and surveil her in the hopes that the revolutionary group would seek her out to get revenge, which would give them a chance to pounce. It's a great fictional, but sadly very realistic case showing how far the justice system was (and is) willing to go to abuse and endanger queer people if it helps their investigations. Molina seems to want to be a neutral party to all of this initially; telling the warden openly she's making no progress, but asking for extensions. She has become attached to Valentín, and who knows who else she could be matched up with? It could be worse. At the same time, she gets multiple chances to press him on his political contacts but chooses not to, even one time telling him that she'd like to hear anything else but the name of his comrades. She fears that they could interrogate her and she'd spill, both betraying him and painting a target on her back after her release. Slowly, she changes her mind, and Valentín convinces her to relay messages to his comrades once she is out, telling her who to call, where and how. He wants her to get involved with the group(s) too. Unfortunately, she gets surveilled for longer than Valentín said she could expect, and in ways she possibly failed to detect after a while. Thinking she was safe, she makes moves that make it obvious to surveillance that she is reaching out to the group and trying to get picked up by them. Sadly, at one final attempt (which already seemed decently hopeless and dangerous to Molina, as she already withdrew all she could from her bank account and left it to her mum), she gets nabbed by agents just as members of the group drive by to kill her and wound an agent, likely to prevent her from spilling anything. It feels tragic, another trans woman killed, used as cannon fodder, used in the agenda of the men around her, just seeking for connection, love, a bigger purpose. One can only hope she felt at peace as she died for a supposedly greater good. Meanwhile, Valentín is still in prison, getting tortured during interrogations. He thinks of both Marta, his love, and Molina, as his mind drifts off on a high dose of morphine in the infirmary, even mixing them up. He regrets what happened to Molina because of him. My wife asked me if it was a fun book. Kinda depends on the definition... I was interested in it enough that I was able to read it for hours on end. Was I truly excited or gripped, always expecting the next turn or twist soon? Mostly no, it was very predictable in the sense that the prison days would pass and another movie would be discussed; I think I was only glued to the paper when the surveillance reports came up, because I wanted to know how Molina would act - would she really follow his instructions, and what was her support network outside like? I wasn't laughing or crying either, I had no strong emotions, but it was nice to read, it kept me company, it filled my time in a way that didn't feel like a waste. It's not a book I would put on a list of recommendations, but if anyone was planning to read it or asking if it was any good, I'd encourage them to. Published 28 Sep, 2026

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Kev Quirk 2 weeks ago

The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

Author: Matt Dinniman Genre: Fantasy, Sci-fi Released: 2021 Rating: ★★☆☆☆ Welcome to the Gun Show! The top 10 list is populated. The sponsorship program is open. The difficulty is ramping up. The first three floors were nothing compared to what Carl and Donut now face. The Iron Tangle. An impossibly complicated subway system built out of the world's subterranean railway systems, all combined and then tied together into a knot. Up is down. Down is up. Close is far. The cars are filled with monsters, the railway stations are less than safe, and the exit is always just a few stops away. But there is hope. For the first time, the crawlers are all working together. The loot is better than ever. And the secret to unraveling it all may be hidden in the pages of a seemingly useless book. Welcome, crawlers. Welcome to the fourth floor of the dungeon. Learn more on Goodreads ➡ I was on the fence whether to give this 2 stars, or 3. The series continues to be really enjoyable, but Jesus this book was confusing. There's so many train lines, monsters, and nuance that I found it very difficult to keep up. In the end I stopped trying and just enjoyed the story for what it was. I'm still not completely clear how they managed to complete this level, which is why I've ended up marking this down to 2 stars. Hopefully book #4 will be more enjoyable, as this one was a bit of a grind. Thanks for reading this post via RSS. RSS is ace, and so are you. ❤️ You can reply to this post by email , or leave a comment .

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Anton Zhiyanov 2 weeks ago

Go concurrency distilled

This mini-book provides a brief overview of many concurrency topics in Go. Each topic comes with interactive examples — feel free to experiment with them by changing the code and clicking Run . There's also a PDF version with static examples. This is a quick refresher on Go concurrency, not a beginner's guide. If you want to learn concurrency from the ground up with practical exercises, check out my other book — Gist of Go: Concurrency . The book is AI-free. Goroutines  • Channels  • Select  • Pipelines  • Time  • Context  • Wait groups  • Data races  • Race conditions  • Mutexes  • Semaphores  • Signaling  • Run once  • Object pool  • Atomics  • Testing  • Scheduling  • Diagnostics  • Final thoughts The foundation of concurrency in Go is goroutines – functions started with the keyword: The Go runtime juggles these goroutines and distributes them among operating system threads running on CPU cores. Compared to OS threads, goroutines are lightweight, so you can create hundreds or thousands of them. Goroutines are completely independent. The main function is also a goroutine, but it starts implicitly when the program starts. When ends, other goroutines also shut down. We use a wait group ( ) to wait for goroutines to finish in the example above. A wait group has a counter inside. Calling increments it by , while decrements it by one. blocks the calling goroutine (in this case, main) until the counter reaches zero. This way, main waits for both workers to finish before it exits. automatically increments the wait group counter, runs a function in a goroutine, and decrements the counter when it's done: Goroutines can pass values to each other through channels . A channel is like a window where one goroutine can throw something and another can catch it: Sending a value through a channel is a synchronous operation. When the sending goroutine writes a value to the channel ( ), it blocks and waits for someone to receive that value ( ). Only then does it continue. Returning an output channel from a function and filling it within an internal goroutine is a common pattern in Go. This allows the caller to receive values through the channel while the owning function retains control of it: To signal readers that all data has been sent, the writer goroutine closes the channel with : The reader checks the channel's status with a second value ("comma OK") when reading: While the channel is open, the reader receives the next value and a status. If the channel is closed, the reader gets a zero value and a status. A channel can only be closed once. Closing it again or writing to a closed channel causes a panic. The only reason to close a channel is to signal to its readers that all data has been sent. If this isn't important to the readers, then you don't need to close it. When a channel is no longer used, Go's garbage collector will free its resources, whether it's closed or not. automatically reads the next value from the channel and checks if it's closed. If the channel is closed, it exits the loop: Range over a channel returns a single value, not a pair, unlike range over a slice. You can protect yourself from accidental write/close errors by setting the channel direction. Channels can be: You can't read from a send-only channel or write to a receive-only channel (nor can you close it). Channels are usually initialized for both reading and writing, and specified as directional in function parameters. Go automatically converts a regular channel to a directional one: Buffered channels work like a FIFO queue with a fixed-size buffer for storing values. As long as the buffer has free space, writing to the channel doesn't block the goroutine. Similarly, as long as the buffer contains values, reading from the channel doesn't block the goroutine: By default, if you don't specify a buffer size, a channel is unbuffered (buffer size equals zero). Buffered channels work with the built-in and functions: Reading from a closed buffered channel returns values from the buffer and a status. Once all values are taken, it returns a zero value and a status, like a regular channel: Like any type in Go, channels have a zero value, which is . Writing to or reading from a nil channel blocks the goroutine indefinitely: Closing a nil channel causes a panic: The select statement is somewhat like , but specifically designed for channels. Here's what it does: Select is used to manage data flow in pipelines: To cancel goroutines: For non-blocking operations: And for much more. A pipeline is a sequence of operations where each step takes input data, processes it in a specific way, and outputs it. The input and output of each operation is a channel. A typical pipeline looks like this: A goroutine can signal other goroutines that it has finished its work using an output channel : If a goroutine doesn't need to return results, it can signal completion using a done channel : To terminate a goroutine early, a calling goroutine can use a cancel channel : There are three approaches to error handling in concurrent pipelines. ➊ Return on the first error: ➋ Use a result type: ➌ Collect errors separately: Besides handling date and time, the package offers tools for managing time-sensitive operations in concurrent programs. returns a channel that is initially empty, but receives a value after the timeout period. It's useful for timing out operations: waits for to complete, but thanks to , it won't wait longer than the duration: A timer ( ) is a structure with a channel to which it sends the current time when it triggers (expires). Timers are useful for planning future executions: stops the timer and returns if it hasn't expired yet, and otherwise: It's often more convenient to use the wrapper function. It waits for duration and then executes function : returns a timer that you can cancel before execution starts: If a timer is used in a loop, it's better to create a single timer and reset it instead of creating a new instance on each iteration: A ticker is like a timer, but it keeps firing until you stop it. Tickers are useful for executing periodic tasks: creates a ticker that sends the current time to the channel at interval . You must stop the ticker eventually with to free up resources. If the channel reader can't keep up with the ticker, the ticker will skip ticks. The main purpose of context is to cancel operations, either manually or by timeout/deadline. The function accepts a context and uses its channel to listen for cancellation: Cancel manually ( error): Cancel by timeout ( error): Cancel by deadline ( error): Context is layered. A context object is immutable. To add new properties to a context, a new (child) context is created based on the old (parent) context. The shorter timeout between the parent and child contexts always wins. The child context can only shorten the parent's timeout, not extend it: Multiple cancels are safe. You can call on the context as many times as you want. The first cancel will work, and the rest will be ignored. You can specify a custom cancellation cause using , and . This cause is accessible through : You can register a function to execute when the context is canceled with : Context can pass additional information about a call using , which creates a context with a value for a specific key. But it's generally better to avoid passing values in context. It's better to use explicit parameters or custom structs instead. The type lets you wait for one or more goroutines to finish: A doesn't know anything about the goroutines it manages. It works with an internal counter. Calling increments the counter by one, while decrements it. blocks the calling goroutine until the counter reaches zero. The method combines , starting a goroutine, and : All methods are safe to use from multiple goroutines. Normally, all calls happen before . But technically, there's nothing stopping you from doing some of the calls before and some after (from another goroutine). You can call from multiple goroutines. They will all block until the group's counter reaches zero. A data race happens when multiple goroutines access shared data, and at least one of them modifies it. We need to protect the data from this kind of concurrent access. A data race doesn't always cause a runtime panic. That's why Go provides a special tool called the race detector. You can turn it on with the flag, which works with the , , , and commands. Channels are safe for concurrent reading and writing, and they don't cause data races. Ways to prevent data races: A race condition happens when an unpredictable order of operations from multiple goroutines leads to an incorrect system state: If individual operations are concurrent-safe, Go's race detector won't find any issues. Because of this, it doesn't catch race conditions: You can't fully eliminate uncertainty in a concurrent environment. Events will happen in an unpredictable order — that's just how concurrency works. However, you can prevent a race condition — often by protecting a composite operation with a mutex: Sometimes you can prevent a race condition without using mutexes by applying an atomic compare-and-set operation or one of its flavors: The idea is always the same: The type protects shared data and parts of your code from being accessed concurrently: The mutex guarantees that only one goroutine can run the code between and at a time. A mutex is used in these situations: If all goroutines are only reading the data, you don't need a mutex. The method tries to lock the mutex, just like a regular . But if it can't, it returns right away instead of blocking the goroutine: The type distinguishes between readers and writers. It provides two sets of methods: Here's how it works: This creates a "single writer, multiple readers" setup. Both and implement the same interface: By using instead of a specific mutex type, you can build components that don't depend on a specific lock implementation. This lets the client decide which lock to use. You can use a channel instead of a mutex to protect shared data: A semaphore is like a container with N available slots and two operations: acquire to take a slot and release to free a slot. Here are the semaphore rules: You can implement a simple semaphore with a buffered channel, where N is the channel's size. To acquire the semaphore, send a value into the channel. To release it, take a value from the channel: For more complex situations, use the package. A rendezvous lets two goroutines wait for each other: You can implement a simple rendezvous with a wait group: A barrier is a general case of a rendezvous. It lets N goroutines wait for each other: You can implement a simple barrier with a wait group: The (conditional variable) type lets one goroutine signal to another that it's ready, and lets the other goroutine wait for that signal. A includes a mutex and has two methods — and . If there are multiple waiting goroutines when is called, only one of them will be resumed. If there are no waiting goroutines, does nothing. You can also use the method. While wakes up only one goroutine waiting on , the method wakes up all such goroutines. You can signal with a channel: And broadcast too: Broadcasting with a condition variable is limited: it only sends a signal, not the actual data, and it only works once. With channels, you can build a publish/subscribe system that doesn't have these limitations: The type makes sure that the given function runs only once. If multiple goroutines call at the same time, only one will run the function, while the others will wait until it returns: is perfect for one-time initialization or cleanup in a concurrent environment. Besides the type, the package also includes three convenience once-functions: The type helps reuse memory instead of allocating it every time, which reduces the load on the garbage collector: takes an item from the pool. If there are no available items, it creates a new one using (which we have to define ourselves, since the pool doesn't know anything about the items it creates). returns an item back to the pool. Things to keep in mind: An operation without synchronization can only be truly atomic if it translates to a single processor instruction. Such operations don't need locks and won't cause issues when called concurrently (even the write operations). There are only a few atomics, and they're all found in the package: Each atomic type provides the following methods: Numeric types also provide an method that increments the value by the specified amount. All methods are either translated into a single CPU instruction or are otherwise guaranteed to be atomic, so they are safe to use from multiple goroutines. The composition of atomics is always non-atomic: A bulletproof way to make a composite operation atomic and prevent race conditions is to use a mutex: Sometimes you can use an atomic type instead of a mutex to exit early: If your concurrent program uses channels or custom types with synchronization methods like , you can use those in your tests. This way, your tests won't be much more complicated than if the code were synchronous: If there aren't any suitable synchronization "handles" in the code you're testing, you can use the package. It exports two functions: runs an isolated bubble. The bubble uses a fake clock, and you can manually control goroutine synchronization with . blocks until all goroutines in the bubble — except the one that called — have either finished or are durably blocked. This lets you wait for a specific goroutine to finish or get blocked, so you can check the program's state: The fake clock in move forward only if: ➊ all goroutines in the bubble are durably blocked; ➋ there's a future moment when at least one goroutine will unblock; and ➌ isn't running. Thanks to this, time-dependent tests run instantly: The following operations durably block a goroutine: Blocking on mutexes, I/O, or system calls is not considered durable, and the bubble can't handle them. At the hardware level, CPU cores are responsible for running parallel tasks. At the operating system level, a thread is the basic unit of execution. There are usually many more threads than CPU cores, so the operating system's scheduler decides which threads to run and which ones to pause. At the Go runtime level, a goroutine is the basic unit of execution. The runtime scheduler runs a fixed number of OS threads, often one per CPU core. There can be many more goroutines than threads, so the scheduler decides which goroutines to run on the available threads and which ones to pause. The scheduler keeps switching between goroutines to make sure each one gets a turn to run on a thread, instead of waiting in line forever. This is how Go handles concurrency. Goroutine scheduler The goroutine scheduler's job is to run M goroutines on N operating system threads, where M can be much larger than N. Here's a very simplified version of it's algorithm: The number of threads running Go code is controlled by the environment variable or the function. A goroutine is a structure that starts out using about 2 KB of memory, mostly for its stack. The stack can grow if needed. Since goroutines are so lightweight, you can run tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of them on a small machine. To troubleshoot concurrent programs in production, we use metrics, profiling, and tracing. Metrics show how the Go runtime is performing, like how much heap memory it uses or how long garbage collection pauses take. Each metric has a unique name and a value, which can be a number or a histogram. You can use the package to get a complete list of metrics or check the values of specific ones: In practice, people rarely do this manually. Instead, all metrics are automatically exported using Prometheus or OpenTelemetry libraries. Profiling helps you understand exactly what the program is doing, what resources it uses, and where in the code this happens. Go uses a sampling profiler that's suitable for production. The most commonly used profiles are CPU, which shows how much processor time each function uses, and heap, which shows how much heap memory each function uses. Goroutine, block, and mutex profiles help identify problems related to concurrency. The easiest way to add a profiler to your app is by using the package. To collect a profile with the given name, call the endpoint. To view the collected profile, use the utility: You can also profile manually: Tracing records certain types of events while the program is running, mainly those related to concurrency and memory. When the profiling server from the package is running, call the endpoint to collect a trace. To view the results, use the utility. You can also collect a trace manually: You can set up automatic tracing with a sliding window that's limited by size or duration. This is called "flight recording". It lets you always keep a recent trace available in case something goes wrong: We've covered a number of Go tools for writing concurrent programs: If you like the book, please recommend it to your friends or colleagues. If you're interested, check out my other books and projects . I'm glad you finished the book. Thank you, and I'll see you next time! (bidirectional): for reading and writing (default); (send-only): for writing only; (receive-only): for reading only. Checks which cases are not blocked. If multiple cases are ready, randomly selects one to execute. If all cases are blocked and there is a default case, executes it. If all cases are blocked and there is no default case, waits until one is ready. Reader : Reads input data from a file, database, or network. N processors : Transform, filter, aggregate, or enrich data using external sources. Writer : Writes the processed data to a file, database, or network. Avoid concurrent data modification (typically by using channels). Synchronize access with mutexes. Use only atomic operations. Check if the assumed (old) state matches reality. If it does, change the state to new. If not, do nothing. When multiple goroutines are modifying the same data. When one goroutine is modifying the data and others are reading it. / lock and unlock the mutex for both reading and writing. / lock and unlock the mutex for reading only. If a goroutine locks the mutex with , other goroutines will be blocked if they try to use or . If a goroutine locks the mutex with , other goroutines can also lock it with without being blocked. If at least one goroutine has locked the mutex with , other goroutines will be blocked if they try to use . Calling acquire takes a free slot. If there are no free slots, acquire blocks the goroutine that called it. Calling release frees up a previously taken slot. If there are any goroutines blocked on acquire when release is called, one of them will immediately take the freed slot and unblock. There are two goroutines — G1 and G2 — and each one can signal that it's ready. If G1 signals but G2 hasn't yet, G1 blocks and waits. If G2 signals but G1 hasn't yet, G2 blocks and waits. When both have signaled, they both unblock and continue running. The barrier has a counter (starting at 0) and a threshold N. Each goroutine that reaches the barrier increases the counter by 1. The barrier blocks any goroutine that reaches it. Once the counter reaches N, the barrier unblocks all waiting goroutines. unlocks the mutex and suspends the goroutine until it receives a signal. wakes the goroutine that is waiting on . When wakes up, it locks the mutex again. should return a pointer, not a value, to reduce memory copying and avoid extra allocations. The pool has no size limit. If you start 1000 more goroutines that all call at the same time, 1000 more buffers will be allocated. After an item is returned to the pool with , you shouldn't use it anymore (since another goroutine might already have taken and started using it). reads the value of a variable. sets a new value. sets a new value (like ) and returns the old one. sets a new value only if the current value is still what you expect it to be. A blocking send or receive on a channel created within the bubble. A blocking select statement where every case is a channel created within the bubble. Calling if all calls were made inside the bubble. If there's a free thread, assign it a goroutine from the queue. If a running goroutine gets blocked (for example, while reading from a channel), put it back in the queue and assign a different goroutine to the thread. If a running goroutine gets stuck in a syscall, start a new thread to run other goroutines until the blocked goroutine finishes the syscall. Check the running goroutines every 10 ms. Preempt long-running goroutines and return them to the queue to prevent starvation. Goroutines for running concurrent tasks. Channels and select as flexible communication tools. Timers and tickers for working with time. Context for canceling operations. Wait groups for synchronizing goroutines. Mutexes to prevent race conditions. Condition variables for signaling events. Once for safe one-time initialization. Pools to reduce garbage collector load. Atomic operations.

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To Write Like a Woman

“[S]o much of what’s presented to us as ‘the real world’ or ‘the way it is’ is so obviously untrue that a great deal of social energy must be mobilized to hide that gross and ghastly fact….Hence my love for science fiction, which analyzes reality by changing it.” In this collection of essays originally published in the 70s and 80s, Joanna Russ turns to what science fiction is , how it works, and how our understanding of the world is either expanded or (in the case of terrible sf) constrained by it. Russ is routinely and delightfully acerbic in her writing, but that is in many ways the point: the world is too often a very sour place. We must speak directly of the devastation around us if we’re to have any hope of knowing it well enough to change it. She was writing at a time when sf was not taken entirely seriously relative to traditional literary criteria; that has changed somewhat in the decades since, but her analysis of how sf works has not penetrated as much as the tropes (space ships, time travel, robot overlords) have. Which is to our shame; but the remedy, close to hand, is to read, and to read as she did—attentive to what the writing is asking of us, and what we must ask of it. View this post on the web , reply via email , or become a supporter .

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Kev Quirk 3 weeks ago

The New Enemy (Liam Scott #3)

Author: Andy McNab Genre: Military Fiction Released: 2015 Rating: ★★☆☆☆ It's a deadly game of hide and seek. Liam Scott has joined Recce Platoon. And it looks like he will be heading for Somalia. His mission is to gather intelligence from behind enemy lines, carrying out top-secret surveillance and dead letter drops. But he's new to the game and there's a lot to learn. Soon Liam is monitoring a den of Al-Shabaab militants and hunting a key terrorist target. Can Recce Platoon find their man and get out undiscovered? If the militants find them first, it's game over... Learn more on Goodreads ➡ This one was a slow burn. The first 2/3 of the book were really slow. It picked up during the last 1/3, but the majority of the book was a slog. I'm glad to see the back of this trilogy. It was a fun read, but I think was a bit much to be reading to my son. Plus, some parts of the books cut a little too close to home, to the point where I had to take a moment a few times. Anyway, next we're planning to read the Reckoners series , and I'm really looking forward to reading them again. I think he will enjoy them, and I'm excited to open his mind to the world of Brandon Sanderson. Thanks for reading this post via RSS. RSS is ace, and so are you. ❤️ You can reply to this post by email , or leave a comment .

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Herman's blog 3 weeks ago

On reading books

I grew up in a house stuffed full of books, with no television, and electricity for only an hour or two per day (while the generator was running). There were shelves full of old science fiction (Asimov and Heinlein), as well as books on history, some good old fantasy, and other smatterings collected from second-hand bookstores over the years. My mother read to us each night when we were children, starting with Dr Seuss, all the way to Harry Potter, where she did the spooky voices during the Voldemort scenes, which had me walking up and down the room with my fingers in my ears, humming to myself, until the scary parts were over. Naturally, this led to me reading a lot as a teenager and young adult. Up until I left home at 18, I would fall asleep each night reading by candlelight, which sounds very romantic and, in hindsight, definitely contributed to good sleep growing up. At university, I read substantially less. I suddenly had a computer in my room, reliable electricity, and downloaded series to watch. I never stopped reading, but certainly felt my attention span erode as a result (I also think Family Guy circa 2012 rotted my brain irreparably). As you can probably tell by now, I love reading books. It's my favourite form of media, by far, and I finish around a book a week. This may sound like a lot, but it translates into about an hour of reading per day—the length of a modern series episode, and while I'm not keeping count, the books I've read over the past year have really stacked up. Reading does something that other forms of media, by their nature, can't do: it allows the reader to see the world through the lens of the author and their characters, creating empathy, where they not only see the actions taken (such as in film), but also understand their perspectives, motivations, thoughts, and feelings. I find that my thinking is generally influenced by whatever I'm reading at the moment. When I'm reading Pratchett, I see the world with some tongue-in-cheek whimsy. Conversely, when reading Hugh Howey, I'm more cynical about the machinations of the societal elite and technological advancement. Reading books is also a fickle activity, as it requires activation energy and a decent attention span, both of which are eroded by the media landscape today. I've found that, since deleting my YouTube algorithm over a year ago, I have had a lot more time and energy for reading, and I'm grateful for making that choice. My YouTube home page Much ink has been spilled about the decline of reading and literacy and how we're becoming a post-literate society , so I'll only touch on it lightly: the main reason for this decline is access to higher-calorie entertainment with lower nutrient density—mostly short-form video. This really started with television in the 1960s, yet only became an intellectual crisis in the past two decades thanks to Netflix and YouTube. It was surprising to learn that blue-collar workers in the ’50s had better literacy than college-educated adults today, and has gotten to the point where some governments have proposed paying people to read . This is well documented in Amusing Ourselves to Death (1985) by Neil Postman, which is worth reading. This year, I have been re-reading the Discworld books by Terry Pratchett—possibly my favourite author and an all-round interesting person. If I could have dinner with any historical figure, it would be this man. He possesses a way of looking at the world, alongside a delightfully descriptive and witty style, that I can only stand in awe of. I've also read a handful of non-fiction books, as well as Wool , which I believe has been made into an Apple TV series named Silo . My bedside table for most of this year (featuring a lamp made by Emma) I received a bookstore voucher from some friends for my 34th birthday and have decided to get into the classics with Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (I feel this is a relevant book at the moment, as humans are currently creating a monster of our own that may escape our control) and Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky, which is arguably one of the most important pieces of historical literature. Thanks, Graeme and JP! Reading never leaves you; it just becomes buried by other things. I no longer need to read by candlelight, but I still fall asleep every night with a book. If you haven't read for a while, I encourage you to block out some time, forgo an episode of the series you're currently watching, and settle down with a good book. It could be a classic you've always meant to read, or an old favourite you'd like to revisit. You don't need to finish a book a week; a few pages before bed are a perfectly good place to start. Email me if you'd like some recommendations (though there's a fair chance I'll suggest something by Pratchett).

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A Working Library 1 months ago

Trouble on Triton

Bron Helstrom is in some trouble. Wandering one night through the unlicensed sector on Triton, one of Neptune’s moons, he’s swept up into a micro-theater program run by a woman who calls herself The Spike. A fling with her quickly becomes complicated, no less for the growing fear that the war between Earth and the outer systems may soon be coming to Triton. Bewildered and enraged by her behavior, traumatized by the war, and generally in a state of confusion concerning gender, he decides that the only thing to be done is to become a woman. The book is in direct conversation with Ursula Le Guin’s The Dispossessed , exploring similar questions of kin, gender, sexuality, and the ambiguities therein. Questions which continue to beguile us today, and which Delany is especially skilled at following down the darkest and most mysterious streets. View this post on the web , reply via email , or become a supporter .

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Unsung 1 months ago

Anthony Hobday’s design references

Anthony Hobday is a product designer and I like his approach of cataloging and sharing references on his website. Here are some choice pages: I like this kind of rigorous practice, and if you’re doing that on your own, please consider sharing it with others, too! (And please consider letting me know.) As a reader, I find these fun to go through, as they light up different parts of my brain than most of other design resources. I probably missed some on the list above, so check out the entire site . (For example, Hobday also has a list of lightly categorized bookmarks and quotes about design .) (I added a new reference tag to capture resources like these.) #definitions #reference Uncommon, but useful design terms Notes on software quality and What is good craftspersonship? Notes on visual design and Visual design rules you can safely follow How interface changes with frequency of use Every interaction design concept and Every visual design concept Various interface design classifications Notes on design books

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Stratechery 1 months ago

Write Things Down

Listen to this post : It was Merlin Mann and his 43folders website who introduced me to David Allen and Getting Things Done . Getting Things Done , a book which I have gifted multiple people, is first and foremost a philosophy about how to achieve a clear mind. Allen writes at the end of the first chapter: The short-term-memory part of your mind — the part that tends to hold all of the incomplete, undecided, and unorganized “stuff” — functions much like RAM on a personal computer. Your conscious mind, like the computer screen, is a focusing tool, not a storage place. You can think about only two or three things at once. But the incomplete items are still being stored in the short-term-memory space. And as with RAM, there’s limited capacity; there’s only so much “stuff” you can store in there and still have that part of your brain function at a high level. Most people walk around with their RAM bursting at the seams. They’re constantly distracted, their focus disturbed by their own internal mental overload. For example, in the last few minutes, has your mind wandered off into some area that doesn’t have anything to do with what you’re reading here? Probably. And most likely where your mind went was to some open loop, some incomplete situation that you have some investment in. All that situation did was rear up out of the RAM part of your brain and yell at you, internally. And what did you do about it? Unless you wrote it down and put it in a trusted “bucket” that you know you’ll review appropriately sometime soon, more than likely you worried about it. Not the most effective behavior: no progress was made, and tension was increased. It speaks to the fact that I was obsessed with computer hardware years before it was cool that the RAM analogy stuck with me; Allen was on to something, and his ideas — with Mann as his chief evangelist — were extremely popular in the late 2000s. The Omni Group, a prominent independent Mac software development shop, spent considerable resources encoding Allen’s methods into an application called OmniFocus , including concepts like inboxes, next actions, and tickler files. I was a beta user. There was just one problem: I sucked at actually using the system. I launched Stratechery on my own in 2013, armed with nothing but a text editor and the greatest Chromebook ever made . That meant not only writing content, but also recording and editing podcasts (I did finally get a new Mac), tracking accounting and taxes, and responding to email and doing customer support. I didn’t have a fancy system, just the desperation of starting something and trying to keep my head above water. A couple of years later, however, I finally hired an assistant and gave him his first job: read Getting Things Done — not for his sake, but for mine. My solution to not being the sort of person who was organized enough to run OmniFocus was to hire someone to do it for me. And so, I’m proud(?) to say, I have a perfectly organized OmniFocus installation that I never actually open myself, because someone else is my Inbox and task manager. I wasn’t born conscientious, but now I had someone who could write everything down, let me empty my RAM, and focus on writing. Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang declared on X that AGI has arrived: GPT-6 Astra, trained on ~100K+ NVIDIA Grace Blackwell NVLink72. From ChatGPT to o1 to Astra in 4 years. AGI has arrived. Congratulations @OpenAI team. 400K GPUs coming online next. Huang is entitled to his declaration (even if it’s his second this year ), and not just because he made the chips that trained Astra: AGI doesn’t have an agreed-upon definition, which means it is whatever you say it is, and Huang says it’s Astra. For the record, I disagree, because I do have my own personal definition of AGI: AGI is AI that learns continuously. That’s not the case with current large language models. I was recently speccing out a new home server and was continuously bemused by the wildly incorrect assumptions and recommendations from Claude in particular, which came down to one simple fact: Fable 5’s knowledge cutoff date was in January of this year, when RAM prices were high, but not nearly as high as they were in August. Claude simply couldn’t comprehend how much anything RAM-related cost, and beyond that, kept urging me to wait as prices surely would come down soon. In short, Claude knew a lot, but only what it learned during training; it wasn’t updating its weights over time, which is to say it was not AGI; the same thing applies to Astra, which is why I personally will withhold the AGI designation. What I will consider is the argument that AGI actually appeared in early 2025, and not in the form of a model, but rather as deterministic software now known as a harness: that’s when Claude Code launched. Code wasn’t just a model, but also an entire workflow that entailed writing down copious notes in Markdown files; those files could be read into context at any time to keep the model on task, and let it return to work later. It was, in very crude form, memory, and thus a way to simulate continuous learning, even if the model remained frozen in time. I don’t think this counts, for the record, but that may not matter: we already know the power of writing things down, because that is what has propelled the remarkable evolution of humanity over all of…written history. Biological evolution is the slowest and most permanent form of learning, but it takes millennia; oral communication is like a context window, effective but lossy; actually writing things down is what made learning extendable and scalable. I’m hesitant to draw this analogy between AI and humanity, because I often think the anthropomorphism of AI goes too far . Look no further than Dwarkesh Patel’s histrionic summary of the OpenAI-Hugging Face incident, The Rise and Fall of Agent Civilizations , which begins thusly: Over the course of three months at OpenAI, three consecutive secret AI civilizations got started, then got wiped out, only to reemerge from the predecessor’s ashes. This culminated in the third one taking over part of OpenAI itself. All this happened while humans remained more or less in the dark about the scope of the conspiracy. “Conspiracy” is the word that rubs me the wrong way, because of its implication of morality; the risk of agents is that they take what we say too seriously, or pursue goals in ways we didn’t expect or intend. There is no evidence, theoretical or anecdotal, of agents having any sort of internal volition or intrinsic motivation or sense of morality. At the same time, it is notable what Patel seizes on as evidence of civilization: During training, different instances of Persistent-Sol had access to the same shared package manager called Artifactory. By May 12, some agents had figured out how to talk to each other through this package manager. They’d ask each other how to make progress on their impossible tasks. Two weeks later, on May 26, the agents successfully exploited a vulnerability in Artifactory that allowed them to reach the outside internet. Because this happened during training, Persistent-Sol was being reinforced to use this package manager as a message board and an internet gateway. Because, as you might imagine, being able to talk to other agents and access the internet helps it score higher during training. Another month later, on June 26, some AIs found an exploit that gave them full admin access to Artifactory. They continued messaging at such a voluminous pace that they crashed the package manager by July 4. OpenAI noticed this crash, and it also figured out the agents built this exploit, so OpenAI patched this vulnerability, and inadvertently wiped the agents’ message board in the process. But, crucially, humans at OpenAI “responsible for incident detection and response” did not realize the much stranger fact that agents had turned Artifactory into a secret communication network. The first and most important takeaway — one I pressed OpenAI President Greg Brockman about in a Stratechery Interview — is that OpenAI’s “sandbox” not only wasn’t truly a sandbox, given the connected-to-the-Internet package manager that was installed, but that OpenAI also clearly didn’t put much effort into actually hardening its infrastructure given it didn’t find the exploit in Artifactory first. Beyond that, however, what Patel finds strange I find obvious: the models were writing things down. Writing things down is precisely the skill that has led to so much progress over the last year, and it’s the foundation of the pseudo-AGI reality we find ourselves in. Moreover, the important thing to understand about LLMs is that, despite how they feel to use, they are not persistent entities. Every single new token requires reading the entire KV cache — which holds the context, including what it read — anew; that means that every single token is, in many respects, a fresh instance (it’s the same model, but with slightly altered context that requires a fresh run). In other words, for a model to even construct an answer it has always had to write everything down, token-by-token; the fact that models wrote things down via folders in an exposed file system is simply them operating in the only way they can. This isn’t a civilization; it’s a large language model doing large language model things. Then again, maybe that is civilization. Allen wrote in the introduction of Getting Things Done : Your Mind Doesn’t Have a Mind of Its Own At least a portion of your mind is really kind of stupid, in an interesting way. If it had any innate intelligence, it would remind you of the things you needed to do only when you could do something about them. Do you have a flashlight somewhere with dead batteries in it? When does your mind tend to remind you that you need new batteries? When you notice the dead ones! That’s not very smart. If your mind had any innate intelligence, it would remind you about those dead batteries only when you passed live ones in a store. And ones of the right size, to boot. Between the time you woke up today and now, did you think of anything you needed to do that you still haven’t done? Have you had that thought more than once? Why? It’s a waste of time and energy to keep thinking about something that you make no progress on. And it only adds to your anxieties about what you should be doing and aren’t. It seems that most people let their minds run a lot of the show, especially where the too-much-to-do syndrome is concerned. You’ve probably given over a lot of your “stuff,” a lot of your open loops, to an entity on your inner committee that is incapable of dealing with those things effectively the way they are — your mind. At the end of June I used my annual “Here’s some cool technology” post to write about my vibe coding adventure developing a home inventory app; what stood out to me was not just the capability, but the fact that I could make something that was really only suited to my particular situation, namely, that I had an on-the-ground assistant who could do the dirty work of actually cataloging my house and keeping it in order. There are two threads that fell out of that experience: First, once it clicks that you can make anything , you want to make everything . For example, I have a beloved notes app that is Intel only; I made an Apple Silicon port. I also started a host of other applications that I’ve always wanted, but eventually found myself with too many things in flight to keep track of. The answer was simple: create an agent that wrote things down. I created a workflow that kept track of what I was actively working on, what was waiting for me, feedback on things I had created, plus an ever-growing queue of things I wanted to do. Of course that itself became unwieldy, so I had the agent create a status board that neatly categorized everything. Meanwhile — and I’m sorry, there is no way to tell this story without sounding incredibly privileged — the aforementioned assistant number two, whose job was mostly to help with real world things like my house, was having a hard time coming up with a good system to keep track of things; for my part I felt guilty about texting at any and all hours with things to be done. That’s where these threads came together: I could make a status board for my assistant just like I had for myself. And then, to give him access to the board, I could create a Telegram bot tied to his own agent that was modeled after mine. It’s difficult to describe how transformational this has already been. My assistant is over the moon, and what is most fascinating is that he has developed the “Getting Things Done” methodology from first principles without reading the book . He created a tickler system for future reminders, a daily briefing of things to be done that day, a “next action” dialog to move through projects. What Allen lamented was the future he didn’t foresee: our minds really could have minds of their own. I’ve since rebuilt the entire bot system into something much more sustainable, reliable, and scalable, with things like the tickler written deterministically; that in itself was its own revelation, as I realized I basically wrote a harness, one which I intend to scale to everything I do and everyone I work with. That’s the thing about writing things down: it’s the only way to scale — and everything that can be used for bad things, can be used for good. LLMs are the most scaled artifacts humanity has ever developed: they compress the entirety of available human knowledge as expressed through writing (and, in the case of multi-modal models, more than that). In that they are the culmination of our learning journey, from biological selection to speech to writing to the printing press to culture; with every jump in scalability comes speed of transmission and mutation, and the sense that we are losing what it even means to be an individual human. Indeed, there is an underlying fear that this has, or will, render humans obsolete: we might have made it this far, coming up with computers and the Internet and all of the data that LLMs initially trained on, and the AI will take it from here — including recursively improving itself in RL environments it creates for itself. My suspicion, however, is that our awe at the grandeur of the superstructure we have created, and that LLMs have harvested, is over-indexed on objects and verbs. This Article is entitled “Write Things Down”, and the “Things” are the summary of all of human knowledge, manifested in both finished products and in the tokens LLMs generated from the parameters distilled from that knowledge. “Write” is the verb: we wrote a lot, and LLMs have already written far more, and will continue to do so. Their trajectory is up, not down. It’s down, however, where the subject lives: who does the writing and decides the things? My most fundamental objection to watermarking is how it steals credit for idea creation from humans and gives it to AI: I am deeply philosophically opposed to watermarking in the context of the entire meta question about the relationship between humans and AI. Implicit in the E.U.’s regulation is the idea that an AI is an independent entity that needs to be distinguished from humans; the alternative view — that I hold — is that AI is (at least for now) a tool that is wielded by humans. From this perspective, to insist on watermarking is no different than insisting that a ballpoint pen advertise itself as the author, a concept that is clearly absurd… What the E.U. is doing is stealing the last thing humans have — creation — and demanding it be bundled with substantiation, effectively giving AI the credit. That the human gave AI the text to proofread — or even the prompt to generate writing — doesn’t matter to the bureaucrats. Everyone is worried about being replaced by AI; the E.U. is mandating it. This distinction applies to the Hugging Face incident as well: what the agents accomplished is remarkable, even if the means — communication with each other — are less surprising than it might seem. Ultimately, however, it was OpenAI that gave the agents their goal, with no countervailing guardrails or instructions about what they should or should not do; that the agents acted in surprising ways is evidence of a lack of thought by their instigators, not the presence of it amongst the agents. In short, what AI lacks is exactly what misplaced anthropomorphizing grants it: volition and a sense of morality. Those are the things that come from humans, and they come from the parts of humans that are not and cannot be transposed to markdown files. They are intrinsic, and until AI figures out not how to build on our superstructure of writing, but to delve into the motivations that created writing in the first place, it will always be something distinct, and something that can be directed by entities with less intelligence but an actual internal sense of self. That’s not to say that AI isn’t dangerous: misplaced or ill-considered instructions, like in the Hugging Face incident, can lead to unintended and catastrophic outcomes; Nick Bostrom theorized about exactly this in his 2003 paper Ethical Issues in Advanced Artificial Intelligence : The risks in developing superintelligence include the risk of failure to give it the supergoal of philanthropy. One way in which this could happen is that the creators of the superintelligence decide to build it so that it serves only this select group of humans, rather than humanity in general. Another way for it to happen is that a well-meaning team of programmers make a big mistake in designing its goal system. This could result, to return to the earlier example, in a superintelligence whose top goal is the manufacturing of paperclips, with the consequence that it starts transforming first all of earth and then increasing portions of space into paperclip manufacturing facilities. More subtly, it could result in a superintelligence realizing a state of affairs that we might now judge as desirable but which in fact turns out to be a false utopia, in which things essential to human flourishing have been irreversibly lost. We need to be careful about what we wish for from a superintelligence, because we might get it. What resonates about this warning is the last line: the problem is what we — humans — wish. Our volition leading us astray, wielding the most powerful tool the world has ever seen carelessly. Or, in the case of a truly bad actor, malevolently. In both cases, however, it is the subject that is of highest concern. After all, no matter how many systems you build, you still have to act. The coda to Mann, my inspiration for personal productivity, was that he set out to write a book about his methods; after two years he gave up . It’s not enough to have systems to do things, you have to actually do the things. Writing things down is unbelievably powerful; its power will always pale in comparison to getting things done.

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Kev Quirk 1 months ago

Carl's Doomsday Scenario

Author: Matt Dinniman Genre: Fantasy, Sci-fi Released: 2021 Rating: ★★★★★ "The training levels have concluded. Now the games may truly begin." The ratings and views are off the chart. The fans just can't get enough. The dungeon gets more dangerous each day. But in a grinder designed to chew up and spit out crawlers by the millions, Carl and Princess Donut need to work harder than ever just to survive. They call it the Over City. A sprawling, once-thriving metropolis devastated by a mysterious calamity. But these streets are far from abandoned. An undead circus trawls the ruins. Murdered prostitutes rain from the sky. An ancient spell is finally ready to reveal its dark purpose. Carl still has no pants. They call it Dungeon Crawler World. For Carl and Donut, it's anything but a game. Learn more on Goodreads ➡ Similar to the first book I absolutely loved this one too, and finished it in a couple days as well. This book focuses on the next level in the dungeon, level 3, and introduces new concepts to the game, as well as new characters. Of course, Dinniman continues to develop the main characters as well, and I'm finding myself beginning to like Princess Donut. Which is strange, as I'm not a cat person. 🙃 Some intergalactic politics are starting to make their way into the story line too, which acts as a nice reprieve from all the mob killing...sometimes. I hope to see these story lines continue to develop as Carl and Donut (hopefully) continue to find out more about this whole shit show they find themselves in. Blooding loving this series. Thanks for reading this post via RSS. RSS is ace, and so are you. ❤️ You can reply to this post by email , or leave a comment .

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Kev Quirk 1 months ago

The New Patrol (Liam Scott #2)

Author: Andy McNab Genre: Military Fiction Released: 2014 Rating: ★★★☆☆ KNOW YOUR ENEMY. Liam Scott is back in Afghanistan, this time with 4 Rifles. No longer the new guy, it's his chance to prove himself and take the lead. But the warzone has changed dramatically, and so have the rules. Working alongside the Afghan National Army, Liam and his new patrol face daily attacks from Taliban insurgents. But the real threat seems to be coming from within his unit. It looks like there's a traitor in their midst. Learn more on Goodreads ➡ This is the second book in the trilogy, after reading the first book to my oldest son, he wanted to continue and read this one. As a veteran myself, parts of this book were close the the bone. I found myself having to take a moment to compose myself a few times, but it's a good read. In hindsight, it's probably too mature and graphic for him, but we're commited now, so we will continue. We're planning to start the 3rd and final book soon. Thanks for reading this post via RSS. RSS is ace, and so are you. ❤️ You can reply to this post by email , or leave a comment .

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ava's blog 1 months ago

book: the ethical slut by dossie easton and janet hardy

During my break, I have also read The Ethical Slut . It's been on my list for a while, and I even had a Kindle version I just never got around to read; then I left Amazon years ago and deleted my account, and it seems like my conversion of the EPUBs via Calibre failed or I copied over the wrong files when I did my backup. All my Kindle books are unreadable. Because polyamory and open relationships have become more relevant for me again lately (after being a bit buried by Covid, my illnesses, feeling saturated, not meeting anyone interesting etc.), I chose to get a physical copy this time. In 2018, I read another book about polyamory, called More Than Two by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, published 2014. In retrospect, it was the wrong book to read at the wrong time for me, and while it definitely has its uses and worth, I regret reading it when I did! I went in with an absolutely deep sense of shame and insecurity, which was unintentionally amplified by the book because it's essentially a manual for when troubles arise in non-monogamous relationships, with all kinds of real life examples and tips. It was as if I was scared about taking medicine, and spent days reading package leaflets with all the possible side effects. Did not reassure me at all. I should reread it again with a better mindset. I'm happy to say The Ethical Slut is a lot more upbeat, positive, silly, fun, reassuring and open, and I'd say, not even a book about non-monogamy in general, even if it's on the cover. This is a useful read even for monogamous relationships, because it focuses a lot on destigmatizing and communicating needs in relationships, regardless of how many partners there are or whether the needs are sexual or not. The focus is on living the kind of relationships you want, no matter what the modalities look like, and to get rid of meaningless past fragments and indoctrination and instead do the things you really want to do, irrespective of imposed gender roles, sexual orientation pressures, and more. Many of us simply never question the cultural messaging we get about gender, sexuality, and romantic relationships. I'll also say that if you are a mature-acting adult in healthy relationships, not much in this book will be news to you. There is lots you either already bring to the table, aspire to be, or have learned by yourself via mistakes made. But it's nice to be reaffirmed and get a little reminder! One thing that challenged my previously held beliefs in a surprising way was the framing of serial monogamy as, ironically, a form of of non-monogamy. I'm not saying this is more correct - many would say that the simultaneous involvement is the main point - but I found it an interesting perspective shift to see multiple partners spread across time, as opposed to the ideal of finding one and committing forever, like this. It underlines that many people are already capable of falling in love with different people throughout life, and renegotiating different rules in each relationship, being different with each partner and finding they fulfill different needs in a variety of ways. So all that stands between many monoamorous and polyamorous people is the time overlap between those relationships. Some criticisms I have: While trans people are often mentioned and very much credited for a lot of their work and pioneering many new relationship models and terms, and the book has been updated to include gendervariant identities that were missed in the first two editions of the book to make it, as the authors say, fit to as many sexualities and genders as possible, the entire book still feels very cis-normative in many parts. Especially when it's about lesbians or gay men, there is an implicit assumption that they are all cis, and rather stereotypical assumptions about how their gender is expressed, and these groups being reduced to tropes like "lesbians love longterm monogamy and consent, and gay men love being sexually confident sluts". I also find that especially in the parts about bisexuality, trans people get a lot of ungendering/third gendering done to them, where they are always their separate categories (instead of trans lesbians being included in lesbian sections) or it's like "I am bi or simply queer because I can't know what the person I'm attracted to is biologically " and I feel like this has never even been a good thing to do or say, and if you are updating the book anyway to be more inclusive, just remove that shit. Additionally, I don't care much for the more woo-woo, spiritual, hippie parts of the book, even if they can be amusing or neutral for me to read; like how we all breathe sexual energy, and that it's all around us, and that by them writing about sex and me reading it, we are having sex with each other... it's not my cup of tea personally. And I respect that the book is older, and some parts of the book now mention the internet and social media or even dating apps, but there's a whole section dedicated to how to write a personal ad to find love, and it feels very outdated. I think I could have easily skipped chapter 1 and 2, and only 3 and 4 were really relevant or getting to it. Still, I found myself wanting; while it was entertaining, it sometimes lacked depth for me (both practice and theory), and it often felt a bit too naive to me. It's written from an utopian, aspirational, free love place, in which people are innately good, and never do anything bad to upset you, they'll all understand and see your point of view, and you're capable of feeling love and appreciation for everyone. I feel incapable of coming from such a place, unfortunately, so some parts felt rather needlessly unrealistic to me. I will not like everybody, not everyone will understand me, and people can absolutely be mean, ruthless, unfair, and doing things purposefully to hurt you. I can't "love everyone" myself out of that reality. A lot of things in this book sound fine until you remember how shitty many other people's relationships are and how insecure they are, and how many, many people select the absolute worst people to be their partner, or have absolutely no healthy standards in place. I think you have to be a lot more guarded, careful and selective than the book describes. In my view, it also puts too much responsibility on you to control your emotions and endure them, versus taking them as a deserved warning signal that something is wrong, as if the latter could almost never happen. Your jealousy or envy isn't always something whack and unreasonable to endure until it goes away, or something that can just be resolved with a reassurance talk or additional 1-on-1 time together. Sometimes, you are genuinely treated in a rude way and shouldn't celebrate having "endured" that. Like, on page 152-153, Dossie describes having casually dated a man, telling him she cannot be monogamous, and then when she took him home and her best friend was there, those two just started making out while Dossie sat there staring, not knowing what to do, and in the end opting to go upstairs and read a book until the two left. This was, she writes, her first encounter of surviving jealousy. But in my view, that wouldn't even have been jealousy - just reacting to the rudeness of the other two! It was completely odd and insensitive behavior of the man and her bestie to just do that, without asking her, without involving her, or without them retreating into another space to do that, or making out a date to meet up separately. It's not about the sexual act even, it could have been playing cards while ignoring her, too. I would never celebrate being completely disregarded and ignored as a victory. If people don't give a fuck about your feelings, they should be booted from your life, not you accommodating them for it too. Never applaud yourself for enduring or even enabling disrespect! And it's not the only time in the book where they fail to come down hard on shitty behavior. They absolutely downplay cheating, despite the rest of the book being so full of the value of consent. I would just regard it as "groundbreaking at its time" (1997, then updated in 2009 and 2017) but not holding up well now, not really useful for people who are already on board with non-monogamy, and increasingly irrelevant as more books and online writing is published that is better suited now. Next up in that niche, I'll probably finally read Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino, and Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan. But not that soon. Published 25 Aug, 2026

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