a week without caffeine
I've recently decided to stop drinking anything caffeinated for a month. My top offender has been matcha, which has a surprisingly high caffeine content depending on the kind and the amount you consume. Second is other green tea, and black tea. Third is the occasional coffee I get elsewhere, or flavored cubes to dissolve in water that contain caffeine. I don't consume soda or energy drinks, and I don't have coffee or a coffee machine at home. This comes after at least half a year of intentional use, or sometimes abuse, of it. I made no secret on this blog that 2025 felt like two years in one , and I achieved a lot - but I also used caffeine to push my limits in ways that weren't good. I wanted to feel normal and not limited by my illnesses, poor sleep, or anything really. So instead of just drinking maybe once a day for the flavor, I started drinking for the effect, too, making the teas stronger. So it slowly became more cups a day, and consumed later in the day. I often used it to be able to make it through 2-4 hours of university Zoom sessions or a workout, or to try and fight the fatigue from my illnesses, or to make up for a night of bad sleep due to pain, or staying up late with friends playing games until past midnight. I've just been feeling really burnt out in the last month of 2025, and I thought about what I could do to change that. I chose to take younger me’s advice: Years ago, I barely drank black tea every couple months, matcha maybe once a week or less, and no coffee at all. I only drank for the taste. I didn’t even know the stuff I was drinking had any significant caffeine, and I made it mild enough. I never wanted to become a person that relies on caffeine or uses it to push across limits . I looked at people who felt burnt out and thought: “ Yeah, if I used substances to quiet my body telling me it needs rest or food or whatever constantly for months or years, I would feel burnt out too. I would at least lay off the caffeine and heed the signals to help myself get out of that. ” Now I’m the one feeling burnt out, and I did use caffeinated drinks to push myself further than I should have! Younger me was right, and by using my favorite little comfort drinks that way, I just borrowed from the future every time. That’s energy that will be missing the next few days, weeks, months… unless I do the same again, but maybe with more caffeine this time. But I don’t wanna dig myself that hole. Shortly after NYE, I managed to drink two very huge cups of matcha, one big cup of strong black tea, a normal-sized cup of coffee, and then some more matcha again at a friend's house to keep me awake for a board game evening late into the night, and it was horrible. I didn't wanna treat myself this way. So going forward, I will need to respect my limits. I don’t further wanna normalize ignoring my needs like this for productivity. If it protects my well-being long-term, I will just study 2 hours less, or I can’t study that day at all, or arrive at work an hour later, or can’t participate in a game night until 2am. Of course it will suck sometimes, because abusing it intentionally made me feel more capable and enabled a truly busy year; but I’ll just have to accept it. In the end, I’m not opposed to resorting to it for important stuff (a deadline, complex work...), but not constantly. A week has now passed ( 23 days left to go ) of consuming no caffeine (and not even decaf, because that still contains some), and I wanted to give a first update on my experience! Headaches starting past 3pm and went on until I had to sleep; took an aspirin to help it. Had a bit of nausea too, felt brainfogged, but calm. The headaches feel like my exercise headaches, which makes sense, considering both a lack of caffeine and intense exercise expand the blood vessels in the brain. I didn’t think I would be affected like this, and I should probably have tapered instead of going cold turkey. First day back in the office after the holidays. I notice a bit of a headache again past 8am, but they went away after 10am or so; didn’t even notice exactly when it got better. I feel a difference in how I focus and work. Caffeinated drinks immediately create more energy and a drive to work on something big/demanding for me, but if the work is not enough to fulfill that desire (mundane, repetitive and small), I’d struggle to get myself started or work on it uninterrupted. I’d take more frequent breaks to check stuff on my phone, I’d play music or YouTube videos to keep that eager part of my brain busy enough to get the boring work done. It seems like the caffeine boost made me more dopamine-seeking. I was craving anything that would fully utilize me mentally and then searching for a replacement when that didn’t happen. Now without the caffeine, there is no intense energy spike or crash, no frantic seeking of more intense work that would make me a bit anxious, and no search for something that soothes and distracts me from that sensation. Instead, I was able to continuously work without much breaks, distraction or distress for hours. It was easier for me to focus, to get into the zone, in a sort of flow state, even without music or videos. While I am still bored of my current repetitive work, I felt better equipped to deal with that, as I had no strong urge for a challenge inside of me that’d make me uncomfortable if I couldn’t find one. My focus and motivation felt more sustainable and persistent, instead of coming in short, intense bursts. I felt happy for no specific reason during my lunch walk, which was a nice change from the overwhelm and feeling of being hunted that I got so used to. Had some intense headaches again in the late evening; I think I am more sensitive to very bright screen light, because it always starts when I boot up Hello Kitty Island Adventure on the TV, and I’m currently in a very bright area. Very brief headache this morning in the tram that didn’t come back, not even in the evening. I may have put the worst behind me. I notice I am less sensitive to my environment; the glaring lights, the tram sounds and people. I’m still a bit sensitive in general aside from caffeine or not, but it doesn’t feel heightened. I sit there present, aware, no noise cancelling, and feel… content. At work, I feel like I have more… time? To arrive, to slowly get started in my own pace, and as said in the previous day, keep a comfortable momentum. I’m not suddenly extremely “on”, feeling rushed by the caffeine buzz. I like this. I also feel like I’m more comfortable with switching tasks than I’ve been the last few months. I’m also more comfortable with rest and intentional boredom. I felt very very tired close before 10am, but made a great recovery somehow that kept me going until 10pm without feeling exhausted or fatigued in between. The caffeine withdrawal headaches and light sensitivity seem to be gone for good. What remains is craving the reward, the treat; those were my comfort drinks, irrespective of their caffeine content, but that maybe that also played a role chemically. I miss it for a sort of mental relief. I notice effects on my hunger! It feels more controlled, and less urgent. There is less food noise in my head. It could be that increased stress and anxiety that were exacerbated by caffeine raised cortisol and made me hungrier, or smaller/skipped meals via caffeine lowering appetite makes the hunger return with a vengeance later. Or I seek to comfort and soothe myself after becoming frustrated of not finding mentally stimulating work while on caffeine, and I crave food for that. I underestimated how much it really affected my mood and anxiety. Everything feels calmer and more manageable now, and I no longer feel like I am constantly drowning. Rest feels truly restful. I blamed it on some challenges and problems in my life, but I guess a lot of it really was the caffeine, and I didn't notice how truly bad the baseline anxiety had gotten. On the first day, I even said to people that it doesn't make me anxious. I guess it did, though. What still remains is the need for reward I talked about, and seeking comfort, knowing it would brighten up my day a little. I want to work on some non-work things that are a bit demanding, each in different ways (a secret blog project, job applications, studying for my exams in March, translating for GDPRhub...) and it would be great right now to borrow a bit of drive and alertness on what feels like the click of a button. I wanna rip myself from the afternoon drowsiness, but I have to do it "on my own" right now. I really have to make sure to drink enough without my go-to choices. It's getting harder to do so when I can't drink the stuff I love or even crave! I have to be more intentional about drinking enough, when it hasn't been a problem before. For when I continue in 23 days! Reply via email Published 11 Jan, 2026 I will reserve caffeinated drinks for when it really matters (harder, more complex and important tasks; not just because, and not to keep up with people). If the task is not later in the day, it’s preferable to not consume any caffeine after noon. I will make/order the drinks to have a lot less caffeine. I will keep in mind that appetite suppressed or lowered by caffeine means more ferocious hunger comes later, so I have to feed myself well regardless.
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