GreatReads - Blog Aggregator · Phoenix Framework

The Irony of Personal Blog Longevity

I was recently cleaning up some of my old files and stumbled across posts from a free wordpress blog I’d set up for my mum and her two sisters back in 2020, when everyone was trying new projects. I called it The Three Sisters, and the idea was for them to share bits of life wisdom from their six or seven decades of experience. They ended up writing about 20 posts before abandoning it, but when I clicked the link the other day, everything was still there as I left it five years ago—neat, tidy, untouched. That got me thinking about the longevity of blogs. With paid domains and hosting, once you stop paying, everything disappears. But with free platforms—WordPress, Blogger, and the like—you sometimes stumble across an old, abandoned blog that’s still sitting there decades later, preserved without anyone lifting a finger. I regret deleting my own old (self hosted) blog. I’d worked hard on it—tweaking SEO, even ranking first on Google for some posts. But at the time, I couldn’t justify the cost of hosting or a custom domain, or having a blog at all , so evetually, three years after starting it, I deleted the whole thing . Honestly, I felt relieved in the moment—one less thing to worry about. But now I wish I’d just kept it alive—and I probably would have, if I’d started it on a free platform. I find myself wondering about this blog sometimes. I don’t keep it for any particular reason beyond simply having a place for my thoughts. But life has been busy, and while I still collect ideas, links, and drafts, I rarely find the energy to actually write. I just started a new role, and most of my days happen in front of a computer. So outside of work, I reach for physical activities—anything that involves moving my body, even something as simple as cleaning the house. Sitting down to write often feels like I’m literally breaking my back. Meanwhile, I follow dozens of blogs in my RSS feed. People who post weekly notes, updates, essays—some of them incredibly consistent. And I know I wouldn’t be able to keep up with that rhythm at this stage of my life. Recently, I took six weeks off and went on vacation with my family. It was perfectly timed, just before starting the new job. In all that time, I wrote a single post. Weeks passed without me even opening my computer. Instead, I read on my Kindle, I rested, and I felt no urge at all to write, or collect, or track anything digitally. And yet, here’s the thing: this blog costs money to exist (no matter the actual amount). Even if I step away for weeks—or months—or years - I still have to keep paying for the domain and hosting if I want it to live. That feels incredibly wasteful when I’m not writing, and yet letting it disappear feels worse. I’ve been there before—deleting a blog I’d worked hard on, one that had even gained some traction—and I regretted it. If I had started it as something like aroomofmyown.wordpress.com , it would be sitting there quietly, waiting for me, no matter how long I stayed away. That’s the irony: the free version offers permanence, while the paid one demands constant justification… and any lapse is unforgiving.

Writing

0 views

A Room of My Own 3 months ago

Social Media Still Calls to Me—But I’m Not Answering

I’m currently on vacation, with time on my hands, and I’m with my sister—an enthusiastic Instagram user. We’ve been taking a lot of pictures together, and of course, she wants to tag me in them. I do have an Instagram account that I once sort of linked to this blog, but then decided not to. Still, I use it to open links people send me or to look things up. I follow maybe 10 accounts, max. But honestly, I barely check it—maybe once every few weeks, or when something randomly pops up. But now, because I’m on vacation, I’ve been on it a lot more. I shared the account with my sister so she can tag me in her posts. It’s a tiny, barely-alive account with exactly two followers—my sister and my niece. Scrolling through her profile, full of happy, shiny moments, I felt a familiar pull. It made me miss my old Instagram account—the one I had since 2011 and deleted completely a few years ago. Not just deactivated, but fully deleted. Every now and then, I feel a pang of regret over that. That account was like a mini time capsule of my child growing up. It was private, friends-only. People I knew in real life. But it got overwhelming. The endless scrolling, liking, checking—just like what happened to me on Facebook. At the time, I didn’t regret deleting it. But sometimes I do miss it. That feeling came back on this trip. But even now, with just two followers and following ten people, I can see the algorithm slowly reeling me in again. Suggested posts, targeted content based on what I pause to look at. It’s a slippery slope. I don’t know how people manage their lives around social media. To me it is addictive. I can’t just control it (believe me, I tried). I am not sure anyone can, but it is true that some people don’t see it as a huge time waster and they don’t overthink it. They just scroll. I still have my Facebook account—from the early days—and I haven’t deleted it. Mostly because I worked internationally for many years, and I’ve got over 600 contacts there (I culled and cleaned for years, attempting to control my feed)—people I’ve met and worked with. Messenger is handy, and yes, I know I could delete Facebook and keep Messenger, but sometimes I like to post something small. Just to say hi. To remind people I still exist. But I haven’t posted personal life updates in years. Then the other day, I did. It was a picture of my former boss, now retired, who flew in from Mexico to visit me and my husband on vacation in my home country (Bosnia). We all used to work together. We played dress-up in Dubrovnik (aka King’s Landing for Game of Thrones fans), and I posted a picture. And right after that, people started messaging me—likely reminded I’m still around—and asking what I’ve been up to. And I’m sitting there thinking, Well, if you were really wondering, you could have messaged me. I’m right here. That’s exactly what I do now—if I wonder about someone, I message them. I don’t have most people’s email addresses or phone numbers anyway, but Messenger works. And in doing that—actually reaching out—I’ve rekindled a few friendships. Nothing deep or ongoing, but short exchanges, a few messages here and there. And that feels real. So there I was this morning, lying in my hotel room, looking at my sister’s reels, wondering Should I bring back Instagram? And immediately: Why? Day One has been an absolute godsend for that itch. I can still store my photos. I can still write about what they meant to me, what I (really) felt. I can relive memories in ways that actually matter to me. And importantly—it still makes me want to take pictures. I’ve seen so many people say they’ve stopped taking photos altogether because they have nowhere to put them. I kind of get that. I see how much time my sister spends getting the perfect shot because the photo is going to go somewhere, and so it has to be good. I like beautiful pictures too. But mine usually go in our digital family photo albums—the ones I try to put together every year—or into Day One, where they resurface over time. But I don’t spend nearly as much time trying to get the perfect photo anymore. This whole Instagram temptation made me pause. What would I even do with a new account? Invite all my friends again? Start posting again? I already have Facebook, and if I really want to reach someone, I can message them. Since stepping away from social media, I’ve actually built stronger, more intentional connections. I’ve got standing catch-ups now—actual, monthly or so one-on-one chats with people I care about. And funnily enough, I never had that while I was active on social media. Back then, we all just posted updates and scrolled through each other’s feeds. It felt like we were in touch, but we weren’t really. There wasn’t space for real conversations. And those real conversations? They go deeper. They’re about things we’d never post publicly. We plan things, we meet up, we talk. It’s true what they say—we can really only maintain a few close relationships. Not hundreds. Now that I’ve moved countries and had to form new friendships, I find most of the people I see in real life aren’t even on my social media. And sure, sometimes I think, Oh, it would be nice to post a picture and have them see me in that setting - but I resist the temptation. I get these pangs, especially on vacation—when I’ve got space to think or time to tinker with things. But I try to pause. Like this morning, sitting here by the sea, thinking, No, I don’t need to show this to anyone. But I did want to flesh it out in a blog post rather than a journal entry. Which brings me to another thought—I really wish this blog had comments. Every now and then, I toy with the idea of going back to WordPress, just for the comments plugin. This current platform (Pika) doesn’t have one. I’ve had people reach out by email in response to my posts—and that’s been lovely. But I miss the public conversations that can happen right on a blog. On many of the blogs I follow, I learn just as much from the comments as from the original post. People responding, sharing their takes, offering advice, reflecting. Sharing interests that nobody in my real life shares. It becomes a little community. And sure, responding to emails one-on-one is great, but it’s time-consuming. And we can’t share it, except like this. But it’s still one-sided. I hope Pika brings in comments soon—or at least makes them optional. I’d turn them on in a heartbeat. I don’t want to open another social media account—I even tried Mastodon briefly—but no can’t bring myself to use it. Because every time I dabble in that world, it brings me right back to this—this Instagram spiral. This black hole of time and energy. And as I get older, I’m just more aware of how precious time really is.

Media

0 views

A Room of My Own 5 months ago

Bear Web Beta: Finally, My Notes Anywhere

Something happened the other day that made me really weirdly happy. I opened my email first thing in the morning and saw that I’d I'd been accepted into the Bear web private beta. I was so excited. I wanted to tell someone right away. But then I realized t here’s no one in my day-to-day life who would get why this mattered. I guess that’s what this space is for. When I first decided to go all in on Bear , I knew it came with limitations. It’s Apple-only, which I accepted because no other app felt as good to use on my phone. The writing experience is clean, beautiful, and lightweight in a way nothing else really manages. I moved everything over from Obsidian, and it was nice to have constant access to my notes—to review them, trim what no longer made sense, and actually use them. But the big limitation: no web version. And that’s huge for me. At work, I can’t download apps on my work device. I’m in the Microsoft 365 world where OneNote is the note-taking tool of choice. OneNote is fine for work stuff (it just seamlessly integrates with everything at work), but I’d never use it for personal notes—mainly because you can’t really export anything properly and folder, folders, folders aka notebooks (tagging in Bear seems like such an elegant solution to note duplication). So for notes, it’s been Bear all the way—but not really for writing, much as I’d love to use it more. I spend most of my time in Windows. So Notion is still very much a thing for me for writing and learning. Anyway, before I went all in on Bear, I saw they were developing a web version and calling for beta testers. I signed up and forgot about it. People on the Bear forums have been asking about it constantly, and rightly so—cross-platform access is a deal-breaker for many. I’d never go fully Apple-only. Windows still does some things better, and Apple’s workarounds can be infuriating. But nothing beats the feel of writing on my (2018) MacBook Air. It just feels right. So now, finally, I have access to Bear on the web. I’m just thrilled to be able to access my notes outside of the Apple bubble. We were asked not to talk about the web app itself in detail, so I won’t. But I had to say something —because this little corner of the internet is where people might understand why it matters. So yeah. Yay, I did it.

Writing

Web Development

Programming

0 views

A Room of My Own 5 months ago

Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy — Or Does It?

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life.” – attributed to Theodore Roosevelt I had a conversation with my husband the other day about this idea that most of us seem to carry — the belief that whatever is truly worthwhile should come through struggle. Hard work leads to success. A good relationship requires effort. A job is only valuable if you had to fight for it. Somewhere along the way, we absorbed the idea that struggle is the price of anything meaningful—like the quote above. But that just doesn’t resonate with me anymore. I’m not even sure when we first internalize this belief. But I see it playing out in subtle ways. I asked my teenage son, who’s 15, what he believes about success. His answer was: hard work. He already has this idea that a good degree or a successful career will only come through long hours of studying and grinding. And I think we — as a society, as parents — have passed this belief down to our kids without even realizing it. It’s not that it’s entirely wrong, but the true tragedy of it is that it makes not appreicate, sometimes not even notice (until we lose it) anything that comes easily. I’ve had jobs that came to me easily, and I never fully appreciated them. My first job was literally “given” to me — a well-paid, stable position — because I was in the right place at the right time. And yet, I never valued it the way I might have if I had struggled to land it. Then another job came along, and another. And instead of being grateful, I found myself focusing on the flaws: what wasn’t working, what I was missing, how it could be better. Because surely, it must only go better from here. It’s only when I left those jobs that I started to appreciate what I had. At the time, I was convinced I could do better — that something even better was just around the corner because it had all come so easily. Meanwhile, the people who had worked hard to get where I was seemed to understand they had a good thing going. Derren Brown writes in Happy that “we should train ourselves — as and when we remember — to feel satisfied with what comes more easily.” On a more new agey note - Esther Hicks talks about in Money, and the Law of Attraction — that the universe tends to reflect our beliefs back to us. If you believe something is hard, it will feel hard. If you believe it’s easy, you’ll experience more ease. But most of us are so attached to the idea that effort equals value, we resist accepting anything that comes without struggle. After all, aren’t we taught not to spoil our kids—because when they get everything without effort, they tend to take it for granted? Even creativity gets tangled up in this. We distrust joy and ease, as if they’re signs we’re not doing it right. And yet, as Brown points out, the key to a more satisfying life might be to stop chasing struggle and start finding contentment in the things that come naturally and easily. I think the real danger of this mindset is that it makes us blind to the good things we already have. It reminds me of the hadith: "Take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age; your health before your sickness; your wealth before your poverty; your free time before your workload; and your life before your death." — Prophet Muhammad We’d be wise to remember that. I know there were many times in my life when I didn’t.

Career

0 views

A Room of My Own 5 months ago

The Journal Project I Can’t Quit

In the past few months, I haven’t really had much time for blogging. There were so many moments when an idea struck me and I thought, Oh, this would make such a good blog post . I’d jot down a few notes in my Pika page drafts, but I never had the time to do the post justice. Work was/is intense—long days, back-to-back virtual meetings, eight hours or more just sitting down. Normally I’d squeeze in a walk or at least move around more during the day, but these projects had me glued to my chair—to the detriment of my lower back. So, by the time I got home, I had no energy left for writing—especially not on a computer. Thankfully, journaling survived. I discovered a way to do 'verbal' journaling with Otter.ai , and it’s been a game changer. I record voice notes, then clean them up with ChatGPT—for grammar or to fix the occasional weird transcription—and paste the final version into Day One. That’s how I’ve been keeping up… and keeping my sanity. I’d sometimes literally journal my day while driving home from work, just talking into the app like I would to a friend. It’s not the same as writing, but it’s strangely therapeutic. I leave those entries as stream-of-consciousness, just as they are. Which brings me to what I actually wanted to blog about: all the energy I did have went into consolidating my Day One journal. It’s turned into this ongoing project I feel vaguely guilty about, so much so that I’m going to copy one of Otter.ai ’s “summary” snippets here because it made me laugh. If you’ve used Otter (and probably any other similar app), you’ll know it auto-generates a list of key points from each recording—and one of mine boiled down to how guilty I feel about spending so much time doing this. But the truth is, I’m absolutely compelled. (Otter. ai. summary excerpt): Obsession with Organizing Notes • Speaker 1 expresses a compulsion to sort out diary entries, despite acknowledging it as a waste of time. • Speaker 1 mentions the desire to have all entries in one place and use the "on this day" feature to look back on past entries. • Speaker 1 considers taking pictures of paper diary entries to complete a comprehensive record of their life in the app. • Speaker 1 reflects on the impracticality and potential risks of this project, despite its appeal. As I wrote in this post and this post , I never really used Day One the way it was intended. I tried to use it for photobook printing instead of journaling. But after reading a bunch of posts on journaling Robert Breen’s blog , something clicked for me. So much of it resonated. I realized Day One was finally it for me—the journaling app I’d use, separate from personal knowledge management or any other note-taking tools. I craved real consolidation: daily notes, paper journal entries, mementos—all in one place. And then, slowly, backtracking through my digital trail to pull everything together. So that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve been using Evernote since 2011, all the way through to 2021, and for years I used it as a kind of daily memory-keeping dump—emails, photos, audio files, ticket stubs, scanned pamphlets—anything and everything that came my way. Before I went digital, I used to paste these things into my physical journals. My old journals are stuffed full of paper mementos, random quotes, cutouts, all sorts of things. They were always a kind of messy but precious commonplace book. Once I started using Evernote, I created notebooks for mementos, quotes, wisdom, and all sorts of stuff. But for some reason, it never occurred to me to use Day One for any of that. Now that I’ve settled into journaling more regularly in Day One, I decided to pull those Evernote entries in. Most of them were backed up as and HTML files in Dropbox, and I never really looked at them—until now. I discovered I could import files into Apple Notes. This was huge for me because there aren’t many easy ways to do that (unless you’re into coding or using complex workarounds, some of which are floating around the internet). So what I did was import them year by year into Apple Notes. From there, I manually sent entries into Day One. Some of them carried over the correct date, but others didn’t, so I had to adjust those manually. That’s when I realized how important it is to include the date in your entries. Don’t rely on the system’s metadata—just write the date somewhere in your entry. I’d been doing that in Evernote anyway, probably because, for a long time, I used to journal with Awesome Note on my phone (a really awesome little app, if it had a desktop or web version, I think I’d still use it), which synced to Evernote and encouraged date stamping. That little habit ended up being incredibly helpful, since I could just copy the date over to Day One even when the system didn’t preserve it. Yes, it takes time. But it feels worth it. Well… at least I think so. Some of my entries go all the way back to 2011, and I even have digital notes from before then (mainly in Word documents). My plan is to eventually consolidate everything, even go into my email archives and pull out the ones I want to keep—emails that matter to me, that I want to remember—and send them into Day One, adjusting the dates as needed. And then, one day, I’ll go through my physical journals. I won’t transcribe them—it would take too long, and most of them aren’t even in English—but I might take photos of selected pages and add those (I do that now when I journal on paper because I do that to), maybe not every entry, but enough to get a sense of the years. I’ve got dozens of those journals, starting from childhood. It’s a massive project. And yes, as that Otter summary noted, I do question the time I spend on it —especially when I’m already juggling work, kids, life. But I try (not always successfully) to limit myself to 20–30 minutes a day. Because honestly, I could spend hours on this and not even notice the time passing. That’s how I know it’s something I love. And yes, it’s a hobby most people wouldn’t bother with. I know that. It’s not urgent, it’s not high priority, it’s not even something I can justify putting on my main to-do list. It lives on what I call my “may or may not do —but probably will” list. But it has been fun. I’m nearly done—just two more years of entries to finish. Some years had more (like the year my daughter was born, which had over 300 entries), and some had way less. I didn’t bring everything over—some things just didn’t feel important anymore—but most of it made the cut. So yes, I completely neglected blogging during this period. But maybe this post is helpful to someone else who’s got their entries stuck in Evernote. This is a manual workaround, but it’s not as painful as it sounds—and kind of rewarding, too. It’s amazing how fast time flies. Nothing stays the same. And going through all those old entries has been surprisingly fun. It even turned into a little family activity. As I scrolled through, I’d share things with my kids and husband. We’d laugh, remember stuff. There’s still so much I want to do, but for now, it all lives in that “someday” list. This isn’t something I can prioritize—nor should I, honestly, with everything else on my plate—but I still sneak in bits of it during breaks or while lying down on the couch with my laptop. Or when the iCloud sync behaves, I can even do it from my phone, which is great. It’s basically: Apple Notes → Share → Day One → Save (and check the date). I don’t go overboard with organizing—unless something’s obvious, like a video that needs tagging—but I mostly rely on the 'On This Day' feature to help me sort entries over time, just a few a day. I delete unnecessary photos, add context where needed (and always date any additions), tag things properly, and that’s it. I figure I’ve got a year to get it all tidied up. And I keep adding more… And more. RELATED POSTS: The Art of Organizing (Things That Don’t Need to Be Organized) Why Did I Wait So Long to Start Using Day One? A Journey Through Journaling, Tracking and Memories with Day One

HTML

Writing

0 views

A Room of My Own 7 months ago

Letting Go of the Fear of Losing Data

A few days ago, I received an email from a reader 1 about relying on digital tools and the continuity of the various digital tools I use. I thought it was worth turning into a blog post. They asked whether I worry about locking my data into proprietary platforms—the very ones I often mention in my posts. The short answer—I used to worry a lot. But not anymore. Not really. RELATED: A Digital Workflow to Run My Life (updated, Mar 2025) Back when I was a heavy Evernote user—starting in 2011, when Evernote was the note-taking app—I obsessed over the fact that my data was essentially trapped. You could only export it as HTML or Evernote’s own format (ENEX), neither of which felt reassuring. I backed everything up meticulously, exporting both formats regularly and storing them in external hard drives (or more recently Dropbox). I still have those old Evernote files, untouched but safely archived. Even though I haven’t been a paying user for years, my data—thousands of notes and clipped webpages—is still there in Evernote and accessible to me. (These days, I’m actually in the process of moving some of that content into Day One, which I now use for journaling. ) This anxiety over data portability is also why I initially hesitated with Notion . I love Notion, but in its early days, exporting everything was a hassle. You needed a premium plan to export pages with subpages, and for a long time, bulk exports weren’t even possible. That’s why I experimented with Obsidian —I liked that it was built around plain-text markdown files that, apparently, I could access “forever”. But ultimately, I didn’t love how Obsidian handled images and attachments, and I hated its mobile experience. Also, not having a web app meant I couldn’t access my notes easily at work. Over time, though, I realized I don’t actually need to obsess over data loss. Or even data portability for that matter. Instead of fixating on data longevity, I focus on how and why of my data. That’s why I switched to Bear —it just works for me. I love how accessible my notes are, how clean everything looks, and how seamless the mobile experience is. Now that Bear is beta testing a web app, I’m even considering what other app I can let go of in favor of simplification. (It will most likely be Notion , although I still appreciate Notion for structured learning—using toggles and creating my own study guides). In short, my approach to tools has shifted. I created some rules for myself. And wrote them down. And for most of them, I can say I’ve been successful in following them since it’s something I truly care about—everything I do is the amount of life I exchange for it. And the older I get, the more aware I become. My workflow rules Limit the amount of information I take in and process. - check Just because I can capture everything doesn’t mean I should (I used to in Evernote, but not anymore). - check Don’t rush to save every interesting idea ; if it’s truly important, it’ll come back to me. - check (I am better than I used to be). Be selective about what I consume, especially online. - check, check! Avoid organizing and exploring new tools - (hmmm - I am not very successful here) Focus on capturing my own thoughts and ideas and summarizing concepts in my own words. - check, check Don’t save everything—let things go. - check Write, write, write (don’t just consume - create) - check REMEMBER: You don’t have to run around after everything or try every new thing… I want every tool I use to serve a clear purpose. I don’t worry about data. I export and back up whatever I can in whatever format I can (most tools allow some usable format) , and I dump all of that into a folder in Dropbox (and on an external hard drive) and continue enjoying the tool. But if, years or decades from now, any of it becomes obsolete or apps like Day One shut down, I’ll deal with it then. And I will probably still be able to do something with, for example, the JSON files I exported from Day One. And if not… well, so be it. At the very least, I’ll have a PDF or two to remind me that I was once young(er). The truth is, in 30 years ( OMG, yes, thirty ), I’ve never actually lost anything significant, despite all my backups and precautions. And if I ever do, I’ll probably find a way to recover it. What matters most is that I enjoy the process of capturing my thoughts and the data I need. I want to believe that all of it is adding value to my life and exponentially growing my first brain (as opposed to, you know, my second brain). For example, with habit trackers—I use an app I bought years ago that only works on my iPhone. Every now and then, I take a screenshot of my streaks and upload it to Day One . I don’t try to save every detail beyond that. I’ve also learned the art of deletion—I no longer save completed tasks, for example. (Yes, I used to save all my “dones”.) In Trello, where I keep my master to-do list, I delete tasks once they’re done. That helps me avoid turning everything into some kind of treasure trove. Sometimes, I start using an app only to realize it takes too much time, that I tinker with it too much, or that it duplicates what another app already does. When that happens, I let go of both the app and its data. I delete, I use, and I enjoy. And I still love discovering new apps and moving my data around, hoping to find that magical product that will help me do something just a little better. I don’t think that will ever change—and maybe that’s a good thing. We can’t all focus only on the big picture. Some of us need to care about the details, too. Well… the details we enjoy. I always love getting emails—it’s one of the best parts of blogging. Over the past few months, I’ve built a few genuine connections through these back-and-forth exchanges. But I do think it would be even better if Pika had a commenting feature. I believe it’s in the works. It would be nice to have a space for exchanging opinions with people who care about the same things I do. Limit the amount of information I take in and process. - check Just because I can capture everything doesn’t mean I should (I used to in Evernote, but not anymore). - check Don’t rush to save every interesting idea ; if it’s truly important, it’ll come back to me. - check (I am better than I used to be). Be selective about what I consume, especially online. - check, check! Avoid organizing and exploring new tools - (hmmm - I am not very successful here) Focus on capturing my own thoughts and ideas and summarizing concepts in my own words. - check, check Don’t save everything—let things go. - check Write, write, write (don’t just consume - create) - check I always love getting emails—it’s one of the best parts of blogging. Over the past few months, I’ve built a few genuine connections through these back-and-forth exchanges. But I do think it would be even better if Pika had a commenting feature. I believe it’s in the works. It would be nice to have a space for exchanging opinions with people who care about the same things I do.

Data

JSON

HTML

0 views

A Room of My Own 7 months ago

My App Defaults (Mar 2025 Edition)

Some things have changed since I first shared my app defaults. I’ve cut back on the number of apps I use and simplified my setup. Since I have a post coming up about the fear of losing data in proprietary apps, it feels like a good time for an update. RSS Feed: Switched to Feeder instead of Readwise Reader. I like the Feeder’s Chrome widget, and the app has a much cleaner look overall. Plus, it’s free. Notes: Using Bear, and I hope to eventually replace all my note-taking apps (Apple Notes, Notion) with it once the web app is publicly released. I do enjoy Notion for structured/academic learning, so I’m not sure if Bear will be an adequate replacement—but I’ll give it a try. Obsidian: I stopped using it completely. I wrote about that in this post. Movie Discovery/Tracking: I’m now tracking movies in Day One. Or rather, I journal about them. I love seeing movies and shows I’ve watched pop up in my “On This Day” feed. Plus, when I watch something, I now take time to research the film, note interesting details, and record who I watched it with and what I thought about it. Calorie Tracker: Added a calorie tracking app. I forgot to mention it last time, even though I use it daily. (Calorie tracking is the only way I know to stay slim in middle age!) Note: My list only includes apps for personal use; work is a whole different story. 📧 Mail service: Yahoo (main), Gmail (blogging, apps, services) 📬 Mail client: Apple Mail (Mac and iPhone), web on PC 📇 Contacts: Apple Contacts, Yahoo Mail contacts 💬 Chat: SMS, WhatsApp, Viber, Facebook Messenger 📆 Calendar: Google Calendar ✅ Tasks/To Do: Trello ☁️ Cloud storage: Dropbox 🌅 Photo library: Dropbox 🔐 Passwords: Dropbox Passwords 🌐 Web browser: Chrome on PC and Mac, Safari on iPhone 📰 RSS service: Feeder 📚Read it Later: Readwise Reader 📜 Journal: Day One 📝 Notes: Apple Notes (personal admin notes I refer to frequently) 📝 PKM Notes: Bear 📔 Learning: Notion 🖊️ Long form Writing: Dabble Writer 🖼️ Screenshots: Lightshot 🎞️ Video editing: VLLO on my iPhone 🗺 Maps: Google maps 🌤️ Weather: Apple Weather 🎙️ Podcasts: Spotify 🎶 Music: Spotify 💬 Transcriptions: Otter.ai 📚 eBooks: Kindle 📚 Books disovery/tracking: Goodreads 💁🏻‍♂️ Social: Linkedin 🛒 Shopping List: Google Keep (shared with family) 📢 Blog: Pika 🧘🏻‍♀️Workouts: DownDog 🍔 Calorie Tracker: LoseIt 🔢 Habit Tracker: Good Habits 👗 Clothes App: Closet+ RSS Feed: Switched to Feeder instead of Readwise Reader. I like the Feeder’s Chrome widget, and the app has a much cleaner look overall. Plus, it’s free. Notes: Using Bear, and I hope to eventually replace all my note-taking apps (Apple Notes, Notion) with it once the web app is publicly released. I do enjoy Notion for structured/academic learning, so I’m not sure if Bear will be an adequate replacement—but I’ll give it a try. Obsidian: I stopped using it completely. I wrote about that in this post. Movie Discovery/Tracking: I’m now tracking movies in Day One. Or rather, I journal about them. I love seeing movies and shows I’ve watched pop up in my “On This Day” feed. Plus, when I watch something, I now take time to research the film, note interesting details, and record who I watched it with and what I thought about it. Calorie Tracker: Added a calorie tracking app. I forgot to mention it last time, even though I use it daily. (Calorie tracking is the only way I know to stay slim in middle age!) 📧 Mail service: Yahoo (main), Gmail (blogging, apps, services) 📬 Mail client: Apple Mail (Mac and iPhone), web on PC 📇 Contacts: Apple Contacts, Yahoo Mail contacts 💬 Chat: SMS, WhatsApp, Viber, Facebook Messenger 📆 Calendar: Google Calendar ✅ Tasks/To Do: Trello ☁️ Cloud storage: Dropbox 🌅 Photo library: Dropbox 🔐 Passwords: Dropbox Passwords 🌐 Web browser: Chrome on PC and Mac, Safari on iPhone 📰 RSS service: Feeder 📚Read it Later: Readwise Reader 📜 Journal: Day One 📝 Notes: Apple Notes (personal admin notes I refer to frequently) 📝 PKM Notes: Bear 📔 Learning: Notion 🖊️ Long form Writing: Dabble Writer 🖼️ Screenshots: Lightshot 🎞️ Video editing: VLLO on my iPhone 🗺 Maps: Google maps 🌤️ Weather: Apple Weather 🎙️ Podcasts: Spotify 🎶 Music: Spotify 💬 Transcriptions: Otter.ai 📚 eBooks: Kindle 📚 Books disovery/tracking: Goodreads 💁🏻‍♂️ Social: Linkedin 🛒 Shopping List: Google Keep (shared with family) 📢 Blog: Pika 🧘🏻‍♀️Workouts: DownDog 🍔 Calorie Tracker: LoseIt 🔢 Habit Tracker: Good Habits 👗 Clothes App: Closet+

Entertainment

Programming

0 views

A Room of My Own 7 months ago

Take a Walk in Nature, Bring Your Notebook

Our nature trips are self-love retreats in themselves. Essentially, that’s why we do it—returning to nature for self-love, to feel good, and to deepen our connection with the Earth and ourselves. But what if we could take that experience even further? Or every time, if we are lucky enough to be able to carve out that time for ourselves. So, here is a question: when you pack for your hiking trip, is a notebook, or maybe a journal among your essentials? And I am not talking about a note-taking app on your phone, but an old fashioned, real deal notebook. Preferably something like a composition notebook . You know the kind, sturdy and indestructible, but still as inviting as any fancy journal. Pick it up on and bring it along. And be ready to jot down your thoughts and observations on your hike or walk. Being out in nature has long been a tool for many—if not most—authors to clear their minds, spark creativity, welcome new ideas, and reflect on the issues of the day. It is in itself a form of meditation, connecting with nature in order to think. Or in order to not think. They walked, some of them hiked and they journaled. Henry David Thoreau published an essay and a series of lectures on the topic called.. “Walking” . “I wish to speak a word for Nature, for absolute freedom and wildness, as contrasted with a freedom and culture merely civil, -to regard man as an inhabitant, or a part and parcel of Nature, rather than a member of society.” “Moreover, you must walk like a camel, which is said to be the only beast which ruminates when walking.” Thoreau also points out that when a traveller asked Woodworth’s servant to show him his study, she answered, “Here is his library, but his study is out of doors.” Writers often chase what Haruku Murakami famously called the void, which he described in his superb memoir ‘What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. ’ He believed that running and the solitary time that comes with it had an enormous influence on his writing career. A study from Stanford University showed that when people tackled mental tasks requiring imagination, the act of walking led to more creative thinking than sitting . But we don’t need a study to know that walking itself inspires and clears the mind, we just may want to be ready to capture the results. And maybe back then, they could commit those thoughts to memory, but I feel like we need to write them down—otherwise, poof , they’re gone. Some people are really good at just sitting solitary and working through the issues on their minds. Some need a tool. Like a notebook! I have spent most of my life journaling and recording in one form or another. I wrote about my writing life here. I have captured dialogues, memories, and descriptions—essentially, much of my world in detail. I kept my ‘to-do’ lists, everything, all in that one notebook. Now, I do most of it in an app , but I always have a notebook going. And where better to fill these pages than while you are boiling your first cup of coffee, in front of a tent, solitary, camping. Or while taking a break on your next hike. Remember the quote by Joan Didion: “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.” I believe that most of us are those people. We live in a busy world, flooded by information. I once did a four-hour silent walking retreat, surrounded by a group of 30 people, and it was completely doable. It takes some getting used to, but who knows—your walking companion might be open to a meditative self-love walk too. A retreat for both of your minds. You don’t have to focus on thinking—just let yourself be in the moment. That feeling of freedom in nature, where there’s nowhere to be and nothing to do, is something we’ve all experienced. With that mindset, you might find clarity, inspiration, or simply a sense of peace. And when you sit down to write, who knows where it might take you? You may end up: Writing a “To Not Do” List; Reaffirming your values in writing; Jotting down Your Secrets of Adulthood Reexamining your FOMO (I have it, you probably have it) Analyzing Your Strengths or Self Improvement Areas Writing down your Life Vision. Using present tense. That list may not be the same if you write it in your office after a busy day. The fresh air, movement, and quiet of nature can bring a different kind of clarity. Writing a “To Not Do” List; Reaffirming your values in writing; Jotting down Your Secrets of Adulthood Reexamining your FOMO (I have it, you probably have it) Analyzing Your Strengths or Self Improvement Areas Writing down your Life Vision. Using present tense.

Books

Writing

0 views

A Room of My Own 7 months ago

The Eisenhower Matrix I Forgot About (But Still Followed)

This popped up in my Day One memories today—a screenshot of an Eisenhower Matrix I once wrote on my iPad. Naturally, I saved it to Day One and forgot about it. But even though I forgot, writing it down must have planted it somewhere in my mind. The priorities in the top two squares? All completed. I had written down a focus on learning, and——I followed through. I just completed the final course for my postgraduate degree, which I started back in 2023. Every learning goal I had set for myself is now done. When I made this matrix, I remember feeling bloated, fat, exhausted. Now I have a regular yoga practice. I’ve lost over eight kilograms, which is huge—especially because I’m back to my pre-first-baby weight (which was 16 years ago!). And I did this at 47, in perimenopause. I also wanted for my focus at work to be on my job, and at home my kids—which remains true and that should really be in the first quadrant, but at the time it was urgent. This column stayed delegated, exactly as it should. A clean house is important—but not important that I be the one to do it. I love having a professional cleaner come in twice a month, and honestly, there are plenty of other things I’d give up before letting go of that! This is where I still get stuck. The so-called "don't do" column still tempts me. I keep wanting to do things that don’t actually need to be done. In fact, I’ve written several blog posts about my ongoing struggles with this exact issue. Technically, in the original Eisenhower Matrix, this quadrant is labeled “waste.” But I like the template I used—it called it "Do Later." That feels more forgiving. I may need to reconsider, though. If you’re curious about the Eisenhower Matrix, this is where I first encountered it.

Career

0 views

A Room of My Own 7 months ago

Write the Book You Want to Read

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” Toni Morrison I was skimming Slow Productivity on Spotify while walking the other day. One example the author used was Jane Austen’s writing process—how she found pockets of time to write, often without telling anyone, just scribbling away in her sitting room. When I first encountered that anecdote—I think it was in Mason Currey’s Daily Rituals: How Artists Work - I remember thinking, I can relate to that. But when people use this as an example of productivity—of squeezing writing into every spare moment as proof that being busy isn’t an excuse—I have to wonder if they’ve ever actually written a book they wanted to read. Because I have, and I did exactly that for years. Cal Newport disputes this idea though. He argues that Austen produced her best work during two periods when she had fewer household responsibilities and social commitments. The first was in 1796, after her family shut down the boys' school they had been running at home which allowed her to write. Her second prolific period came in 1800 when the Austens withdrew from the social life of Chawton. As her biographer Claire Tomalin notes, with "no dances and few dinners," they focused more on their private pursuits, giving Austen the time and space to write. But as much as Newport wants to make a novel point, it doesn’t seem all that impossible to me that she actually wrote her novels in those spare pockets of time in her living room when she was very busy—that they were her escape from reality—and that this dedicated time she had in 1796 and 1800 was more about editing rather than writing itself, a phase that required sustained focus and effort. It’s the story of J.K. Rowling—writing Harry Potter in bits and pieces, often in difficult circumstances. Over several years, she wrote whenever she could, often in cafes while her baby daughter slept in a stroller. As a single mother on government assistance, struggling financially, she filled notebooks with longhand drafts. Living in Harry Potter’s world obviously was her escape. And while she may have hoped for success, I doubt that was her focus while she was writing . She simply wrote the book she loved. It’s interesting how many people see writing as a chore. They say things like, "If Jane Austen could do it, surely you can wake up early and write for an hour before work." But in my experience, if you truly want to write, you will write. It’s like reading. My sister, who isn’t much of a reader and often finds novels a chore, once noticed that anytime I had a spare moment—waiting for one of my children, standing in line, sitting in the car—I’d pull out my Kindle. She said, “ Well, that’s how you read so many books.” Of course—because I want to. It’s not a task or obligation. It’s something I love. Otherwise, I would have to put it on my habit tracker. Honestly, reading and writing never go on my habit tracker. But walking 7000+ steps a day does. I filled dozens of notebooks with my own writing before I ever switched to typing on a laptop (well, I was writing before we even had laptops). I wrote purely for the joy of it, getting lost in the worlds I was creating. I wrote about my writing life in My Writing Life . Eventually, I wrote the book I wanted to read. I was in control of the characters, their destinies, everything. At first, it was just notebooks filled with scattered scenes. But eventually, Scrivener entered my life, and I edited those thousands of words down to about 80,000. But while that final manuscript was 80,000 words, I had written another three books’ worth of scenes along the way—just because I enjoyed it. It was never a chore. I did exactly what Austen did—writing whenever I had time. In bed, after school, in the school library, on lunch breaks at work. I always carried a notebook. I wrote through difficult moments, through heartbreak, through challenges. It was my escape. Yes, writing is a job, but at its heart, it has to be something you genuinely want to do. As Meg Cabot puts it : “Write the kind of story you would like to read. People will give you all sorts of advice about writing, but if you’re not enjoying it, no one else will either.” After all, how else can you create something that readers will actually want to read? Create the world you want to create—because you want to be there (well, on some level at least, depending on the world). Whether anyone will ever see it, whether it will get published, whether it will be "successful" —none of that really matters if you love the process. And I loved the process. In case anyone’s wondering, I did send my novel for assessment. The editor gave great feedback and advice, especially on connecting scenes and strengthening the secondary storyline. Now, I’m just waiting for some time without obligations to focus on my edits. I could be working on them right now instead of writing this, I guess, but the book is written. At this stage, editing feels like a chore. And it’s not going to happen until there’s nothing else more interesting left for me to do.

Books

Home Is Meant to Serve You: How I Learned to Love My Home

For years, I’ve had this pattern, and it wasn’t until recently that I truly recognized it. It started when we were renting and living internationally. Each time we moved into a new place, I would almost immediately start looking at what else was out there—what might be better. It wasn’t something I fully realized until about a year ago when I met a woman with a lovely house. She admitted she was house hunting again because she wanted something “better.” She listed all the reasons she wasn’t satisfied with her current home. From my perspective, her house seemed perfect. But then it hit me—that’s exactly what I had been doing for years. When we lived in Kuwait, we had an incredible seaside apartment. It was huge, with an en suite bedroom, two additional bedrooms, multiple bathrooms, a massive living room, and an unobstructed sea view. The building had everything: a swimming pool, 24/7 guards, and a play area for the kids. By any standard, it was an amazing place to live. And yet, I couldn’t stop looking. I visited other apartments, convinced myself we needed to change neighborhoods, and spent so much time thinking about what might be better. Looking back, I realize that while I did enjoy that apartment, I didn’t fully appreciate it because I was always focused on the next thing. Now that we’ve settled in New Zealand and own our house—a home we’ve fully renovated and made our own—you’d think I’d have learned. Our house is beautiful, functional, and everything we need. But I still catch myself browsing open homes, scrolling through listings, and imagining something “better.” The realization has been a tough one: There will always be a “better” house. But a home isn’t meant to be an endless pursuit. It’s meant to serve me, my family, and our life together. It’s not the end goal—it’s the backdrop to our memories and day-to-day living. Several months ago, I posted about this on Reddit, looking for advice. How do I just love my house and stop looking at others This is really silly, but while I like my house, I always keep an eye on what’s for sale in my town, and I always see “better” homes. We fully renovated our old house, and it is nice, warm, cozy, and probably big enough for my family of 4 and an occasional guest. But I can’t help but think that I would love a bigger guest room, a walk-in wardrobe, a yoga room, a sauna… Honestly, I know deep down I don’t need all that, but how do I stop wanting more in a house. Also, recently I heard that my friend’s son moved back in with her with his girlfriend, and I was like, “Would there be enough space for my son to do that?” (he is 12) Crazy, I know! But I can’t help but think I should have more—a bigger house, less garden… My husband is exasperated with my purging and decluttering efforts (We don’t have too much stuff, but I always feel like there could be less still) and my moaning about wanting more space… There were some great comments from people who can relate. Some about being overprivileged, having too much time on my hands, and needing to volunteer and help others. My favorite was probably this: What you have is called overprivilege. One thing that many people in your situation do is pay a live-in shaman to life coach them on mindfulness and post pictures of themselves eating chia seeds in their underwear on Instagram until they achieve total fulfillment. Here are some more, excerpted. After 15+ years of paying my mortgage, I like to compare my payment and interest rate with what it would be if I was buying today. I get over the house envy pretty quick that way! I think it’s human nature. “The grass is greener in the other side” type of thing. I like my house but it’s missing a few things that I would love (unfortunately in the heat of the 2021 market, we didn’t have much choice). I would love a master bathroom, bigger walk in closet and a finished basement. My wife would love a bigger kitchen and more spacious dining room. Maybe an extra guest room (we ideally wanted a 4 bed). It is what it is and we love our current home and make the best of it. Stop looking. Occupy your time with something else more productive Meanwhile, we "older folk" are trying so hard to downsize. I am on the second home since the last time I declared we are downsizing and trust me, we aren't getting any younger. Live below your means and expected size. Don't be like me. Realtor here. Your home is your home for a reason. Remember the reasons why. I purchased my home over a decade ago. I knew it was going to be my home over a year before I could buy it. I’ve redone the whole house. I am known for looking. If the right one came along, I’d make the move. In the interim, there’s nothing out there that’s better than mine for me. Right now there’s nothing better out there for you than yours. It's like a never-ending cycle of wanting more, right? But hey, your house sounds awesome! Cozy vibes and all that. Maybe try focusing on what you love about it instead of what it lacks. This is topic is too financially massive to obsess about. You WILL drive yourself and those around you absolutely insane. Every time you look at another house go look at your bank account and realize how much smaller it will be after you pay a realtor and contractors (to fix/paint things to 'get it on the market') and movers and... and... Go the opposite direction. Go find some really shitty places. I do home inspections and sometimes after I leave the really nice ones I'm like holy shit I need to get my money up and get a bigger house. But when I go to the gross ones I come home and appreciate the hell out of my house. Find some places in your area on zillow that are for sale that are gross looking. You'll feel grateful when you get home. Hey friend, remember that. every iota of energy you spend worrying about your home is an iota where you're not getting the maximum value out-of your investment. ENJOY IT and if we die, we die. Maybe you can retire 5 years earlier in this house? how much is that worth for you? It’s not as if there are no downsides to bigger houses with more things and stuff. Also the human monkey brain is very stupid when it comes to this kind of stuff, we crave getting that next-greatest-thing but when you get the next greatest thing its almost never all that amazing, maybe for a day or two then we're on to the next thing…remember the last thing you really wanted to get, how much do you use it now how much do you still crave it? Make a list of all the things you love about your current house. Even the smallest little details. The perfect afternoon light in the bedroom, the birds chirping in the mornings, seeing a family of deer on your front porch, etc. Showing gratitude like this really helps put it in perspective since you might not get those things with a different house. Too much time on your hands? Volunteer to help declutter for the elderly. I could use help😃 First world problems. Volunteer for Meals on Wheels Are you me?? I look so often. I dream of a bigger house, like you said, a little extra space, a sauna, an exercise room, etc. I always think “what’s wrong with me?” that I can’t be happy with what I have? When I visit my friends in the suburbs I think how great it would be to have such a big yard and more home space until I remind myself we both work full time so who is spending a Saturday cutting the grass? Cleaning a bigger home? Paying to heat and cook a bigger home? I complain about our small yard but we also live walking distance to phenomenal city parks so why not enjoy those where I don’t need to do any maintenance? No place will be perfect!! I have a feeing if we ever move I would STILL be daydreaming of the person I’d be in a new house lol. If you actually need more space and you have a large enough plot you can usually expand. Although sounds to me like its more "ohhhh I want that" reaction to seeing pretty things - we can all get that but it shouldnt make you appreciate your home less I jotted this down years ago during my yoga studies, yet I always seem to forget it. When we become attached to something, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Attachment fuels a sense of longing, and if we don't get what we want, unhappiness follows. This cycle often leads us to invest in fear, pushing us to consume more, work harder, and seek validation, all in an attempt to fill the void. However, these pursuits create imbalance in our lives, both mentally and physically. Ultimately, attachment only offers us one outcome: the opportunity to feel disappointed. Fear of that disappointment traps us in a cycle of unhappiness, where our desires and attachments perpetuate the very thing we’re trying to avoid. While searching for something helpful online, I stumbled across two insightful articles. The Undecorated House The author’s house is not decorated and has never received compliments for its appearance. Instead of focusing on decor trends, the author prioritizes functionality and comfort, filling the space with practical items. Despite having some personal touches, the overall look remains simple and serviceable, reflecting a lifestyle of making do with what they have. My house is not decorated and it never will be. No one has ever come to my house and said, “It’s beautiful” or “I love what you did with it.” Guests have never focused on a feature or a colour, and I’ve never developed a style like “French Country” or “Mid Century Modern.” I have read decor magazines for years and I could probably name every home trend for the past three decades. I’ve just never adopted any of them. I bet you’re thinking that my house is actually decorated, but it is just an eclectic, personal blend of styles. Nope! It just isn’t. That being said, 10 years feels pretty permanent to me! I expect to be here another 10-20, so I am not afraid to put down roots. But I haven’t decorated the house. It’s not because I’m afraid I’ll have to move. I’ve just become accustomed to making do with what I have. The rooms of my house are not aggressively bad looking. They are just serviceable. Since Rom moved in, we have covered a wall with custom-built bookshelves, and bought 5 more book shelves for his complete library! Otherwise, we have spent our money on everything else but decorating: a power washer and a lawn mower, guitars, cameras, computers, concerts and plays and vacations. My kitchen, pink counters and all. As you can see, it is dedicated to making coffee! Meanwhile, the house is remarkably functional and is packed with useful things. It is mildly cluttered, deeply organized and relatively clean. We have space for cooking and eating, reading and music, exercise, and sleep. We have to scramble to make room for entertaining or to have overnight guests. That could use some work. All that being said, I like nice things. My house is not dramatically random and ugly. It’s just sort of “there” doing its job, and I am happy with that. Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt Recently I posted a picture of myself in my kitchen, and I immediately started receiving generous messages from people wanting to help me “update” it. Along with their messages came pictures of how my kitchen could look, if I’d just put some effort and money into it. I’ve always loved my kitchen, but after seeing those pictures I found myself looking at it through new, critical eyes. Maybe it was all wrong. Maybe the 80’s counters, laminate cabinets, mismatched appliances and clutter really were mistakes I should try to fix. In terms of parenting, marriage, home, clothes – I will not be a slave to the Tyranny of Trend any longer. I am almost 40 years old and no catalog is the Boss of Me anymore. I am free. I am not bound to spend my precious days on Earth trying to keep up with the Joneses- because the Joneses are really just a bunch of folks in conference rooms changing “trends” rapidly to create fake monthly emergencies for us. OH NO! NOW IT’S A SUBWAY TILE BACKSPLASH WE NEED! No, thank you. Life offers plenty of REAL emergencies to handle, thank you very much. I’m a grown up now. I know what looks good on me, and that doesn’t change every three months. I know how I like my house. I like it cute and cozy and a little funky and I like it to feel lived in and worn and I like the things inside of it to work. That’s all. And for me – it’s fine that my house’s interior suggests that I might not spend every waking moment thinking about how it looks. Sometimes it seems that our entire economy is based on distracting women from their blessings. Producers of STUFF NEED to find 10,000 ways to make women feel less than about our clothes, kitchens, selves so that we will keep buying more. So maybe freeing ourselves just a little from the Tyranny of Trend is a women’s issue – because we certainly aren’t going to get much world changing done if we spend all of our time and money on wardrobe and kitchen changing. And an article from Simple Money about how many people feel stressed and overwhelmed due to owning too much and living in larger homes. Choosing to downsize can reduce expenses and free up time, energy, and mental space. Living in a smaller home allows for more intentional living and can enhance family connections. Every increased possession adds increased anxiety into our lives. Everything we own takes up physical space in our home and mental space in our mind. Our possessions require maintenance and cleaning, creating a cause-and-effect relationship between our excess possessions and our overall lack of time, energy, and focus. A smaller home is easier to maintain. Anyone who has owned a house knows the amount of time, energy, and effort to maintain it. All things being equal, a smaller home requires fewer resources for maintenance and cleaning. A smaller home is less expensive. Smaller homes are less expensive to purchase and less expensive to keep (insurance, taxes, heating, cooling, electricity, and so on). A smaller home is mentally freeing. The more things we own, the more they own us. And the more stuff we own, the more mental energy is held hostage by them. The same is true with our largest, most valuable asset. Buy small and free your mind. A smaller home encourages family bonding. While a desire to strengthen their family may be the reason that some people purchase bigger homes, I think just the opposite most often occurs. A smaller home results in more social interaction among the members of the family. A smaller home results in less temptation to accumulate. If you don’t have any room in your house for that new treadmill, you’ll be less tempted to buy it in the first place (no offense if you who own a treadmill…and actually use it). A smaller home forces you to remove baggage. Moving into a smaller home forces you to intentionally pare down your belongings. A smaller home means more discretionary income. Too many of us spend our days at work grinding away, just so we can afford the mortgage payment on a home we never get to enjoy. The financial benefits of a smaller home free up a greater percentage of discretionary income—money that can be spent on other passions. A smaller home means more flexibility. Generally, a smaller house is within budget to a larger percentage of the population than a larger one. And so, while you may never move away from it, a smaller home is easier to unload if you do so choose. For a while now, I’m trying to internalize this (and it is working!): a house is meant to be lived in, not constantly compared or improved upon. While I’m sure I’ll still have moments of scrolling through listings, I want to focus on being present and grateful for what I have now. This home is more than enough, and I need to remind myself of that every day. After 15+ years of paying my mortgage, I like to compare my payment and interest rate with what it would be if I was buying today. I get over the house envy pretty quick that way! I think it’s human nature. “The grass is greener in the other side” type of thing. I like my house but it’s missing a few things that I would love (unfortunately in the heat of the 2021 market, we didn’t have much choice). I would love a master bathroom, bigger walk in closet and a finished basement. My wife would love a bigger kitchen and more spacious dining room. Maybe an extra guest room (we ideally wanted a 4 bed). It is what it is and we love our current home and make the best of it. Stop looking. Occupy your time with something else more productive Meanwhile, we "older folk" are trying so hard to downsize. I am on the second home since the last time I declared we are downsizing and trust me, we aren't getting any younger. Live below your means and expected size. Don't be like me. Realtor here. Your home is your home for a reason. Remember the reasons why. I purchased my home over a decade ago. I knew it was going to be my home over a year before I could buy it. I’ve redone the whole house. I am known for looking. If the right one came along, I’d make the move. In the interim, there’s nothing out there that’s better than mine for me. Right now there’s nothing better out there for you than yours. It's like a never-ending cycle of wanting more, right? But hey, your house sounds awesome! Cozy vibes and all that. Maybe try focusing on what you love about it instead of what it lacks. This is topic is too financially massive to obsess about. You WILL drive yourself and those around you absolutely insane. Every time you look at another house go look at your bank account and realize how much smaller it will be after you pay a realtor and contractors (to fix/paint things to 'get it on the market') and movers and... and... Go the opposite direction. Go find some really shitty places. I do home inspections and sometimes after I leave the really nice ones I'm like holy shit I need to get my money up and get a bigger house. But when I go to the gross ones I come home and appreciate the hell out of my house. Find some places in your area on zillow that are for sale that are gross looking. You'll feel grateful when you get home. Hey friend, remember that. every iota of energy you spend worrying about your home is an iota where you're not getting the maximum value out-of your investment. ENJOY IT and if we die, we die. Maybe you can retire 5 years earlier in this house? how much is that worth for you? It’s not as if there are no downsides to bigger houses with more things and stuff. Also the human monkey brain is very stupid when it comes to this kind of stuff, we crave getting that next-greatest-thing but when you get the next greatest thing its almost never all that amazing, maybe for a day or two then we're on to the next thing…remember the last thing you really wanted to get, how much do you use it now how much do you still crave it? Make a list of all the things you love about your current house. Even the smallest little details. The perfect afternoon light in the bedroom, the birds chirping in the mornings, seeing a family of deer on your front porch, etc. Showing gratitude like this really helps put it in perspective since you might not get those things with a different house. Too much time on your hands? Volunteer to help declutter for the elderly. I could use help😃 First world problems. Volunteer for Meals on Wheels Are you me?? I look so often. I dream of a bigger house, like you said, a little extra space, a sauna, an exercise room, etc. I always think “what’s wrong with me?” that I can’t be happy with what I have? When I visit my friends in the suburbs I think how great it would be to have such a big yard and more home space until I remind myself we both work full time so who is spending a Saturday cutting the grass? Cleaning a bigger home? Paying to heat and cook a bigger home? I complain about our small yard but we also live walking distance to phenomenal city parks so why not enjoy those where I don’t need to do any maintenance? No place will be perfect!! I have a feeing if we ever move I would STILL be daydreaming of the person I’d be in a new house lol. If you actually need more space and you have a large enough plot you can usually expand. Although sounds to me like its more "ohhhh I want that" reaction to seeing pretty things - we can all get that but it shouldnt make you appreciate your home less My house is not decorated and it never will be. No one has ever come to my house and said, “It’s beautiful” or “I love what you did with it.” Guests have never focused on a feature or a colour, and I’ve never developed a style like “French Country” or “Mid Century Modern.” I have read decor magazines for years and I could probably name every home trend for the past three decades. I’ve just never adopted any of them. I bet you’re thinking that my house is actually decorated, but it is just an eclectic, personal blend of styles. Nope! It just isn’t. That being said, 10 years feels pretty permanent to me! I expect to be here another 10-20, so I am not afraid to put down roots. But I haven’t decorated the house. It’s not because I’m afraid I’ll have to move. I’ve just become accustomed to making do with what I have. The rooms of my house are not aggressively bad looking. They are just serviceable. Since Rom moved in, we have covered a wall with custom-built bookshelves, and bought 5 more book shelves for his complete library! Otherwise, we have spent our money on everything else but decorating: a power washer and a lawn mower, guitars, cameras, computers, concerts and plays and vacations. My kitchen, pink counters and all. As you can see, it is dedicated to making coffee! Meanwhile, the house is remarkably functional and is packed with useful things. It is mildly cluttered, deeply organized and relatively clean. We have space for cooking and eating, reading and music, exercise, and sleep. We have to scramble to make room for entertaining or to have overnight guests. That could use some work. All that being said, I like nice things. My house is not dramatically random and ugly. It’s just sort of “there” doing its job, and I am happy with that. Recently I posted a picture of myself in my kitchen, and I immediately started receiving generous messages from people wanting to help me “update” it. Along with their messages came pictures of how my kitchen could look, if I’d just put some effort and money into it. I’ve always loved my kitchen, but after seeing those pictures I found myself looking at it through new, critical eyes. Maybe it was all wrong. Maybe the 80’s counters, laminate cabinets, mismatched appliances and clutter really were mistakes I should try to fix. In terms of parenting, marriage, home, clothes – I will not be a slave to the Tyranny of Trend any longer. I am almost 40 years old and no catalog is the Boss of Me anymore. I am free. I am not bound to spend my precious days on Earth trying to keep up with the Joneses- because the Joneses are really just a bunch of folks in conference rooms changing “trends” rapidly to create fake monthly emergencies for us. OH NO! NOW IT’S A SUBWAY TILE BACKSPLASH WE NEED! No, thank you. Life offers plenty of REAL emergencies to handle, thank you very much. I’m a grown up now. I know what looks good on me, and that doesn’t change every three months. I know how I like my house. I like it cute and cozy and a little funky and I like it to feel lived in and worn and I like the things inside of it to work. That’s all. And for me – it’s fine that my house’s interior suggests that I might not spend every waking moment thinking about how it looks. Sometimes it seems that our entire economy is based on distracting women from their blessings. Producers of STUFF NEED to find 10,000 ways to make women feel less than about our clothes, kitchens, selves so that we will keep buying more. So maybe freeing ourselves just a little from the Tyranny of Trend is a women’s issue – because we certainly aren’t going to get much world changing done if we spend all of our time and money on wardrobe and kitchen changing. Every increased possession adds increased anxiety into our lives. Everything we own takes up physical space in our home and mental space in our mind. Our possessions require maintenance and cleaning, creating a cause-and-effect relationship between our excess possessions and our overall lack of time, energy, and focus. A smaller home is easier to maintain. Anyone who has owned a house knows the amount of time, energy, and effort to maintain it. All things being equal, a smaller home requires fewer resources for maintenance and cleaning. A smaller home is less expensive. Smaller homes are less expensive to purchase and less expensive to keep (insurance, taxes, heating, cooling, electricity, and so on). A smaller home is mentally freeing. The more things we own, the more they own us. And the more stuff we own, the more mental energy is held hostage by them. The same is true with our largest, most valuable asset. Buy small and free your mind. A smaller home encourages family bonding. While a desire to strengthen their family may be the reason that some people purchase bigger homes, I think just the opposite most often occurs. A smaller home results in more social interaction among the members of the family. A smaller home results in less temptation to accumulate. If you don’t have any room in your house for that new treadmill, you’ll be less tempted to buy it in the first place (no offense if you who own a treadmill…and actually use it). A smaller home forces you to remove baggage. Moving into a smaller home forces you to intentionally pare down your belongings. A smaller home means more discretionary income. Too many of us spend our days at work grinding away, just so we can afford the mortgage payment on a home we never get to enjoy. The financial benefits of a smaller home free up a greater percentage of discretionary income—money that can be spent on other passions. A smaller home means more flexibility. Generally, a smaller house is within budget to a larger percentage of the population than a larger one. And so, while you may never move away from it, a smaller home is easier to unload if you do so choose.

Culture

Career

Writing

0 views