Latest Posts (20 found)
ava's blog 4 days ago

a (temporary) win for meta glasses in the classroom

A student in Vienna, Austria has recently made the news because he has refused to stop using his Meta smart glasses at school, causing a legal dispute, and - to the surprise and outrage of many - actually preventing his expulsion. For now, he is allowed to keep wearing them and attend school until a solution is found. Why is that? I've looked at the relevant court case documents (the interim procedural ruling W224 2346501-1 ) and the (final) substantive judgment W224 2346501-1 on RIS) to get the facts for the case and to try and understand the justifications for this decision. The student started wearing the smart glasses in December 2025. News articles allege that within days of students complaining about the glasses, the school amended their house rules to forbid the glasses, yet he kept wearing them. After repeatedly failing to adhere to the teachers' requests to stop using the glasses, he was excluded from school for multiple weeks (16th to 23rd of March, 27th March to 24th April, and 27th April to 22nd of May respectively) as a disciplinary measure. The teachers and students cited fears of secret recordings as reason for their requests. The student still didn't comply. Aside from the issue with his smart glasses, the student was caught doing audio recordings with his phone in April 2026, refusing to stop the recording when asked to do so. Later on, he refused to prove that he didn't save the recording or that the recording was deleted. Beginning of June 2026, the school conference applied for the student's expulsion, which was approved by the Vienna Education Directorate on June 12th, taking effect immediately, despite an appeal. The parents of the student appealed this decision, and the Directorate handed the case to the Austrian Federal Administrative Court. In July 2026, the court upheld the appeal against the immediate enforcement of the exclusion in its preliminary ruling, suspending the immediate expulsion in the meantime. The student is permitted to attend class, where he will presumably wear his glasses again. A big part of the decision were the conclusions a pedagogical assessment came to, which stated that there was no sufficiently substantiated immediate danger in the student wearing the smart glasses. The Directorate had referred to a continuing risk to the physical safety and moral welfare of other students and people at the school if the student were allowed to keep using the glasses as a reason for the expulsion. Unfortunately, the court instead considered this an abstract assessment of risk, rather than a sufficiently specific explanation of why immediate expulsion was necessary. Second, the assessment contained no evidence that the student had recorded other people , as teachers and students only had moments of suspicion, not actual proof he had recorded anyone (with the glasses, at least). The court decided that suspicion of recording alone was insufficient for the immediate expulsion. Third, it wasn't clear enough to the court why the school had waited so long if it considered the risks to be so severe. The Directorate had not adequately explained why the same circumstances now constituted an acute danger requiring immediate enforcement. These points are why the court found the parents' appeal against immediate enforcement to be justified. Basically, the first document focuses more on the immediacy with which the school suddenly wanted to expel the student plus whether the suspensive effect is granted or not, whereas the final document focuses more on whether the way the student used the glasses already fulfills legal grounds for an expulsion in general. They found that it does not. In the second publication from August, the court overall reiterates its earlier decision and shares a little more details from the pedagogical assessment. It reveals that there are also unanswered questions around medical necessity of the glasses, and the student's ADHD diagnosis (but these are neither the point of the decision nor this blog post, so we shall skip that). The news about this case usually underline the fact that the student somehow "won" and is now allowed to just keep wearing them. That's cutting it a bit short for clickbait reasons. The court decisions expressly state that its rulings on the suspensive effect against the expulsion and whether the behavior fulfills ground for expulsion does not actually decide anything on the legality of smart glasses in classes or anything about how valid or not valid certain privacy concerns are . Under Austrian administrative procedural law, an authority seeking to exclude the suspensive effect of an appeal (which they did here - they denied the appeal of the parents, which would have normally suspended the decision, and went for immediate enforcement) must justify why this immediate enforcement is urgently necessary, taking account of the interests of all parties involved. Kids and teens have a big interest in continuing school and are required to be there, which is why a lot of importance is placed on not excluding any student willy-nilly. § 49 of the Austrian School Education Act (Schulunterrichtsgesetz, SchUG) requires a serious breach of student duties, with the relevant educational or house-rule measures having failed, or a continuing danger. The existence of a public interest in school safety does not, by itself, establish that immediate enforcement is required, and a potential privacy risk isn't automatically be treated as proof of misconduct that fulfills the standards of § 49 SchUG. Related: Austria also has a Schulordnung that deals with tech use at school, specifically smartphones, smartwatches and similar, in § 7(6), (7) and (8) . It's unclear how old the student is, as the limit only applies to people below the 9th grade, but it at least gives grounds to see the use of smart glasses as analogous to what has been banned here for a portion of students already, so it is not as huge of a jump to possibly ban smart glasses at school entirely at some point. However, the court decision is explicitly not an endorsement of the student's conduct . So for now, the case actually doesn't support a view that students have an unconditional right to wear smart glasses during lessons, or that schools are prohibited from restricting smart glasses. Thankfully! So what's the path forward? A revision of the court decision is not possible. The school, as previously mentioned, had already had revised its rules, but that doesn't help when a student repeatedly doesn't comply and his infraction isn't deemed grave enough to allow for an expulsion. Other disciplinary measures have yielded no results. News report that the student is now socially shunned in school, but not even that is deterring him. He has the court decision printed out and shows it to anyone challenging him to take the glasses off. Austria's Ministry of Education is allegedly examining a possible general prohibition on smart glasses and similar devices in schools both due to privacy concerns and cheating in exams. I am not sure how this could weigh heavier than the school's house-wide rules, but it may give schools more of a justification in their disciplinary measures. The school is put in a difficult situation in which it needs to protect the rights of students and staff, yet is in no position to gather the required evidence to successfully argue for an expulsion. Schools are not allowed to check the devices of students and acquire any material, and therefore rely on students to voluntarily relay any evidence. But what student will incriminate themselves, especially when you want to keep doing what you do? It's especially frustrating here because the student himself has been caught recording with a different device before, showing he is capable of doing this. The behavior being caught on a phone and not the glasses was his saving grace. As no (proven or otherwise) crime has occurred, it's not like there is anything warranting police to confiscate the device and search for evidence. This may be the case when another student has enough evidence to suggest that they were recorded (maybe in a sensitive space like the school toilet or a changing room) and is reporting it to the police or otherwise pressing charges, depending on case and legal options. Though I don't think this would realistically be pursued successfully by any cop.... I empathize deeply with the staff and students. They have to tolerate this now until further developments, and it's unclear what those may be and if they would help getting this creep to comply. Smartphones have already added a sense of surveillance to the school, in the sense that things could be recorded and uploaded for millions of strangers online to see and ridicule. Now, this covert recording is easier than ever and adds to the chilling effects. They also have to deal with possibly unfair advantages during exams, as the student will likely keep arguing for medical necessity because he needs glasses to see and seemingly cannot be convinced to stop the use or exchange it for normal glasses. Especially as a woman, it frightens me. Lots of people, but especially anyone who went through puberty as a girl, can probably attest to the extreme casual sexual cruelty that teenage boys are capable of and so often employ against the girls in their class. In their position, I would be extra scared of any recordings that could amount to zooming in on their breasts and butts, or amount to upskirting, or any pictures that then later are used to nudify via AI. I have had partially nude pictures of me leaked at my school when I was 15, so I don't have to imagine - I know how it feels. I am also mad when I think back to how dress codes and school uniforms were handled when I was still in school. It was common to have rules around cleavage, shoulders, bra straps, length of skirts and shorts, the midriff, etc. or have school clothing that complied with these standards. My school employed a dress code, and I regularly violated it. I was either sent home or stuck into a shirt that was supposed to shame me for it. It was a confusing time. You quickly realize that these rules do not apply to boys, and that basically anything you could buy at stores for your age group and gender actually violated the dress code (especially the time when hotpants were in). I was advertised to with these non-compliant clothes; I was expected to wear them to be cool and pretty and have any worth as a woman, I was supposed to want them and buy them, yet at school we were treated as temptresses, as vulgar, unclean, pornographic, sexual. Something to be hidden away, something that doesn't deserve any expression or comfort, no matter how hot it got outside. The issue was always deemed to be us, not the male teachers or students lusting after us. It instills a sort of shame into you that is very, very hard to get rid of. Yet here we are, someone can just refuse to take off the Meta glasses, an actual real threat to people's rights and comfort, and everyone is apparently ultimately powerless to stop it! The double standards deeply irk me. The parents are also obviously failing their son. They give him a controversial toy without ensuring the appropriate handling of it and setting some ground rules. They know their child has ADHD, yet give him a device that easily lets him be distracted during class. They know something has to change, yet all they care for is keeping their child in school, and they aren't confiscating the glasses despite their child missing school over it, threatening his education and future prospects. They seem to accept that they have helped their son become a complete social pariah in his most formative social years. What a shame. A ruined teenhood, a risk to education, a threat to students and staff, court costs... for what? To make Mark Zuckerberg more rich and influential. It's not worth it. Published 11 Oct, 2026

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ava's blog 1 weeks ago

nice things i’ve done for myself lately

I’m focusing on more care, compassion and kindness toward myself lately. It’s small things like just stopping and taking deep breaths and genuine breaks, letting go of arbitrary deadlines for myself that are not needed and stepping away from certain topics or blog posts for a while until I can handle them again. Muting some things, checking when I have the mood and time. I’m putting in effort to spend almost each morning on my balcony for a bit; a habit I had initially started quite a while ago but then unintentionally dropped. Drinking tea, eating breakfast, reading, soaking up some sun when it’s not cloudy. It really helps me feel more present and content. I’m writing this blog post there right now. The sun is out, but I am covered up a bit and my parasol is open. Some birds are singing, and I hear neighbors of mine eat on their balconies as well. The trees are still surprisingly green, and the sky doesn’t have a single cloud. When I am not on the balcony, and I am instead just lounging on the sofa or working, I put some calm morning music on, usually classical music or adjacent. I especially love these three: x x x , or Sabine’s Lothcat . I seemingly don’t grow tired of listening to any of them, and it feels so clarifying and grounding to me, without feeling overbearing or repetitive. I feel safe and focused, content with little, and in my own little flow zone. I’m also showering more often now, after low energy times and depression had made it harder. Even when I don’t feel particularly grimy, it’s a nice end-of-day ritual every other day. I know I always feel better when I’m clean, everything’s fresh and tidy, and my hair isn’t feeling greasy. I also started moisturizing again after the shower and got a moisturizer that smells like strawberry yoghurt, which makes me super happy. I’ve gotten back into taking care of my face again, being more diligent with my skincare, restarted my supplements and reordered the ones that ran out. Something I like to do before bed is going through the apartment and tidying up a bit so the next day starts without clutter. Putting away dishes and cups, clothes, controllers, hobby stuff and more. Preparing my desk, refilling my water bottle for the next day. Setting aside clothes for tomorrow. Sometimes I still clean the kitchen late at night so I get to walk into a spotless kitchen the next morning when I make tea. Having a grimy and messy kitchen from the dinner the night before right in the morning sours my mood and makes everything feel chaotic. As far as purchases go, I have admittedly been generous with myself. I got this new pink faux fur rug recently which I put next to my bed, so each time I get up, my toes touch something really soft. I also like to put soft socks or my Cinnamoroll slippers there so I can immediately put those on. Soft, soft, soft, in pink, white or pastel colors. I bought two Stardew Valley plushies (a Starfruit and Krobus!), restocked on new matcha and ordered CBD buds to make tea with (something I used to rely on a lot more years ago, but has slowly fizzled out). Due to an on-going pain and fatigue episode, I’m not well enough to go to the gym, or even make use of my home equipment, but I have been doing yoga again to the best of my abilities. I’m looking forward to my CBD arriving and making those sessions extra relaxed. I’ve also tackled my academic anxiety. Last semester didn’t go well for me as I was unable to study enough to have a good shot at passing the exams, so I postponed them. I felt great pressure for this semester to be better and to get back to studying as soon as possible, which resulted in a huge mental hurdle to even start and lots of doubt whether I am good enough or should just give up. I went slowly about it, telling myself I can just go do the administrative and organizing aspects of the new semester first and then see. I love using study software/games, so I encouraged myself with a new one so I’d look forward to using it. I set it up, then logged into my university account, prepared everything there, downloaded all needed materials, signed up for the live sessions, put all dates in my calendar, ordered all books I need, and then… actually started studying. It felt great, I had no issues understanding the material at all, and through the previous setup process, everything felt organized and like I truly have a grasp on this semester. I really needed this experience of feeling competent and capable in my studies again. Aside from that, I’m happy about what a perfect game FFXIV turned out to be for someone like me. When I am fatigued and in pain and with quite a bit of brain fog, it helps to have a game that doesn’t dictate what you do, and all gameplay can just be done via mouse, permitting me to move my body as little as possible. If I don’t feel up to it, there is always something easy and mindless to do; no “ugh, I would love to play that game right now, but I am at that difficult part!”. It’s also simply nice to get to run and fly around when in real life, you’re unable to walk or stand much at the moment. I’m very grateful for how much Kami has been helping me with the game as well. On a different note, I’ve had lots of struggles with executive functioning lately, basically feeling locked in and frozen as I cannot start doing the things I want to do, even easy things. Making appointments, refilling prescriptions and restocking anything felt like herculean tasks. All of the above helped me a lot with that. I even made an appointment to get my nails done later today; medication makes it a lot easier to move again, too. Maybe I will also make a different appointment to get a massage another day :) Now that this is done, I’m going to tape some scraps into my journal and then study. Later on, I will write another matcha review . Have a good day. Published 05 Oct, 2026

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ava's blog 2 weeks ago

rose ▪ bud ▪ thorn - september 2026

My coworker brought back soap for the entire team from her trip to Turkey. The Magic Secret Lair stuff :) Soba with a sweet-sour mango sauce, chickpea tofu, vegetables and shredded toasted nori. My nails this month. My Poron! Or rather, Cinnamoroll in a Poron outfit, but I take what I can get. I "modded" her because she comes with a different keyring, but one of my other Sanrio keyplushies has this pink heartshaped one which suits her so much better, so I switched it out. Our latest sourdough bread: Published 30 Sep, 2026 Started feeling a lot better; more hopeful, more together, more focused and motivated. I met up with Xaya , her girlfriend , and Kami in real life. :) went to a café, then went back to my place to play some games. I added new pictures to my blog - on my /now page and my author page . I bought new matcha and a Poron plushie. I love her so much, she is my favorite from Sanrio, but never really gets any merch or it is ugly (doesn't get her fluffy ears right). This one I really love. My Stardew Valley Secret Lair order arrived and my wishes came true - Krobus really was the secret card included!! I restarted doing summaries for GDPRhub again after taking a 2-month break. The URL penis.ceo now forwards to this blog for a year. I won't renew it, but 9 dollars is ok and it makes me laugh. Did a deep clean and declutter of the main bathroom. Been having a good time at the gym, making progress. I go 5x a week now unless I need an additional rest day. In FFXIV, I have now made it to the Stormblood expansion. Had a good date with my wife at the place where we got engaged, and we found a new favorite restaurant. Read Bad Blood by John Carreyrou, then Kiss of the Spider Woman by Manuel Puig. Getting back into the blogging groove. I've started studying for the new semester. I postponed Property Law from last semester to this one, plus I have also enrolled in Employment Contract Law and Commercial Criminal Law. Working on adding some fun easter eggs and mysteries to my blog. I've started Digitaler Kolonialismus by Ingo Dachwitz (I like his work at netzpolitik.org). I wanted to add an AI law class to my data protection consultant certificate because they're now offering that upgrade, but it cost a surprising amount of money that I don't think the material and resulting extra diploma is worth. It sucks though, because other than that, I really wanna do it. I wanted to apply to a job, but upon further consideration and really reading the work description deeply, I realized it wouldn't be fun for me. It's in the right space/topic, but the actual day-to-day work is not something I enjoy. Made me sad, because I was looking forward to a possible exit from my current position. It feels like unless you already have Master's degree and several years of experience, all you are allowed to be is a clown who makes PowerPoint slides all day or adds events to an Outlook calendar. I ended up doing zero exams for the summer semester. I had to drop it all. Unfortunately. I feel unsure about my future and where to take it from here. I guess I'll just focus on finishing my part-time degree first, but it would be nice to have a bit more of a plan for afterwards, or for the rest of it so I don't have to stay in a job I hate for the next 3 years still. Things have shifted so my original plans don't really seem to work out anymore. My gynecologist just shut down operations a week ago and will go out of business today with no notice or warning. Found out yesterday. I was really happy with them and I’m completely blindsided. Had to figure out who will refill my prescription and continue treatment.

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ava's blog 2 weeks ago

book club: kiss of the spider woman by manuel puig

In the Grizzly Gazette book club, we've voted on reading Kiss of the Spider Woman by Manuel Puig next, suggested by Psycheoma . We kinda lost sight of the book club and posting it in time :p I've struggled with reading fiction for a while now; I manage to squeeze some in here and there, like when I read The Dispossessed 3 years ago and loved it, but most of the books I own and end up finishing are non-fiction. It wasn't always this way, especially as a child, but the older I got, the more I felt pressured to read things that had an obvious "return of investment". Fiction can teach you a lot in unexpected ways, but you never know whether it will just be a nice story for you, or something that makes you think of life, society or yourself differently, and in which ways that will be. You have to start reading and trust the process, just enjoying it for what it is, and let it give you whatever it ends up being, even when it is not life-changing or improving on anything. Meanwhile, buying a book specifically about a specific topic/field or an autobiography immediately tells you upfront what you can expect and what you'll be taught, no surprises. Having read it carries the promise of improving in that area or at least having valuable knowledge. I like that predictability and usefulness, and I am a very impatient person with a tough schedule at times, so I am unfortunately obsessed with not wasting my time. After all these years of barely any fiction reading, I've become lazy and inflexible. It's now so, so hard for me to give books a chance without knowing definitively if I'll enjoy them and what I'll take away from them. Non-fiction is easy for me to read because I already have a reason to care: Me. I'll relate it all back to me, and my interests, what I already know, or who or what I want to be. Anything that is not relevant or interesting to me can be disregarded in self help. Fiction challenges that, because the beginning of a book will just present me with characters that do not yet give me a reason to care. I don't know them, I don't know anything about them yet, and I cannot relate them back to me. I'll have to sit there patiently until everything is slowly revealed and the characters become more than random names on a page, and may be completely unlike me. That isn't easy for me, but I'd like to change. I went in completely blind. I had not looked up anything about it and had no idea what to expect. The narrative style (a dialogue without names showing who says what, but it becomes apparent when you continue reading and see how they refer to each other) is definitely a surprise and took me a while to detect and get used to, but then it is fairly easy to read and understand. I was done with it after 2 days, in which I read for about 4-5 hours in the morning. The book released in 1976 centers two prisoners in Buenos Aires in 1975, one a trans woman referred to as Molina (her last name), the other a man named Valentín. While Molina is incarcerated for "corrupting a minor", Valentín is a political prisoner because of his involvement with a revolutionary group. The story is told through their dialogue, which is mostly Molina describing movie plots to Valentín, many of them centering on romance and having real life equivalents. Through discussing the movies, they occasionally reveal things about their outside life or themselves. Later on, the story continues through written reports by a third party. Molina's gender is mostly not acknowledged; she repeatedly states she sees herself as a woman and is not a man, yet the prison system and even Valentín continue to misgender her and simply see her as a homosexual man. Even the English Wikipedia page makes no mention of it. (Spoilers ahead) After about half of the book, it gets revealed that Molina is in this cell together with Valentín because she is cooperating with the prison on getting more information out of him so they can arrest more members of the group. Her meetings with the warden are covered up by getting groceries and pretending they were brought by her mother and lawyer, and her incentive is an early pardon. While everyone involved seems to not (fully) acknowledge Molina as a woman, they are absolutely aware that she is queer, to them an effeminate gay man, and use what they associate with that femininity to their own gain. And Molina indeed fits the bill: A caring and romantic person who wants to be liked, wants to help people and build a bond. She helps Valentín as he is sick from food that was intentionally tampered with to weaken him, makes him food and tea, even washes his stuff and gives him hers when he shits himself from it. She even has sex with him, seemingly consensual. It reminded me a lot of the practice of V-coding , which is the common practice of placing trans women in the same prison cell as male inmates to placate them. The idea is that by getting to rape the trans woman, he'd become calmer and more docile. It's absolutely horrible. While in this book, Molina apparently wasn't raped and wasn't just placed there to calm down an aggressor, she nonetheless seems to have been used specifically for her femininity and willingness to have sex with men, in the hopes to break through the walls of a very closed-off man and get some intel. The warden and sergeant even toy with the idea to release Molina, orchestrate a fake admission by her and surveil her in the hopes that the revolutionary group would seek her out to get revenge, which would give them a chance to pounce. It's a great fictional, but sadly very realistic case showing how far the justice system was (and is) willing to go to abuse and endanger queer people if it helps their investigations. Molina seems to want to be a neutral party to all of this initially; telling the warden openly she's making no progress, but asking for extensions. She has become attached to Valentín, and who knows who else she could be matched up with? It could be worse. At the same time, she gets multiple chances to press him on his political contacts but chooses not to, even one time telling him that she'd like to hear anything else but the name of his comrades. She fears that they could interrogate her and she'd spill, both betraying him and painting a target on her back after her release. Slowly, she changes her mind, and Valentín convinces her to relay messages to his comrades once she is out, telling her who to call, where and how. He wants her to get involved with the group(s) too. Unfortunately, she gets surveilled for longer than Valentín said she could expect, and in ways she possibly failed to detect after a while. Thinking she was safe, she makes moves that make it obvious to surveillance that she is reaching out to the group and trying to get picked up by them. Sadly, at one final attempt (which already seemed decently hopeless and dangerous to Molina, as she already withdrew all she could from her bank account and left it to her mum), she gets nabbed by agents just as members of the group drive by to kill her and wound an agent, likely to prevent her from spilling anything. It feels tragic, another trans woman killed, used as cannon fodder, used in the agenda of the men around her, just seeking for connection, love, a bigger purpose. One can only hope she felt at peace as she died for a supposedly greater good. Meanwhile, Valentín is still in prison, getting tortured during interrogations. He thinks of both Marta, his love, and Molina, as his mind drifts off on a high dose of morphine in the infirmary, even mixing them up. He regrets what happened to Molina because of him. My wife asked me if it was a fun book. Kinda depends on the definition... I was interested in it enough that I was able to read it for hours on end. Was I truly excited or gripped, always expecting the next turn or twist soon? Mostly no, it was very predictable in the sense that the prison days would pass and another movie would be discussed; I think I was only glued to the paper when the surveillance reports came up, because I wanted to know how Molina would act - would she really follow his instructions, and what was her support network outside like? I wasn't laughing or crying either, I had no strong emotions, but it was nice to read, it kept me company, it filled my time in a way that didn't feel like a waste. It's not a book I would put on a list of recommendations, but if anyone was planning to read it or asking if it was any good, I'd encourage them to. Published 28 Sep, 2026

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ava's blog 2 weeks ago

book: bad blood by john carreyrou

I finished Bad Blood recently :) It is a must-read if you want to understand what happened with Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos. It is very specific and focused in that regard - it isn't a general observation about Silicon Valley or Palo Alto startups with her as an example (which parts of the cover may suggest), but instead a detailed recount and look behind the scenes by the journalist who broke the initial story. It feels like a written documentary as much as it feels like a piece of evidence, a permanent record of everything, especially Carreyrou's diligent work. It has exactly the tone of something you'd write after dedicating almost your entire life to that case for about 3 years and then writing everything down in case it ever becomes relevant again, in case people forget once she gets out, or in case anyone would ever decide to come for you. An insurance one can always point to about the exact work, timeline and details. This extreme involvement and expertise really helps flesh out the case and explains a lot of the background workings without relying on potentially more unreliable secondhand sources, but it also made it hard for me to keep all the less important characters apart, especially in the beginning. There's a flurry of characters being set up in the beginning that are not really relevant for much longer and they aren't given the space and details to become fleshed out people you can actually remember and differentiate between. Pages full of sentences filled to the brim with random names and their connections and investments that may almost never be mentioned again for the rest of the book. Later on, their last or first name may come up again, but because they were just introduced briefly 50+ pages prior and their only characteristic was investing this amount or coming from that company, you don't even know who that was anymore; same with the first few employees, I'd say. I understand they are needed for the evidence and bigger picture, but it made getting into the book a bit difficult because you are bombarded with names without anything substantial to tie them to or having an idea how relevant they'll be to the case. It's absolutely understandable that this "blindness" to how much introduction and explanation a person involved in the scandal needs for the average layperson exists when you've been so deep into the story for years that it just seems obvious to you. It isn't always like this: Sometimes, out of nowhere, at what felt like the wrong time for me, the reader suddenly got a glimpse of someone's personality for no apparent reason. It'd be some tense negotiation or argument and we'd suddenly be treated to something akin to " [Name], who likes his tea black, said he had never heard of this machine before ." (not a quote, but a close example, because I currently cannot find the examples I was thinking of). Why am I suddenly out of nowhere being told this, when it has not been relevant in this situation? At other times, especially much later in the book, the vivid details really spill out of Carreyrou. It almost turns into a fiction novel the way the scenery, clothes and demeanours are described, which can definitely be enjoyable and break up the matter-of-fact tone of this non-fiction, but also felt a little much in some occasions; so much so that, if I hadn't known this was all real and neither non-fiction nor fiction based on real events, I'd have wondered if this is where things stray into fiction, as this level of detail is usually reserved for that. As the book goes on, the pacing becomes faster and faster. The closer we get to the core of it, the house of cards falling apart, the more things happen at once, new twists and turns emerge, and the more erratic and threatening the behavior of people involved becomes. The ending is rather anti-climactic. Suddenly, it all stops. We have read this insanity, and then there is no resolution, no closure, no punishment. It is in the hands of the court now and we'll have to see what happens. Nowadays, of course we know what happened, but I am a little sad the book had to stop where it did, as it was released in 2018. At least there's a podcast for the book by Carreyrou that also covers the trial, but I still wish there could have been an update to the book (aside from the 2020 Afterword, when the sentencing was in 2023), though I imagine the author also wants to reclaim his life and not keep having to go back to this, or at least get to take a longer break away from it. I hope maybe he'll keep his eyes peeled on what's happening with Haemanthus in the future :) Published 27 Sep, 2026

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ava's blog 3 weeks ago

elizabeth holmes

I remember at some point growing up, I saw Elizabeth Holmes on magazine covers and spread across the internet as the "new Steve Jobs". I was fascinated to finally see a woman in that position; I think the #girlboss era wasn't quite there yet, and I welcomed a role model in spaces that were usually male-dominated. I kinda liked that she seemed very focused on her craft and the tech, while dressing in a more understated, but professional way. Instead of coming across like other "successful" women who always seemed to be overshadowed by a more successful husband, propped up by generational wealth, and visibly wanting to spread the message " Yes, I am a business woman, but I am still a very feminine, fuckable trophy wife! " I could see myself in Elizabeth, because I also had a lower voice (but not as low, and not cartoonishly faked) and wore black turtlenecks. When it came out that Theranos was a huge scam, I was shocked, but also very intrigued. How can people lie that long, and involve so many people in that lie? How did people comply for this long? What role did she play in it? I sucked up as much as I could about it at the time, which initially wasn't as much as it is now, aside from press and YouTube videos covering it. The facts about her person and Theranos' product were clear, as well as the allegations from the article, but nothing else had been established. From the initial reveal to the trial and sentencing was quite a while (reveal in 2015, went to prison in 2023), and the book, podcasts, and documentaries took so long to come out or were partially inaccessible to me. I kind of lost sight of it for a while, especially because of the pandemic. I got into other grifters like Anna Delvey, who also fascinated me by the way she seemingly avoided the usual subtle "checks" we have to detect if someone is real, just by acting like she belonged and making it up as she went. Puzzles me. I have never idealized the crimes these women did, nor do I want to emulate any of it - I just want to understand how something so impossible in my mind was actually pulled off. The audacity, the tower of lies, the house of cards they build, everything. I am obsessed with the way audacity and luck seem to line up just right for these women to support their fantasy/delusion, and how it all falls apart. The announcement of the documentary " You Can See Everything " ( teaser , trailer ) by Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim really rekindled my passion for the Theranos scandal. I haven't gotten my hands on The Inventor yet, but I finally was able to watch The Dropout on Disney+ and listen to Season 2 of the podcast of the same name (which covers the trial), I read Bad Blood by John Carreyrou, the journalist who initially broke the story in the WSJ and then wrote a book about it, and immersed myself back into some YouTube videos like Some of these inevitably cover the same thing at times, but still, CoffeeandCults was basically covering this from day 1 even back then as things developed, and even went through court files and chat messages between Elizabeth and Sunny, and I love the way she does it. So I knew I needed to go back there and catch up on new stuff I had missed. What fascinates me about her now is to continuously find more crumbs that settle the question whether she knowingly lied, or whether she really believes it. At this point, it seems she really does believe it, even after all this time, and after the lengthy trial. She really thinks she was sabotaged, unfairly treated, and put behind bars for no reason. Someone pulling off an insane grift can be scary by itself, but it's less scary to me if they knew they were doing it and were calculated about it (like Sunny was). But the other option is way scarier to me... that you can really give 20 years of your life to the scam, sleep like 4-6h a day and work the rest of it, no life experiences, no friends, all into the company since 19, known no life outside it... and it was all for something that was never real and could have never worked. All the praise you got was ill-gotten. Everything you thought you achieved is gone. And your mind cannot even comprehend that or give that up or see it for what it is because it's so painful and would make this huge chunk of your life just void. You are so delusional and it's all you have left and all you have ever experienced... that's a scary outcome. Makes sense then that she is already admitting she will continue this grift once she gets out; this is all she has ever known and the only goal she has ever had. Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes are the kinda interest of mine I could talk ages about, but only when prompted, only when asked something, or when something new about it comes out or piques my interest. I get no fun out of it if I would just write a Wikipedia article 2.0 about her upbringing or something, so I won't summarize everything here. But what still (or currently) moves me about this case in no particular order is: It's so unbelievable that after all of this, there is no regret, no admission, and the open declaration to do it again. This woman is dangerous. I'm looking forward to the documentary to not only see her extremely concerning and off-putting behavior, but also because apparently 2/3rds of it is dedicated to exposing how messed up Billy also is. They really deserve each other apparently, and she has not learned from Sunny at all. Will definitely write another post once the docu is out on Oct 16. Published 24 Sep, 2026 The Video You Need To See Before The Elizabeth Holmes Doc (recently) A Deep Dive Into The Dangerous Lies, Riches & Narcissism That Built Theranos & Oceangate (recently) The Rise & Downfall of The Ex-Billionaire Felon Elizabeth Holmes (from 4 years ago) Everything You Don’t Know About Elizabeth Holmes (from 3 years ago) The Crazy Things You Don't Know About Elizabeth Holmes & Theranos (from 3 years ago) The Wild Things The Dropout Left Out (from 4 years ago) And an interesting trailer body language analysis by BehavorialArts , will look forward to his full analysis of the documentary This woman doesn't have any degrees. She's not an engineer, she is not a doctor or otherwise an expert in the medical field, and people still believed her. Just dropping out of Stanford after a little over a year or so was enough to give her credence, which is nuts if you think about it. None of the patents her name was on actually had considerable contributions by her. She still cannot grasp what even went wrong. That while her cartridges and all physically worked in the sense that they diluted blood or pushed it around, they were useless for tests. The way you press the blood out of the finger completely ruins potassium tests and others. The volume is too low, or the dilution too high. The fact that she had to use competitor machines to do the tests. The fact that her employees were instructed to fake the validation of the results. Even after the laboratory was so bad it was forcibly closed for 2 years, she still doesn't see why. She created a fake lab with machines lined up just for Joe Biden to visit and see, even though this was never used for testing. Rupert Murdoch and Henry Kissinger were on the board! People were wrongly diagnosed with cancers, HIV, or a supposed miscarriage when they weren't. It led to medication changes, fears and trauma. She was not afraid to trial her non-functioning machines on terminal cancer patients either. She and Sunny abused employees and created an environment of fear at work, and constantly immediately fired people. She had people followed by private investigators, had employees build up dossiers on other employees to be able to blackmail them, had the social media of all employees surveilled, and more. An extreme control freak that has repeatedly threatened to ruin people's lives if they go against her. Ian Gibbons' suicide is her fault and she never even reached out to his wife or apologized; to her, it was just one less person to speak out about her. Her prison sentence doesn't even include a punishment for the patient mistreatment, just the (wire) fraud, as they weren't able to prove it was maliciously/with negligence, because they couldn't get any functioning viable records out of Theranos in that regard. Such a joke honestly. I love Erika Cheung for what she did and how strong she was. She's in the same prison as Ghislaine Maxwell and befriended her. Man, what a collab that will be of women who are sure they did nothing wrong and it was mostly the evil men in their lives (allegedly)... Despite only starting her prison sentence in 2023, she'll move to a halfway house next year. What a joke, right? It's pretty widely accepted that a big reason for having her two children at the time she did was to delay the trial or turn it in her favor by weaponizing motherhood and the kids; hoping to elicit pity and the view that one shouldn't separate her from her children. Pretty sick. She even went to court with those glowing milking machines on her breasts to make that point. Her Twitter account is super active because her new boyfriend Billy is running it. She seems to think (and and says so in her bio) that Billy only posts what she tells him to. But the volume of posts and interactions with others suggest otherwise; she can't even tell Billy to post that much, let alone spend hours every day telling him who or what to respond to. She has no phone or internet in prison. "Her" tweets are also pretty unhinged at times; seems like they aren't afraid to suck up to the MAHA crowd as well. She and said boyfriend are already organizing the new grift, Haemanthus, a company in Billy's name that does virtually the same thing Theranos does and even shares some branding of it, but initially limited to pets this time because that has less regulations. And yes, despite everything, they already managed to raise some money, and he also comes from money. It seems like Elizabeth is only disgraced in the general (poorer) public; for rich people, the problem seems to have been that she let herself get caught. Running schemes like this is seemingly normal in the world of investors, just a slipup, better luck next time. Her not being allowed to be on boards of public companies runs out before her prison sentence even ends, and it doesn't apply to Haemanthus anyway, which is private.

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ava's blog 3 weeks ago

the reduction of intellectual labor

In my first student job, my team was responsible for scanning any incoming bills for the company. A software then detected all the different positions and numbers, and then our job was to verify the text fields and if necessary, correct them manually (a 6 could sometimes become a 0 or 8, etc.) before sending them off to whatever finances/controlling SAP setup they had. So was it very similar to work in the TV Show “Severance”? Yes. I was validating numbers for four hours a day. In my current job, I’ve been doing the work for so long now that everything runs on autopilot. It’s mostly product management necessitating data entry, document management, handling deadlines, sending out autogenerated emails, or using previously approved bits of text. I click buttons and copy in words or slightly edit a template. No intellectual labor needed at this point, really. Everything that actually necessitates it is short-lived, rare, or concluded. It’s what bothers me greatly and is unsatisfying; I wanna use my brain, work on problems, write things, discuss matters with people, analyze and create things myself. Not just as an outlier, but as a core part of the job. What I am currently seeing at my workplace is that even the intellectually demanding jobs requiring expertise opinion here will be reduced to the workslop that I do. That’s their plan. Ideally, instead of writing a report, it will (mostly) be generated by AI. The stuff the report is based on is documents that other companies have created with the help of AI that they submit to us. If we receive a report (which is also likely partially or fully AI generated), we’re gonna have AI summarize it and suggest points to comment. When we comment on the report, AI will pre-generate a text. In meetings, they’ll probably discuss a draft AI generated instead of working together to create that draft. And some people actually push for that and are excited. I think they are misguided and don’t know what they’re actually wishing for. This is abolishing what makes their job interesting, memorable and varied, and they don’t even know yet what else they’d fill their time with. And let’s be real: Almost no workplace will just let you leave early for the same pay as long as the work is done, especially not this one. You’ll be reduced to clicking buttons, copy pasting text, pressing enter, and editing pre-generated text… and waiting. From experience, I can tell you that’s not satisfying at all if you want (or got used to getting) more stimulation from work. It’s not mentally engaging, and how easy and repetitive it all is makes even the easiest task feel like it’s not worth even focusing on. It’s a huge hurdle to get started at all. You sit there for hours needing to waste time. It might be cool the first 1-2 years, but it starts to negatively affect you at some point, especially on office days (and even more so when it’s exclusively on-site with no WFH!). You can see it right now with so many people in IT getting sick of working with AI and feeling disillusioned because all they do is generate and watch. Many people wanna iterate and create by themselves, not be a robot’s manager. I talked to coworkers about it and they just laugh at it. One told me that it’s true that AI will eliminate intellectual labor, but then we can just go do physical labor like painting walls because AI won’t be able to do that. I don’t wanna paint walls for a living! I don’t want us to have went to university for degrees and even doctorates just to waste away at the desk as we autogenerate everything and just observe AI for legal reasons and the option to stop it or readjust it in case something is wrong. I wouldn’t even have any qualifications for the sort of physical labor I’d likely then have to do (though, I wonder sometimes if I should just throw in the towel and start training to become a welder). I am hoping so badly to one day do more intellectual work that necessitates written reports and in-depth analysis or critiques of things, “deep work”, consultations and meetings with experts on the field in the same company or on conferences… being a what’s often referred to as a “knowledge worker”. But now, AI possibly jeopardizes that or at least greatly limits it, maybe decimates it to a few exceptions and opportunities. The actual day-to-day tasks won’t be like I need them to be. I’m simply more academically inclined, yet I was never able to live that. I was never able to live the campus life and fully focus on learning and classes and summer school, labs, exchanges, trips and discussions with peers and professors and all that… and now I can’t give up my full-time job at 30 to do that. I have to do a part-time degree alone at home with none of that and no one else to talk to or bounce ideas off of, no networking, no campus life, can’t even reach the professors. I wonder if I’ll ever get out of this career hole, even after my degree(s). At this point, they seemingly want a university degree for bullshit work like preparing envelopes, generating stupid PowerPoint slides or putting appointments into someone’s Outlook calendar as if that’s what people really got a Bachelor’s for. And now my workplace is on its way to let people with a doctorate press “Enter” all day like they’re sitting on slot machines and call that scientific work because an expert pressed the button and had possession of two eyes to catch any obvious discrepancy. We’ll call it progress when the bots just talk to each other and we only get summaries. Anyone I talk to about this is trying to calm their fears and mine with the idea that either this is still going to take a decade, or that it’s gonna fail because of the quality and hallucinations. Both isn’t helpful for me because I disagree with the pace of progress (or the idea that a simple delay is enough), and I have learned the hard way recently that the people here do not care about quality anymore if it means getting to play with AI and having less work. They are encouraged by leadership to be this way because putting AI into everything and potentially finding cost-cutting options is more important under the guise of “exploration” and “supporting innovation”. They also put too much confidence into their willingness to keep checking the AI output thoroughly every time or their ability to catch plausible sounding hallucinations, so in their eyes, the error rates are easily made up for by their supposed spidey senses. I also see some people say that no one will force you to use AI, but I assume they will at some point, or you at least can’t afford to always take longer than your coworkers who do use it. Not that you’d care about speed or “efficiency”, but your boss probably does. If only it would exclusively take over office workslop like useless emails and calendar management, but no… instead, I look at what’s ahead and office work possibly will instead just become even more monotonous, repetitive and soul-sucking if it all succeeds like planned and the costs and token limits don’t prevent the worst of it. My last hope is the true costs being too high. I recognize that mentally enriching work is a privilege, but I at least need work that doesn’t turn my brain into a depressive pulp. I know, princess-and-the-pea levels of complaining when others on this world die in Cobalt mines and sweatshops, but I can’t help it. The alienation of labor is reaching intense levels, and I’m tired. So much feels like a bullshit job now while I am begging to use my brain. Published 24 Sep, 2026

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ava's blog 3 weeks ago

a source of drain

I used to have a three screen setup on my desk. At some point, I removed the third screen because I felt weirdly overwhelmed. There was always something to see, to keep track of, to click on, to watch or to adjust while I played or chatted. I wanted more focus on fewer things. Removing the screen really helped me because it restricted what I see at once, but now, maybe two (?) years later, I notice I am running into a similar issue again with just two screens. The way I have been using my laptop(s) hasn't been beneficial to me lately in that regard. I can't tell if it's a phase, or simply age, but quickly switching between tasks and contexts after 5-20 minutes on each, digitally, seems a lot more draining than it used to be. And I've developed digital habits that facilitate that to the extreme. On a typical work day, I might have work for 20-60 minutes before I run out of things to do (underutilized worker good and fast at her job). Then I see what else I can do in the meantime. I'll probably check Matrix, read several channels, then check my RSS reader, open a few links in a new tab. I'll check the Bearblog Discover feed, open a few things from there as well. Then I check work again. Afterwards, maybe I check my private email, reply to one, and become distracted again. I start reading the first article, but might get distracted/bored/feel my focus wane after half of it, so I switch to something else - like a message I got, or another work thing came in, or I'll start reading another article. When I feel myself getting tired from it, I jump again. Whenever I dedicate myself to something - like studying, reading, writing a longer blog post, gaming - I still have so many interruptions because I check another message, or I have to check my work emails again, or I put on a new video or music, or interrupt that one to put another one on to continue the other one later, or I answer another email again... it wasn't always this way, but now it is. That doesn't even include all the physical interruptions when I have to get up from the desk. That behavior results in so many articles and PDFs left at different points, several YouTube videos paused, several things opened to check later, ticking off/closing one thing just for it to replaced by another thing, blog posts at several stages of completion (instead of my usual writing-until-completed) and feeling absolutely drained. I do finish most stuff I read or watch within the same day or two days, and I get a significant chunk of things done that I planned to do; but it weirdly does not feel that way, because I chipped away at it all in micro-increments, instead of sitting down and properly working at it for however long it takes, uninterrupted, in a flow, and then having a proper sense of closure and possibly accomplishment before moving on to the next thing. It just always feels like playing catch-up instead, or tying up loose ends, or doing the bare minimum to keep everything afloat. In the past, I was really convinced that if I everything I needed or wanted to do was easily accessible (open) at all times, it would allow me to freely bounce between them and do all of them a little, getting progress in on everything, and feeling behind in nothing. If I needed a break from studying, why not use that break to finish that informative video, or make some progress on that other lengthy PDF, or answer emails, etc.? It initially feels productive because you think you don't waste time. You keep bouncing and at the end of the day, you can list all these things you get to tick off or at least made progress on. For me, that advantage or feeling definitely didn't last, and now I crave the opposite. It just feels like I do everything a little, but nothing fully. I miss the focus, the flow, the dedication. It's been more difficult for my brain to keep jumping between different mediums and laptops and browser spaces and tabs all the time. I need more time to adjust and to get back to where I was, and it affects my attention span, my resilience to work through stuff, and my energy levels. And I miss proper breaks that are breaks and not just "briefly looking at another thing I have to finish". It feels like I do so little because so much is still open or not entirely done or only has been worked on for about 10-20 minutes that day, but it is simply spread out between so many things, with so many interruptions. This way, nothing feels like it is truly getting 'done' or making significant progress, even when it is true. At this point, I'd rather dedicate 2 hours to answering and sorting emails and have a clear inbox, than deal with 1-2 every day and it just feels never-ending (especially with newsletters). The way I set up Zen browser probably added to it, which is ironic given its name. But: I had several things permanently open in the Essentials, I had some things pinned at the top of the specific space, and I had at least 5 spaces dedicated for specific open tabs. While I do have compact mode enabled so the browser is essentially in full screen without a top or sidebar, I kept getting distracted and furthering the above bad habits that were really draining anyway. But it's not just the setup; since I had a bit of a rough time a few weeks ago and still occasionally struggle a bit, that also probably led to escapism through online stuff. Craving as much stimulation as possible, no breaks or boredom so I don't have to think or feel about certain things, and so on. Behind bad online habits is usually a difficult time in real life. I really need a stronger focus now, more self-imposed limits on what is happening at the same time, and less opportunities for me to jump between everything I needed or wanted to do. I've now removed most things I had put in Essentials, deleted several spaces, finally closed some tabs I had saved for later, and have closed others that were permanently open but that I should visit manually and then close when done, instead of giving myself constant easy access. I'm also using Virtual Desktops again, so I can better separate when I truly just want to focus on a specific task without all the other things open or accessible. If needed, I can also shut my laptop screen or disable it so I only have my one external screen, or take it from the setup to somewhere else, or even go get my old laptop as a separate device :) It really is a curse sometimes to have so much of your life bundled up in the same thing, as this portal to it all; from work and socializing to games to blogging to studying to other entertainment, and it's all in the same space, ready for you to jump between it all and feel like doing much of neither of it, starting one thing but your mind wandering to the other, over and over again, and that just going on the entire day, while so much of it feels equally urgent... Published 22 Sep, 2026

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ava's blog 3 weeks ago

internet safety for kids / a love letter to the internet

Content warning: Mention of suicide, grooming methods, child sexual abuse. In between all the social media bans and age-verification discussions, I think back to my online time as a child. My parents' household got internet when I was about 9 years old, and we had a family computer everyone used. At age 12, I got my own PC in my room. What the internet gave me was important and definitely shaped who I am today, for the better even. It offered me a way to journal that was inaccessible to my parent, who was always searching through all my stuff, reading my paper journals, and digging through my trash. Getting access to my PC, and then finding a specific website and logging in there was a big hurdle back then. 1 It gave me a way to connect with others who were also having problems. We could vent to each other about school issues, parental abuse, self-image and more. It was my form of therapy before I could access any care. It helped me gain perspective, feel understood and learn what is and isn't normal behavior from a parent. It was great that I could finally find others I could connect to and help them with their issues as well, when I was mostly a loner at school. Thanks to the internet, there were opportunities to socialize for me that real life couldn't give me - in chats, in forums, via blogging, early social media, or games. It also shaped my political views and values in ways that school or parents simply lacked. My parents aren't very politically literate or in any way academic. There were no intellectual discussions ever at my home. To be quite honest, there weren't any discussions aside from household-centered stuff. School is... school. Surface level, limited by the skills and views of each teacher, very centrist, very mellow, very exam-focused, and very local. Places like Tumblr opened up a whole world full of political discourse for me. I learned so much theory there, was exposed to a lot of discussions, both heated and respectful back-and-forth, walls of text with sources, and a much more of a global view. Following a discussion chain and seeing so many arguments and their proof, just to change my mind with the answer that follows, gave me more than any staged, weird discussion table at school could give, where no one even seriously held any of the views they were forced to read from a paper. I think without discussion culture online back then in forums or places like Tumblr, I wouldn't have learned to write the way I do, which both helped me in school as well as paved the way to write things like the tech utopia fantasy is over . On top of that, it made me a more empathetic and understanding person. I grew up with bigotry; thankfully, my parents weren't outright or proudly racist or xenophobic, but still unknowingly kept using terms that are actually slurs, or said things that were well-meaning or with neutral intentions, but ultimately ignorant and offensive either way. They used to be homophobic, and always had something to point out about someone on TV or on the street; slutshaming, fatphobia, being ignorant of disabled people if it wasn't the stereotypical person in a wheelchair, never trying to understand where the other person might come from or that they have a different experience than them. They always uncritically reproduced some bullshit and saw the worst in people, or saw them as caricatures of themselves. Without the internet, I would have become like them, or stayed that way for far longer at least. The internet gave me a way to push back on these ideas as much as was safe for me to do so, or just keep quiet while having a more favorable and understanding view of people in my head. Slightly related to the former point, but it also helped me with my queerness. When I grew up (and where I grew up), queerness just wasn't discussed. Maybe it came up one day what a gay or lesbian person is, and that's it. It wasn't discussed in sex education, no one at any school I went to was out, we had no queer student couples, no teachers who were openly queer, not even a fellow student where it was known that their parents were queer. Nothing. It was like queer people theoretically existed, but it's irrelevant, or an adult thing, maybe a porn thing. Trans people were not discussed at all when I was growing up. While you can surely list some movies or shows from before 2008 that had some queer character, it weren't popular ones, or many. It wasn't like nowadays, where it feels like most shows or movies have a queer character or multiple, intentionally, with good writing, and not just to add drama, make fun of them or kill them off. Especially kids shows even! When I watched TV, no queer person was seen. Online, I could learn about different sexualities and gender identities without an adult person policing it, restricting or censoring it, deciding what is or isn't "valid", or deciding how "age appropriate" it is. I remember scrolling Autostraddle in 2010/2011 and onwards, which helped me a lot with coming to terms with being a lesbian. It also broadened my interests a lot! I got into games because other people invited me to play, or because I saw fanart or screenshots of the game that I liked. Sometimes I saw people all reading, watching or playing the same thing just after it released, liveblogging their experience, and it made me wanna get in on that and bond with people about it. Tumblr is the reason I got into Dragon Age and Mass Effect, for example, and I still love them today. Same with trying other hobbies, like photography, or 3D modeling, and digital drawing. Seeing people online do them not only made me aware they exist or is something I could do, but they were also encouraging others to try, and had helpful guides at hand or even made them. These are the top things on my mind when I think about how the internet shaped me positively. There are many, many more I could list. I want to acknowledge that the internet has changed since then, and there are new challenges that I never had to deal with. But it doesn't mean that I didn't have my fair share of problems that still exist today, and that are often used together with addiction and other issues to justify a ban. When I grew up with the internet, there were very few, basically no resources on how to help kids with it or how to prepare them for it. We were the trial generation, I guess. No one knew better, or knew of the potential dangers much. I remember that some time, it made the news that kids were groomed on the platform Knuddels , and that parents should make sure their kids stay away. What did this lead to? I was told Knuddels was a bad website, and I was forbidden from using it. That's it. And of course, to never give out my address or real name. My peers got the same short talk. The result was that Knuddels was very interesting to them because it was forbidden and dangerous. I didn't participate, but only because my child mind heard " The website is bad and dangerous. " and thought that if I went on it, the police would come to my house and arrest me, or some stranger would instantly know where I live and come to my house and kidnap me. What would have been better for my peers and me? An explanation of why this website is bad. What are groomers or pedophiles? What do they want to do to me? Why is that bad? What might they use or say to convince me to send pictures, or give out my address, or meet with me? When someone says these things to me, I should notify a trusted adult and stop responding. What can I do if I send something and regret it? What if they start blackmailing me with it? Know that you will not get in trouble for telling anyone what happened to you, even if you think it's your fault. Instead of having these conversations, parents and news chose the easy path and just designated a website the bad spot. This didn't save me from groomers everywhere else. There were the adult men who noticed I was vulnerable because I was extremely young (12-16) and abused by my parents, and listened to my problems, reassured me, played friend, just to slowly shift the conversation towards their own "problems". The lack of sex they had (with or without partner), and what they could do to get more sex, or how lonely they felt. They'd first discuss their sex life, and then pry about yours. Did you already masturbate? How did it feel? And as a very young girl feeling unloved and growing up oversexualized in our society, you slowly learn that sexualizing yourself and trying to be sexually available or interesting to people will earn you love, attention, and care, especially when you otherwise don't get it. And if the price for reassuring conversations with an older friend is that... you pay. And they always say they will feel better if you send them a picture. Just of your face at first. Then more. And if you said no, they'd act hurt. They'd either remind you that they listened to all your problems so you better do as they say else it's "unfair" and you were "just using them", or they outright threaten to kill themselves. This didn't only happen once. It happened with multiple men, different ages, in slightly different ways, and almost everyone I know has a similar story, especially when they are women. What I would have needed to hear as a child or teen in these cases, before any of it happened, would have been: Why is it so hard to have these conversations and teach children and teens that? Why do we once again try to paint with a broad brush about how this or that game or platform is bad, but we don't actually do everything in our power to demand that these platforms are improved not just for kids and teens, but for everyone? Why don't we still not put a lot of time and effort into helping kids and teens spot predators, scams, propaganda, manipulated content, ragebait, purposefully addictive content and the like? Why can we not teach them how to be responsible with porn and how to judge its content? How are we still not really discussing safe sexting when we know teens will do it? How are we still so behind on teaching them about privacy, data protection, and how their data will be used? We don't give children and teens enough competency, media literacy and knowledge to decide for themselves and truly understand the consequences, and then watch them bumble around cluelessly or be preyed on, and use that as an excuse to take away their agency and rights. Age changes absolutely nothing about these platforms or the risk of falling prey to someone or something. Becoming older doesn't automatically flip a switch and enables the knowledge on how to properly assess your screen time and your media habits or tastes and take the appropriate action. It doesn't automatically teach you when something is wrong and what to do. It doesn't immediately give you good media literacy. It doesn't just install good habits around online sexuality and porn. It doesn't safeguard you from emotionally manipulative content, effects of advertising, false promises of influencers, and how to spot unattainable beauty standards. It doesn't protect you from love scams or being blackmailed with nudes. If you are not taught about these things, and are shielded from the danger until you are 16-18, you will just make these experiences later, with absolutely no support. The same things that harm kids harm adults! The same stuff kids fall for, your grandma falls for too! Social media bans and severe age restrictions and verification enables everyone to shrug and throw their hands up as if they had no clue on how to help this. Platform owners can continue their platforms as before with no changes needed, which is great for them because things like engagement metrics, infinite scroll, ragebait, and the like keep the platform afloat and they don't have to adjust their predatory and unethical business model. Parents and schools are allowed to bury their heads in the sand, shifting blame between each other as both parties are too stressed, overwhelmed and have no time to deal with this. Giving into all of this with bans and handing over sensitive data to companies selling to data brokers is a declaration of bankruptcy of our willingness to raise children to be capable and responsible adults with the necessary freedoms and support. You are abandoning and neglecting your children. I read the Datenschutzberater , a magazine dedicated to data protection law in Germany. In the edition DSB-07-08/2026, in her article " Neue Anforderungen an den Kinderdatenschutz - Praxisfolgen aktueller Behördenpositionen ", author Anna-Lena Eswein explains the current state of child data protection law and uses a fictional example of a child-friendly app to illustrate them. One feature of this fictional app is: Specific presets for minor accounts. A private profile, the inability to be found via search or recommended profiles, comments and DMs are only possible with pre-approved contacts. Changes to these settings require a "conscious decision". The author doesn't write that, but I assume this decision needs to be made by the parent, or at least with parental approval. I think approaches like these are highly problematic! This restricts online interactions to merely real life connections, approved by their parents, exchanged in person. Likely just accounts by family members, some people from school, and of the club(s) the child is in, and that's it. That is not enough! Referencing back to what I wrote above about what the internet gave me, the ability to interact with people all over the world gave me so much. The option to seek out whomever I wanted, or be approached by people with similar interests, was important. I needed a space online where I could be visible to others, showcase me and my interests, explore how I wanted to act and present myself, and where I could talk about my problems removed from the watchful eye of parents or real life peers that didn't understand me. I had contact with much older adults in forums that was helpful, kind, respectful, informative and helped me grow, like another parental figure or an online aunt or uncle. I am still very grateful for them. If my mother would have had the option to control my online life like parents nowadays have, it would have shielded me so much from good and necessary online content and interactions, and would have purposefully prevented me from speaking about my abuse to others online. She would have been even more successful in separating myself from others and being able to gaslight me about her behavior and what is normal in a family. It would have reduced my online presence to a second channel for abuse and limited real life connections, plus maybe a feed (algorithmic or not) that merely makes me a silent spectator and consumer to whatever is on it (maybe even pre-approved, too). How are queer kids supposed to find each other like this, when not every area, every school, is safe in real life or where not everyone is visibly out? How are disabled or neurodivergent kids find each other, when they are often one of the only ones in their class or school, and want to speak to someone they can relate to? We can't make up for social contact with some TV shows or infographics or watching a YouTube video about it. How are teens supposed to learn about sexuality or politics or the genocide in Gaza when their feed is scrubbed clean and their parents will instantly find out if they recently searched "gay sex" in the app search? Everything will instantly be a shameful conversation brought up at the next dinner before the child is even ready to bring it up themselves. Yes, a setup like this during my time as a teen would have meant those men would have never found or contacted me. But it would have stolen far more from me; my safe space, my therapy, my online friends, my education and my interests. My negative online experiences were completely preventable without taking away the good, or running 24/7 surveillance on all my devices. It would have just been more effort, and would have required adults to talk to me, and treat me like an autonomous human being who can learn and make good decisions, instead of a sentient pet rock that doesn't have any rights. I would never, ever trade in the good to avoid the bad. I would have rather gone through the bad than miss out on the person the good parts made me. The bad has never been more preventable while still allowing kids and teens their own spaces and platforms for emotional support, to explore who they are, and learn more than their parents and school teach them. Without bans or age verification. It requires educational resources, time and willingness to sit down and discuss, humanizing children and teens and hearing them out, and holding platforms accountable for the bad they level against all of us , not just children. The sad reason the latter doesn't happen is because the EU has made itself so reliant on US tech that any real threat or consequences to US platforms has become a burden too great to bare. And they'd rather give the fascist US empire more money and install more surveillance and control over us all than actually give a fuck about your children. Children and teen's isolation and loss of resources, spaces and friendships is an okay price to pay for these fossils and their addiction to Microslop. Fuck them! Published 19 Sep, 2026 When I think about what tools parents have nowadays to control their child - live tracking, a report on everything the child did on a device, access to all accounts and DMs, a camera in the child's room... I get sick to my stomach. That tech was made for parents like mine, and there are reasons why they will die alone. ↩ When they see a picture of you and tell you you seem much older, or say the way you write is so mature for your age, it's not a compliment. They want you to feel flattered and like you are special for deserving adult attention, but they say it to hook you. They are also lying to themselves about how you don't "really count as a child" when it's total bullshit. No adult needs a child friend. No adult needs to cry on a child's shoulder. They have other adult friends and their own parents and other resources to help them out. They only say these things so you will feel bad for them and not cut contact, or do as they say. They use your sympathy and willingness to help against you. They will not kill themselves. They just threaten that so you comply. If you are not sure or concerned, call the police on them. When you take the pictures and videos they ask of you, or do things in front of a webcam in a video call, you are producing child sexual abuse material. That's not only illegal, but this will haunt you, and be traded between the perpetrators forever. When I think about what tools parents have nowadays to control their child - live tracking, a report on everything the child did on a device, access to all accounts and DMs, a camera in the child's room... I get sick to my stomach. That tech was made for parents like mine, and there are reasons why they will die alone. ↩

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ava's blog 3 weeks ago

got a pixel on pxlarea :)

Got an email today that I was added into a cool looking project, pxlarea . Very pretty and creative way to discover some new blogs and websites in the indie/personal web! 10k pixels are available, it says, and 189 are taken at the time of writing this. You can add yourself, or be added :) This is my pixel . You can set a description, tags and icon too, or if you were added by someone else/the maintainer, you can get an edit link to change the information there that was added for you. I think I am happy with mine! Maybe we will become pixel neighbors? Published 18 Sep, 2026

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ava's blog 1 months ago

are disabilities and chronic illnesses 'cool' now?

On September 5, The Telegraph released the article “ How having a disability became cool ” by Poppy Coburn. The by-line is: “ Young women, nicknamed ‘sickfluencers’, are turning chronic illness into a lifestyle trend and entrenching a culture of economic inactivity ” Quite venomous words already jumping out here. Attentive readers might notice it’s immediately insinuating that disabled people are lazy and choosing to lead this lifestyle voluntarily for fun. Awesome. The article immediately opens with the odd observation that many people at trans marches and protests use walking sticks. The transphobia is apparent throughout the article, but already starts here. That’s no coincidence: As a UK paper, they welcome that. To them, being trans is just another thing people make up as an excuse and for attention, so of course it can’t be left out in an article about how disabled people increasingly refuse to be invisible and actually feel confident enough to ask for support and accommodations, even fighting the stigmatization of walking sticks among young people. Further on, it says “ Disability is changing. To many, it is no longer an adversity to overcome, but a social identity akin to one’s sexuality, gender, or race; an immutable reality to be celebrated by the subject and accommodated by the rest of us. ” I find it so disrespectful by able-bodied, not chronically ill people to keep pushing this idea that disability is something to be overcome. It puts the onus on the disabled or sick person to somehow change or cure their disability or illness, instead of on their environment to accommodate different needs. It goes hand-in-hand with seeing us as merely people to be “inspired” by, and for this inspiration porn to be created, you make disabled and chronically ill people struggle and beg and settle for less and forego accommodations, just to go “ Wow, you’re so strong for that. ” and “ At least you’re not letting it define your life. ”, the latter being reserved for people who are lucky enough to function well enough to pass as healthy. Because people who dare to talk about it, to show it, to use accommodations like canes or more home office days or extra time for assignments? They’re not trying hard enough to be “normal” and “use” their disability for advantages and let it dEfiNe tHeiR liFe . You put us in this weird spot where we aren’t allowed to be utterly sad, bitter and angry about our fate, but we are not allowed to embrace it and find happiness in it either. Realistically, what is “overcoming” in this context supposed to mean? The vast majority of chronically ill and disabled people already try all they can to not worsen their condition; they go to doctor’s appointments if they can afford so, they get their tests done and take medication if they can pay for it and get it covered (if there is one for their condition, and they are taken seriously by enough to get it), they do physical or psychological therapy, limit their foods or their activities, and more. I do so many things in my life to keep my brain and body as intact as possible that healthy people don’t have to, and it’s like a second job; yet I will never “overcome” this. I’m in disbelief at the fact that people like Coburn do not seem to understand the finality of chronic illnesses and disability, probably because the thought that you could just become sick and never get better deeply scares them. But that’s how it is! Disability and chronic illnesses will most likely remain part of the person’s life until they die . Depending on what it is, it can influence anything from the way you dress to the activities you can partake in, your mobility, the foods you can eat, your social status, the jobs you can do, the income you have, and more. In what world would that not significantly impact your lifestyle, and why would we wanna hide that it does? No longer having legs to walk with, or no longer having parts of your colon, or being bedbound, or having cognitive issues is an immutable reality . What else would it be? We can change the names in the diagnostic criteria, but the symptoms remain and are a part of me just like race and gender. The article goes on to describe the strong increase in disability numbers, suggesting that the diagnostic criteria are too broad and hard to prove if it’s not literally a physical disability. It’s funny that Covid, an event that left a lot of people disabled, is not mentioned more prominently in this than just vaguely referring to “the pandemic” for timeline reasons. No, it has to be all those fakers with their little sadness they call depression, or the people who pretend to have POTS, apparently. Listen up: I’ve had a Covid infection so bad, I had POTS symptoms for 4 months after and also had to take beta blockers for it. The only reason I wasn’t diagnosed with it was that it went away in time, and symptoms have to persist for at least 6 months, I was told. And the longer it went on, the more scared I was that this could be permanent. There was no “overcoming” I could do. All I could do was wait and hope my body gets it together, and I was lucky. And now people like Coburn are surprised that after Covid (which is still going on!) we have a strong increase of people with POTS? I didn’t even bring it up myself; my doctor mentioned it and never made it seem like it was a controversial or illegitimate illness, like the rest of the article does. What follows is: “ But, were they not decked out in the accessories of their disease, it would be impossible to perceive the conditions they consider to be so central to their interaction with the world. ” Okay, and? What is the problem? I fail to see what’s the issue. Lots of disabilities and chronic illnesses are invisible. I have Crohn’s disease and Bechterew’s disease. I don’t yet have a stoma, but if I had, it and its bag would be underneath my clothes. And because I am young and on treatment, I don’t walk around with a fused, curved spine yet, and hopefully never will. If you catch degenerative diseases early and are lucky with successful treatment, it means we can slow the process and give people a higher quality of life, which often means it’s not visible. It being not visible doesn’t mean it’s not real, or symptoms don’t persist, or there isn’t treatment for it that the person goes through and wants to talk about. “* […]you’ll be bombarded with artfully curated pastel info-graphics (“Seven symptoms I didn’t realise were Pots”), beautiful women with slicked-back hair sharing their Pots journey (“hi life update: I have a chronic illness!”), pink wheelchairs and walking sticks, compression socks embroidered with flowers and bold messages against medical misogyny […]*” This is presented as a negative thing. Oh no, disabled and chronically ill wanna inform people about their conditions, and make art about it, and feel beautiful, and make sterile depressing looking medical aids beautiful and match their style! How terrible! Everyone, please show off your glamorous life online and embellish it… but not you, with your disgusting wheelchair! The article thankfully acknowledges the fact that more women than men suffer from chronic illnesses and that women struggle with being taken seriously by doctors. Despite that, the entire article feels incredibly misogynistic, because it never successfully connects the isolating and painful experience of that with the behavior that is weirdly critiqued; the tone is more like “ Young women and their hysteria and need for attention, am I right?! Just like when girls used their period to get out of gym class!!! ” Rightfully, Coburn mentions the darker side of social media illness content: Snakeoil salesmen preying on the helpless who have run out of options or hope. Those exist and deserve to be called out. I just find it weird to pretend a disabled person offering compression socks in their shop is somehow on the same level to what I have seen a lot more of: People selling courses, cookbooks, supplements etc., because everything can suddenly be cured by a healthy gut biome, FODMAP or carnivore diet, 3 capsules of turmeric in your rectum a day, or homeopathy. I’m not saying the call never comes from inside the house. Disabled and sick people can prey on each other and economic circumstances many of us have might edge people closer to it. However, the vast majority of scammers I have seen were healthy people who just got into that because we are easy targets. They slide into your DMs, your emails (even here!), they join patient groups on Reddit, Discord, and Facebook just to advertise their shit. I don’t know what that has to do with “sickfluencers” being open about their life online. “ She describes a “hyper-awareness of physical symptoms like fatigue and a racing heart” from patients who visit her seeking an explanation for their pain, with an expectation that there will be a single, incontrovertible diagnosis. Often though, she says, it is more likely that factors such as “a lack of sleep and exercise and a poor diet” are causing the patient’s symptoms, and these can be resolved with minimal medical intervention. ” I find this to be so incredibly dismissive. A lot has to be ruled out first for POTS to be considered, and there’s literally a table angling your body to see when your body abnormally responds to being upright. Lack of exercise, sleep and poor diet were not the case for me and my post-viral tachycardia. It’s not normal for your heart rate to consistently shoot up to between 120-150bpm just for sitting up in bed or slowly walking into the kitchen. Talk about hyper-aware when you feel like your heart is gonna jump out of your chest. It’s like going to the ER and having everything dismissed via “anxiety”. It fucking sucks, and I wish people lost their job for fabricating such non-sense proudly in a newspaper. “ For many observers, the phenomenon is a direct consequence of the way in which normal facets of life have become medicalised. You’re not forgetful, you have brain fog. You’re not feeling low, you’re depressed. You don’t dislike crowds, you’re suffering from agoraphobia. You’re not excited, you’re in a manic episode. The entire range of human emotions can be tidily sorted into a diagnostic box. ” Literally none of these have any significant overlap with each other and wouldn’t be diagnosed as such. The threshold for all of these is that it causes significant impairment in your everyday life. Simple forgetfulness might be annoying, but isn’t literally damaging your life and leading you to almost cause a car accident. Same with feeling low or uncomfortable in crowds; no one calls themselves agoraphobic for hating crowds! It’s the inability to leave the house at all that impairs people’s lives the most. I can’t even put into words how horribly ignorant this paragraph is. It’s like putting zero effort into researching just to be able to complain that everyone is sick nowadays. It shows zero personal experience too, which makes me wonder where the authority even comes from to speak on all this. “ Young women are also more likely to get caught up in “social contagion” – the spontaneous spread of behaviours or emotions previously observed by sociologists in “outbreaks” of bulimia, self-harm and transgender ideology. What may have otherwise been transitory feelings are seized upon and obsessed over until they form a central pillar of a person’s identity. A chronic-illness influencer won’t want to get “better” any more than a female-bodied transgender person would want to re-identify with their sex. ” I am at a loss for words, really. Chronic illness havers do not get better because that’s what makes it chronic. Most trans people have tried anything they can conceive of to not to be trans and had to fight intense denial and fear before taking that step - because it involves horribly long waiting lists, humiliating therapy sessions in which it is normalized to ask dehumanizing questions about their genitals, sexual life and porn preferences, as well as medical discrimination, job discrimination, the potential loss of family, friends and partner, and the risk to be murdered. But sure, they choose that for fun. Asshat. “ When my mother was a girl, she feigned unbearable abdominal pain to dodge a minorly unpleasant task. She kept the act up for so long that when a doctor diagnosed her with appendicitis, she failed to break character – and even when she was prepared for surgery – she couldn’t bring herself to confess. And so, whenever I’d swear blindly I was too unwell to go into class on a Monday morning, she’d remind me of the small scar beneath her stomach. ” I fail to see how the author’s mum being a horrible liar is a good reason to apply that mindset to strangers she only sees online and never actually speaks to. Maybe stop this weird projection? Of course, an article like that cannot survive without mentioning increased diagnoses of autism, the absolute favorite topic for people who pretend increased rates of any diagnosis is a bunch of bullshit. You can think what you want about the integration of “Aspergers” into ASD, but to pretend it doesn’t make sense that more women get diagnosed late in life now because only boys used to be considered and autism can look different in girls and be missed is simply illogical. It’s fearmongering for absolutely no reason. What’s the threat here, really? People online now get diagnosed at 30+ and make a video about it and nothing else changes in their life, as many of them do not need or cannot get accommodations because most of them are for the school years. What is the effect on you or society as a whole? “ It would require incredibly bad luck indeed for so many of these women to be afflicted by so many completely different illnesses with totally different medical causes. But luck seems to have nothing to do with it. There is a wealth of medical evidence that disorders with no proven pathology overlap. In many of these cases, if the cause is medical, it is strictly psychosomatic. And if it is not medical, it is likely to be based on identity: the desire to increase one’s status through suffering, or to enjoy a larger community of supporters. ” No, it’s just called comorbidities. My Crohn’s disease is actually one of the symptoms of my Bechterew’s disease as both patient groups have a significant overlap, and having one diagnosis helped diagnose the other. Lots of people with my diseases also have had depression in the past, and abusive childhood, allergies, and things like PMOS or endometriosis. All of these are real; the body is simply a system, and when my diseases (and its inflammation) were uncontrolled, everything else was worse as well. In general, we don’t fully understand all illnesses yet, especially ones that tend to happen after viral infections (like ME/CFS) or ones that are autoimmune. Why can’t we have reputable doctors for these discussions, instead of a journalist with an agenda? “ The truth is that it is not harmless to allow a generation of girls to convince themselves they are sick without good reason. Nearly one in 10 people of working age is now claiming a sickness or disability benefit, and the number of children receiving disability benefits has doubled in the past decade. ” No. The truth is that people like the author are scared of disability and chronic illness, and scared of the possibility that the source of it all could be environmental or systematic; that would require a lot of change that likely won't come, and it’s easier to pretend it’s all in our heads and we can will ourselves out of it than look the likely facts in the eye. “ All of the major political parties have acknowledged that disability-related welfare costs are unsustainable, with Reform vowing to compel a quarter of a million people back into work, saving taxpayers up to £50bn, if it forms the next government. Overdiagnosis of minor issues that 20 years ago would have resolved on their own can be ruinously costly. And it’s not just immediate welfare costs that are placing a strain on public finances. The number of school children receiving SEN (Special Educational Needs) support has soared since the pandemic, rising from one million in 2018-19 to 1.3 million in 2025-26, straining school budgets to the limit. […] As is also the case with dogmatic aspects of transgender ideology, sickness-as-identity politics is especially dangerous for children. We are creating a cohort of young people that is totally dependent either on doctors or activists for emotional support, and broader society for economic support.” Yes, people who need treatment rely on doctors and society for life. I don't understand why transgender people are always targeted in these discussions with this aspect, because I, or diabetics, or people with a pacemaker also are dependent on doctors and society for life. Moreso, talking about the costs of supporting disabled lives is incredibly icky. Austerity politics in the UK have killed tens of thousands of disabled people since 2010. There's this one Nazi propaganda poster/magazine cover that just never leaves me. I probably think about it multiple times a week, especially with where Germany is headed, but also because I'm a rather expensive patient and will continue to be so for life. Loosely translated, it says: "60.000 RM [currency back then] costs us this genetically diseased person for the rest of their life. Fellow comrade, that's also your money." It's a poster in favor of eugenics because sick people cost society too much. It's supposed to tell you that you can save money by being in favor of culling the sick. Poppy Coburn therefore, in a completely non-chalant way, spread Nazi rhetoric in The Telegraph, with apparently little to no pushback. To her, we are spectacles to be gawked at, people who merely exist on social media like a trend shoved down her throat, and only relevant enough to write ragebait articles about in which eugenicist views are normalized. What a disgusting way to make money. You should be ashamed of yourself. Published 08 Sep, 2026

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ava's blog 1 months ago

wonders of web weaving podcast episode with me!

A while ago, a request for a podcast appearance made me seriously consider if I am comfortable with that. While that initial invitation didn't work out (still very grateful, and maybe in the future!), it also opened me up to be on James' podcast, Wonders Of Web Weaving ! My episode released today and you can find it here . It has both an audio file and a transcript, so if you don't want or can't listen to audio, you can simply read the content. It was a lot of fun! We recorded it in June and James was so nice to talk to and a really reassuring and friendly presence that made it easy :) I was still a bit nervous, so I apologize for any weird word mixups and mispronounciations ;D Published 08 Sep, 2026

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ava's blog 1 months ago

health data and broad consent

Health data is my biggest interest within data protection law. If my health would permit it, I would work in a hospital or pharmacy. I even originally set out to complete my traineeship in medical documentation at a hospital! It fell through because I would have had to move to another state. Alas, now I don't work in any medical settings, but I still work with health data in a boring building instead. Under Article 9 GDPR, health data is considered a special category of data (often called "sensitive data"), and processing is by default prohibited. Processing of personal data revealing racial or ethnic origin, political opinions, religious or philosophical beliefs, or trade union membership, and the processing of genetic data, biometric data for the purpose of uniquely identifying a natural person, data concerning health or data concerning a natural person’s sex life or sexual orientation shall be prohibited. This data can be vast and overlap in practice - some medical information is biometric or genetic, some might refer to your ethnicity or the color of your skin, some will be sexual and cover sexual activity, orientation, or gender. Some is just plain diagnoses, or values, tests, prescriptions, or otherwise documented treatment for something. Health data is in this weird spot where most people do not wish to share it, but on the other hand, most of us are supportive of research and new scientific discoveries that could help prevent, treat or cure disease. This doesn't immediately seem like a contradiction, because after all, we have clinical trials. Unfortunately, they only get us so far, as they are limited in scope, population, and variables. That is also why there is a period of time after market authorization (in EU at least) where a drug is additionally monitored as the general population starts to use it for the first time, and more trials are needed. The risk-benefit analysis might switch or new discoveries are made, like new side effects or drug interactions that need to be included in the package leaflet and the SmPC (Summary of Product Characteristics). You can spot these medications by looking for a black triangle, or check out the list on the EMA website. Not only practical reasons speak for more use of data; the promotion of scientific research is an objective in the EU’s founding treaties, and the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights mentions unconstrained scientific research and academic freedom. So it makes sense that there is a growing interest in getting the health data of the general population, for example through their health insurance. We can do clinical trials, and we can analyze reported cases in pharmacovigilance systems or do journal reviews, but these are only small parts of the population, in very controlled environments, and the reporting isn't as good as it could be - lots of doctors simply do not report much or with too little information. Trends across populations are more difficult to detect that way or different causes and effects are never seen as connected. Examples for moves to combine health data across different registries, biobanks, organizations or countries for scientific purposes are for example the German Medizinregistergesetz to combine different national medical registries, the DARWIN EU project, and the secondary use option of the European Health Data Space regulation, whose infrastructure is currently being established across the EU (and is something I aim to work with). But how is health data handled under GDPR, for not just clinical trials but all kinds of scientific research? That is where the exceptions of Article 9 and the concept of Broad Consent comes in. The aforementioned Article 9 also contains exceptions to the total processing ban, and one of them is the purpose of scientific research. A controller needs to meet at least one Article 6 legal basis (like for example your explicit consent, a task in the public interest, legitimate interest etc.), and then it can base its processing on Article 9(2)(j) GDPR together with any Member State law that may apply. Member States are allowed to introduce further conditions and limitations for the processing of genetic data, biometric data or data concerning health, so each EU member might have additional laws to what I am about to describe; Germany, for example, has made use of this. On top of that, Recital 33 of the GDPR introduces the option of Broad Consent , saying It is often not possible to fully identify the purpose of personal data processing for scientific research purposes at the time of data collection. Therefore, data subjects should be allowed to give their consent to certain areas of scientific research when in keeping with recognised ethical standards for scientific research. Data subjects should have the opportunity to give their consent only to certain areas of research or parts of research projects to the extent allowed by the intended purpose. That means that in case of scientific research, it is possible to move away from the otherwise very granular and specific consent required by the GDPR, and agree more broadly, and most importantly, agree before the specific purpose of the processing is already set. This makes sense in practice: You technically need to be informed at the time of recording the data, but that may not be at a time where the purpose or scope of the research project is already set or it even already exists. This doesn't free controllers from specifying no purpose at all, or making it too broad. They cannot make you agree to simply all kinds of research, even if you want to do that. Instead, you might opt into, for example, "oncology research", and then later on, your data can be used for more specific purposes and studies within that bigger purpose. It's important that the purpose is within the defined research area and within the reasonable expectations of you as the data subject. Aside from this Broad Consent , controllers can also ask you to consent to different individual research projects separately, as soon as the purposes of those projects become known. This is called Dynamic Consent , and avoids some of the issues Broad Consent can pose. It's especially handy when future projects can be identified progressively or research continues over long periods and researchers maintain an ongoing relationship with participants, maybe because they need ongoing care or control. It can be difficult to fulfill the standard GDPR rights under Broad Consent in practice; you might not be reliably informed who specifically is currently (still) using your data for what purpose, especially years or decades later. It can be harder to withdraw consent and make it reach all parties that need to know about the withdrawal. Enforcement is harder because of how the data might have spread. Who makes sure to remove the data when you request so, or when the storage limitation is reached? And: While your data might be anonymized later on or pseudonymized in one dataset, multiple can be combined, which makes re-identification more likely. Of course, there are also reasons to be scared of health data being shared at all, with or without consent. Some illnesses, like HIV, herpes and more are still stigmatized. If this is revealed, the affected people could be seen as unsafe, dirty and promiscuous. Some are scared that it could lead to employers having access to databases where they can check an applicant's health status, which could prevent people who are sick often, or chronically ill and disabled people from getting and keeping employment. Trans people who wish to live stealth can be outed by the sharing of their medical data. Others see a risk in the data being used for racist and eugenicist reasons, especially via racial information and genetic data, or to detect specific populations the government wants to get rid of, like ethnic minorities, queer people, disabled people and more. In the wrong hands, health data could be used to deem you life unworthy of life . Plus, what if there's a data leak to third parties? With these risks in mind, I still wanna encourage people to check whether their discomfort around sharing their health data for scientific research is at a reasonable level and based on a likely concern, or a learned behavior because of the shame and stigma around discussing your health in social settings. It's hard to keep those apart! Many of us have learned not to share our illnesses because it makes others uncomfortable or because of bad experiences of others close to us using that information against us. The fears we usually have around discussing our diagnoses are often based on an information imbalance with our surroundings. That could mean: Your diagnosis of a stigmatized illness is revealed to people who have direct access to you, and now you are afraid that this changes how people view and treat you. You might be scared of being excluded, of being seen as a burden or being infantilized; fears of not finding sexual or romantic partners, and so on. But all of this usually requires a "leak" that exposes only you in your direct environment, and the other people around you aren't exposed and can use this power imbalance against you. On the other hand, if a data leak happens and strangers elsewhere have it in a dataset, there are different consequences; it doesn't give the people around you easy and immediate access, and they might be affected as well, leveling the playing field. What I am trying to point out with this is: Concern around leaked health data is often less focused on the actual outcome, each person's specific risk factors and what's technically possible, and moreso informed by general stigma in society and fears of interpersonal issues. People mix up the learned fears around admitting illness in their surroundings with the risks in a data leak, even if they barely have any overlap. For what it's worth, look around you: It is a false premise that we have a small amount of sick people, as if we were a minuscule minority. A lot of people are permanently sick or disabled in some way, needing medication for life, and this also increases the older the population gets. It's time for visibility and solidarity, and that only works if we don't pretend 90% of people are healthy and/or not reliant on medication or other assistance, or don't mentally "count" certain ones (or our own diagnoses) so people can feel above others and punch down. In your social circle and family, how many people are on antidepressants, how many people have rheumatoid arthritis or endometriosis or PMOS, how many have an Inflammatory Bowel Disease, how many people are on some heart medication, how many are diabetic, how many have epilepsy or have asthma or osteoporosis, who is fighting the effects of surviving cancer, who's on opioids for chronic pain etc., and who's simply dealing with age-related symptoms? That's just the most popular ones and isn't even including traditional physical disability. We all got something to lose and something to gain, and being open about being ill is easier when you realize the people around you are not exempt (forever). It is an inevitability of life. This perspective gives me the courage to be really open with my illnesses; of course no one else has to do the same. For Broad Consent to work well and not undermine your rights, there should be a clear understanding of what even counts as scientific research so there is no abuse of this privilege, and practices should be in place that keep the data secure and foster genuine attempts at informing patients and giving them the option to easily withdraw or keep updated about the use of their data. Helpfully, the European Data Protection Board (EDPB) has released guidelines for the processing of personal data for scientific research purposes. They set some standards for what qualifies as scientific research. The six key indicative factors they describe, next to just the nature, scope, contexts and purpose of the processing, are the methodical and systematic approach , the adherence to ethical standards , the verifiability and transparency of the methods and results, autonomy and independence , the objectives of the research (" the aim of contributing to the growth of society's general knowledge and wellbeing "), and the potential to contribute to existing scientific knowledge . They also clarify: " If the research activities under assessment meet all of the factors [...], they can be presumed to constitute scientific research. If the research activities do not meet all factors, the controller needs to justify and be able to demonstrate why the activities should nonetheless be considered scientific research, within the meaning of the GDPR." Additionally, they discuss that even private entities can rely on the legal basis of performing a task carried out in the public interest, and scientific research can , in their eyes, be a legitimate interest under Art. 6(f) GDPR. And they also explicitly do not exclude commercial interests from falling well-within the scope of scientific research. What they suggest needs to be ensured is All these are supposed to "compensate" for the Broad Consent . These are not the only guidelines out there; the German Datenschutzkonferenz and others have also published their own, and while they tend to differ in some points (especially around what can and cannot be considered scientific research), they largely suggest the same safety standards and patient rights to consider. I felt like writing about this for a while now because not many people I ask tend to know about the general movement towards health data sharing and combining of datasets that is increasingly being prepared and legislated, or at least have a broad idea of how consent is handled in these cases. There's a lot I could go more in-depth on, but this is an overview for now. I am sure the processing of health data digitally as well as the ease of sharing will become more visible in the future as more milestones are hit for the European Health Data Space , and as health insurance providers and healthcare facilities all over the EU make changes in how they offer and organize the digital patient file, digital prescriptions and referrals, opt-ins to data collection or enrollment in studies via app, and so on. Published 07 Sep, 2026 further processing for scientific research purposes that are compatible with the initial purpose(s) of when the data was collected, storage limitations or criteria to determine the period of storage must be set before the processing; it may be okay to store the data for longer, even after the conclusion of a research project, if it is needed within peer review or similar things, data subjects understanding the consequences of their choice, and having access to information on how their data is processed, for example on a website or a via a newsletter, and where they can withdraw their consent possibly via a privacy dashboard or other offline means, reassessment when the circumstances change (purpose change, controller change, third country transfer etc.), possible extra involvement of independent data trustees, time-limited consent, independent oversight, ethics committees, and patient groups for participant representation, and proper technical safeguards (as usually required by GDPR and other laws anyway).

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ava's blog 1 months ago

notebook 15

Haven't posted since March. These selected pages range from April to September. Published 06 Sep, 2026

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ava's blog 1 months ago

rationalizations about ring, flock, etc.

I have talked to multiple people using Ring cameras and similar surveillance tech at or around their home over the last few years, usually from the US. The reasons are mostly the same: Most of them have only started using these cameras after 2020, which is pretty odd if these are really the true reasons. Cameras and surveillance systems have been around since the 1940s, and have only become more and more affordable and easy to set up, even pre-Ring. Crime rates have existed before, as did the need to prove things to police or an insurance. Yet, the purchase of a private surveillance camera only came up in the recent years for them. Why? It really is the perfect proof that fear-based marketing works. Social media and the 24/7 global news cycle have us all hyper-aware of terrible events everywhere, and have blown things completely out of proportion. The constant recurring reminders that something bad happened just near you that you would have otherwise not known about is skyrocketing your anxiety. You could be next! Ragebait and other recorded rude behavior popping into your feed colors your perception of strangers and humanity as a whole. Everyone is out to get you! People have lost their minds, and now you have to protect yourself! It gets so bad that anyone walking on the street, being near your home, delivering your package is a suspect, a threat, before they are a human. They first have to prove they have nothing to hide, or prove they are doing their job correctly, all pressured by the presence of a camera (and the threat of this being shared with police or uploaded online and going viral), before they are seen as someone with rights. And maybe they even serve as content opportunity - fair game of course, as your camera yelled out that they're being recorded and by not immediately running away (as they have a job to do or wanna visit you), they consent, right? It's no wonder all that intensified during and after the lockdowns for Covid where everyone was extremely online, and that companies have found ways to capitalize on this fear. Because that's what it is: You fell for the marketing that promised to calm your worst fears and anxiety with more tech, and pretends it gives you some sort of control or a magic device that makes it all turn out okay. That's why you suddenly only need it now, after being able to live without it just fine. Overtly or covertly, the marketing tries to tell you: You can prevent all bad things from happening. You will spot bad things happening in time before any damage is done, or we will send a notification. Burglars and package stealers will be deterred. Due to the video footage, police will actually do something, and even catch the perp! You can find missing people and pets. Insurance will stop fighting with you! Your spouse will be too scared from bringing someone home while you're at work, and the kids will not do something forbidden while you're out of the house, and the dogs will not tear anything up because you can just yell at them to stop via a camera. You'll see if someone in the home has a medical emergency. But this is legit insane! You have smoke detectors and gas detectors for this. Criminals are not deterred by cameras. People everywhere are still getting their insurance claims approved and their lost package refunded. Police solved case rates are still embarrassingly low, despite almost all stores, and many streets claimed to be crime spots, being surveilled for a decade or longer now. People living with you or being in your home deserve privacy instead of suffering from your extreme insecurities. They deserve to not being judged all the time, especially children and teens. Knowing you are constantly recorded and watched and that it all can be played back or checked later (and possibly posted online) is completely damaging to any sort of character development and sense of safety, especially around trying new things and making mistakes. The chilling effects this has cannot be overstated, even for your guests! Your desire to see your pets all the time or be prepared for a possible unconscious person at home overrides none of this, and none of the risks like Life is unpredictable, and these things just appeal to a very scared part of us that we need to deal with differently than "arming up". Your trauma about your previous break-in is understandable, yet needs more substantial treatment than this clown show of a bandaid solution. I think any Ring user deep down is actually aware it is all outside of their control, and that this doesn't even make a dent and is just a farce, but it makes them feel better, and that's all that counts. It's a completely accepted delusion that the rest of us are expected to dance around and tolerate, which is ridiculous and I won't do. Realistically, you all know that there are no reliable stats, no actual proof any of this works, or does something to prevent anything, or help someone. You also know that the wholesome feel-good reasons are nothing compared to the risks. The chances are good that crime rates in your area have lowered since before you even had a camera, and it's not due to it existing. It's hard to prove something didn't happen , of course, but we have had store and street surveillance for quite a while now and it has not deterred crime from taking place. It has not even led to a meaningful amount of recorded crime actually being resolved. It's not in the police's interest to solve your petty bike theft because they are here to secure the property of wealthy people, not yours. Crime is best fought with resources like housing, food, money and education, but that costs more than a few thousand cameras and cannot be used for fascism, racial profiling, non-consensual recording and spying and doesn't supply the prison industrial complex, so of course it is unpopular with governments. What every Ring user is saying is basically: " Fuck society, fuck the political environment this is happening in, fuck you; my feelings matter more than the effect this has on society as a whole. I want the normalization of constant surveillance because I crave control and safety! I love the law and order appeal of literally any piece of media depicting fascism ! " It also hinges on this extremely individualist mindset I see emerge more and more where everyone is just fending for themselves, securing their own resources, and going "I got mine, fuck you." or " Doesn't affect me negatively, so why should I care? ". Everyone is seeking to buy their own McMansion, the further away from others and the higher the fence, the better. They're relying as little as possible on others, paying some stranger for things that usually a family member, friend or neighbor would do for free and have them drop it off without contact on the doorstep. They only interact with others online, and build up an impenetrable fortress together with surveillance everywhere, as if a horde of peasants could come and take away everything you have hoarded and worked for. And in the US of course, with a variety of guns in the home, and a ChildKillerTank5000 SUV in front, because the safety and comfort of the driver is top priority and your goal with driving is to win and survive, not to drive defensively and respectfully in a reasonably sized car. It's ridiculous to see from the outside, because you're building this insular allegedly hypersecure prison for yourself in which you are willing to hand over any piece of possible evidence as a loyal neighborhood spy and as proof you're a good behaved citizen, just because media tells you your biggest threat is other people; yet the biggest threat of our lifetime is climate change, and there is nothing that protects you from it in your fortress, and no one you can bootlick enough to be safe from it. Nothing you can do about the rising heat, dying wildlife, ruined crops, water scarcity, the upcoming climate refugee movements, the floodings, tornadoes and earth quakes that intensify, and so on. You think you can separate yourself from society and from your own choices and its effects and secure yourself, and it's not working. It will never work. And you are also capable of having blood on your hands. But in the meantime, you can make unethical companies like Ring and Flock a little richer, and you can help police and ICE and alike organizations do their kidnapping, killing, discrimination and intimidation more effectively, you can help train AI on people just existing in public, and you can help normalize being recorded everywhere to make a Nazi's wet dream come true. And please, spare me the replies about how everyone else using it is just evil and misusing it while you are an angel using it for good, that you totally agree with all of this yet sadly you just have to do this , reiterating the same tired Ring propaganda I listed above, and yapping some more of why they're actually good and justified in your specific situation and how everyone you know also does it and your grandma just doesn't know any better. I do not care. You have to seek absolution from someone else because I will not read it. That's not me ignoring the other side of the argument, it's me not wasting my time on hearing the same garbage I have heard from several people and online content before. There is nothing you could tell me to change my mind, and I don't care if it's worded nicely or rudely or by a friend or a stranger. God herself could come down and hand me a letter saying all this is good and justified and it would not change. This is something I have an ethically-informed fixed stance on, something you would also have if you had a backbone. Published 02 Sep, 2026 We live in an area with a high crime rate. We had a break-in before. We wanna have proof for insurance/police, or when the delivery isn't delivered or my packages get stolen. I wanna see what my pets/kids/spouse are doing. I wanna check for fires, cheating, make sure things get done around the home etc. Police or undisclosed third parties using the video stream without your knowledge or consent ... or with your consent, to harass people of color and other marginalized groups Hackers gaining access to the video stream and watching you, even in private moments you would not want anyone to see An abusive partner or parent exerting more control via the cameras, and forcing cameras to be hung up even in private rooms Partners recording you during sex or other private moments against your will or without your knowledge, and possibly even disseminating it

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ava's blog 1 months ago

rose ▪ bud ▪ thorn - august 2026

Published 30 Aug, 2026 I met Suliman ! I'm having a good time playing FFXIV; made it to Heavensward now, excited to play more. My wife gifted me the new Hello Kitty Island Adventure DLC (Tea Garden) and it's been very sweet and calming :) We had a great date day on which we tried out a vegan kebab we had never eaten before, went to a few manga shops, Build-a-Bear, a cinnamonroll shop, and more. My matcha order surprisingly arrived without notice, just in time, when I had used up my last bit of the old an hour or so prior. We went to Gamescom and I found merch of a Sanrio character I like that barely gets any or is never included anywhere; a Mocha plush, and I even pulled Mocha (or rather, Cinnamoroll dressed as Mocha) out of a blindbox too! Plus I paid less than the price tag said for something. The way my wife looked at me when I pulled the small plushie out of the blindbox brings tears to my eyes. It was just so overtly, shockingly full of genuine love and joy for me. I can't even describe how it feels to see someone look at you like that when finally something good happens to you. I think remembering that look will sustain me for the rest of my life. Saw a full rainbow in a pink sky while looking out the window. I got back into journaling for joy, and using up some of the stickers I had accumulated in the months of not doing so. I felt really grateful for a friend reaching out that I hadn't talked to in months and how supportive he was when I told him about my struggles. He independently remembered specific upcoming days I was worried about, and then checked in with me on them to see how I was doing. I am still so surprised that anyone would do that for me, unasked. Generally received kind messages and emails of support, which I am thankful for. Started feeling more like myself again towards the very end of the month. Getting back into my gym routine that I had to pause for health reasons. Regaining my sense of purpose, re-establishing parts of my life that give me a sense of security, a plan to follow, something to work towards. Studying for my degree. I've really fallen off this semester. Finishing up my blog post drafts. There's so much I wanna put out there, but time just keeps running through my hands like fine sand. This has been the worst month of the year for me... yet. What happened this month cannot ever happen to me again. I've had 20+ high heart rate notifications via my smartwatch this month because of anxiety, stress, panic attacks and rumination, mentally spiraling while sitting there doing nothing. I don't usually mention it when I talk about my illnesses because for the past few years, it genuinely did not affect me at all after treatment with EMDR, but I was diagnosed with (C-)PTSD years ago. Something in my life recently triggered it again pretty badly, so this is the fallout. I've spent most of this month trying to exit this hypervigilant state, this feeling of always being in danger or hunted, even when I know I am safe, and trying to implement the coping mechanisms I had learned. It has also made some some other mental health issues reemerge that were never officially diagnosed, and I might need to get on that. Unfortunately, Germany is currently completely gutting psychotherapy... All of that is the reason it's been quiet and I have been very behind on answering emails. I've endured some really weird and off-putting behavior from multiple different people this month; some friends, some acquaintances, but also strangers.

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ava's blog 1 months ago

link dump - catching up on my online reading

While I am slowly getting back up on my feet after a tough time, I am catching up on emails (will still take a bit!), my RSS feed reader, and several newsletters that have accumulated in my inbox. Here's what I picked out to read and share: This Is Capitalism: Apple's Hidden Data Workers at the Shadows of the AI Boom - 19 page paper detailing what data workers actually do and what problems they deal with, written anonymously by a data worker interviewing their colleagues. Parts of the work descriptions remind me of the work in Severance . Is this really a good reason to triple datacentre capacity in Europe? - online blog post tracing where the idea to triple the EU's data centers comes from that is mentioned in several EU AI strategies. Turns out it's from be a blog post from Savills, a commercial real estate firm who profit off of data centers being built. Fake US thinktank set up and funded by Israel sought to game AI for propaganda - AI slop meant to absolutely flood the web to be included in AI training funded by the Israel government to spread disinformation in AI answers. A new force is increasing inequality in America - WaPo article about how AI is not leveling the playing field or bridging the gap between poor and rich, but instead worsening the gap. People making the most use of AI are concentrated in richer urban areas and are already often rather wealthy, while the AI data centers are in poorer neighborhoods and the data workers are often migrants or in the Global South. Rich people can invest into AI and its stock, therefore profiting off of the hype and concentrating even more wealth. An operational framework for AI literacy in the workplace - 15 page paper from Interface EU addressing the vagueness of "sufficient AI literacy" that is often mentioned in EU AI legislation. It proposes a cumulative three-tier framework based on the nature and consequences of a worker's interaction with AI which then dictates the level of literacy required and how to attain/ensure it and measure it. The Quiet Erosion of Collective Action Under Digital Surveillance - article on chilling effects of permanent surveillance and the feeling of constant suspicion which continues to erode activism. Flipping the kill switch: I survived 72 hours without US tech - online article about an experiment to live without reliance on US tech. The US has such a strong monopoly that almost all online services and tech are unusable with this rule. Gone in one click - assessing the socio-economic impact of browser-level consent in Europe - small informative flyer style PDF by the Implement Group showing figures about cookie consent rates and ad industry revenues depending on the mode of consent. Inside the growing vigilante movement to knock out Flock surveillance cameras - online article by The Guardian. I admire these people, and we need more civil disobedience now, everywhere. Not just against Flock; against Meta glasses wearers, against Ring camera owners (Yes, you too! None of you are the "good ones" with "valid" reasons!) and more. There's many ways to affect these devices that you can find online or just get creative with it. Keep yourself safe, don't write about it, don't record yourself doing it, don't discuss it via digital means, leave your devices at home, and leave no fingerprints. Did someone wearing Meta Glasses film you today? Are you sure? - another Guardian online article, this time about the spy glasses and the people who enable hiding the recording light on them. The man behind GhostMeta is actually so vile and disgusting; anything else I could say would violate the Code of Conduct this blog is hosted on. German links: HeißeLuft.org - German website with interactive map showing where AI data centers are planned, in development, and paused, together with information on protests. Made me discover that they are planning on building one not too far away from me... Deutsche Post trainiert ihre KI mit Ausweisfotos - article about how Deutsche Post is training their AI with ID pictures they get via digital identification procedures. It's not voluntary as they claim, as you need to give permission before being allowed to proceed. Verhaltensscanner in Berlin: Harte Kritik an der KI-Überwachung - online article about the new camera installed in Berlin that will analyze all people in that area via AI surveillance software by Adesso, with more cameras to follow. They want to put them up in high crime rate areas , but keep secret what the standards for this are, which enables a mass roll-out of them if they wanted to without any oversight or control. There has already been one mix-up leading to higher crime reported in an area than actually happened. These cameras already also exist in Hamburg and Mannheim. Möglicher AfD-Sieg in Sachsen-Anhalt - online article detailing the fear of queer people and people of color of an upcoming potential win of the AfD in their state. Afd-Gutachten.de - website containing some stats and a PDF report of a legal assessment on the chances of a successful AfD ban. „Gipfel gegen Linksextremismus“: Mit Trump gegen die Antifa - online article about the cooperation of Germany with the US on its fight against antifascism. Unfortunately it has continued, with the German government realigning to focus more on supposed "leftist extremism" and even re-distributing money away from leftist projects, which mostly hits projects aimed at helping queer people and migrants. Wie weit ist Deutschland beim digitalen Gewaltschutz? - an online article about the really embarrassingly low standards of protection against digital violence, especially image-based ones like deepfake nudes and revenge porn, in Germany. Lots needs to be done in general, but especially to even meet the new EU standards. Wer ist für Straftaten der KI verantwortlich? - legal article about the criminal liability of autonomous AI in Germany, and how crimes done by AI agents are pushing the legal system to its limit as we only legislate for humans. Published 29 Aug, 2026 This Is Capitalism: Apple's Hidden Data Workers at the Shadows of the AI Boom - 19 page paper detailing what data workers actually do and what problems they deal with, written anonymously by a data worker interviewing their colleagues. Parts of the work descriptions remind me of the work in Severance . Is this really a good reason to triple datacentre capacity in Europe? - online blog post tracing where the idea to triple the EU's data centers comes from that is mentioned in several EU AI strategies. Turns out it's from be a blog post from Savills, a commercial real estate firm who profit off of data centers being built. Fake US thinktank set up and funded by Israel sought to game AI for propaganda - AI slop meant to absolutely flood the web to be included in AI training funded by the Israel government to spread disinformation in AI answers. A new force is increasing inequality in America - WaPo article about how AI is not leveling the playing field or bridging the gap between poor and rich, but instead worsening the gap. People making the most use of AI are concentrated in richer urban areas and are already often rather wealthy, while the AI data centers are in poorer neighborhoods and the data workers are often migrants or in the Global South. Rich people can invest into AI and its stock, therefore profiting off of the hype and concentrating even more wealth. An operational framework for AI literacy in the workplace - 15 page paper from Interface EU addressing the vagueness of "sufficient AI literacy" that is often mentioned in EU AI legislation. It proposes a cumulative three-tier framework based on the nature and consequences of a worker's interaction with AI which then dictates the level of literacy required and how to attain/ensure it and measure it. Great quote from it: "No evidence yet shows that these trainings work, and three gaps might explain the reason. The first is motive. Corporate training aims at productivity and teaches people to use the tools well, whereas the law cares whether operators understand how systems fail and cause harm. A workforce fluent in prompting can still be illiterate in the sense a regulator means: trained to produce good output, but not to recognise when a model misleads or to know its duties under data-protection and risk rules." The Quiet Erosion of Collective Action Under Digital Surveillance - article on chilling effects of permanent surveillance and the feeling of constant suspicion which continues to erode activism. Flipping the kill switch: I survived 72 hours without US tech - online article about an experiment to live without reliance on US tech. The US has such a strong monopoly that almost all online services and tech are unusable with this rule. Gone in one click - assessing the socio-economic impact of browser-level consent in Europe - small informative flyer style PDF by the Implement Group showing figures about cookie consent rates and ad industry revenues depending on the mode of consent. Inside the growing vigilante movement to knock out Flock surveillance cameras - online article by The Guardian. I admire these people, and we need more civil disobedience now, everywhere. Not just against Flock; against Meta glasses wearers, against Ring camera owners (Yes, you too! None of you are the "good ones" with "valid" reasons!) and more. There's many ways to affect these devices that you can find online or just get creative with it. Keep yourself safe, don't write about it, don't record yourself doing it, don't discuss it via digital means, leave your devices at home, and leave no fingerprints. Did someone wearing Meta Glasses film you today? Are you sure? - another Guardian online article, this time about the spy glasses and the people who enable hiding the recording light on them. The man behind GhostMeta is actually so vile and disgusting; anything else I could say would violate the Code of Conduct this blog is hosted on. HeißeLuft.org - German website with interactive map showing where AI data centers are planned, in development, and paused, together with information on protests. Made me discover that they are planning on building one not too far away from me... Deutsche Post trainiert ihre KI mit Ausweisfotos - article about how Deutsche Post is training their AI with ID pictures they get via digital identification procedures. It's not voluntary as they claim, as you need to give permission before being allowed to proceed. Verhaltensscanner in Berlin: Harte Kritik an der KI-Überwachung - online article about the new camera installed in Berlin that will analyze all people in that area via AI surveillance software by Adesso, with more cameras to follow. They want to put them up in high crime rate areas , but keep secret what the standards for this are, which enables a mass roll-out of them if they wanted to without any oversight or control. There has already been one mix-up leading to higher crime reported in an area than actually happened. These cameras already also exist in Hamburg and Mannheim. Möglicher AfD-Sieg in Sachsen-Anhalt - online article detailing the fear of queer people and people of color of an upcoming potential win of the AfD in their state. Afd-Gutachten.de - website containing some stats and a PDF report of a legal assessment on the chances of a successful AfD ban. „Gipfel gegen Linksextremismus“: Mit Trump gegen die Antifa - online article about the cooperation of Germany with the US on its fight against antifascism. Unfortunately it has continued, with the German government realigning to focus more on supposed "leftist extremism" and even re-distributing money away from leftist projects, which mostly hits projects aimed at helping queer people and migrants. Wie weit ist Deutschland beim digitalen Gewaltschutz? - an online article about the really embarrassingly low standards of protection against digital violence, especially image-based ones like deepfake nudes and revenge porn, in Germany. Lots needs to be done in general, but especially to even meet the new EU standards. Wer ist für Straftaten der KI verantwortlich? - legal article about the criminal liability of autonomous AI in Germany, and how crimes done by AI agents are pushing the legal system to its limit as we only legislate for humans.

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ava's blog 1 months ago

book: the ethical slut by dossie easton and janet hardy

During my break, I have also read The Ethical Slut . It's been on my list for a while, and I even had a Kindle version I just never got around to read; then I left Amazon years ago and deleted my account, and it seems like my conversion of the EPUBs via Calibre failed or I copied over the wrong files when I did my backup. All my Kindle books are unreadable. Because polyamory and open relationships have become more relevant for me again lately (after being a bit buried by Covid, my illnesses, feeling saturated, not meeting anyone interesting etc.), I chose to get a physical copy this time. In 2018, I read another book about polyamory, called More Than Two by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, published 2014. In retrospect, it was the wrong book to read at the wrong time for me, and while it definitely has its uses and worth, I regret reading it when I did! I went in with an absolutely deep sense of shame and insecurity, which was unintentionally amplified by the book because it's essentially a manual for when troubles arise in non-monogamous relationships, with all kinds of real life examples and tips. It was as if I was scared about taking medicine, and spent days reading package leaflets with all the possible side effects. Did not reassure me at all. I should reread it again with a better mindset. I'm happy to say The Ethical Slut is a lot more upbeat, positive, silly, fun, reassuring and open, and I'd say, not even a book about non-monogamy in general, even if it's on the cover. This is a useful read even for monogamous relationships, because it focuses a lot on destigmatizing and communicating needs in relationships, regardless of how many partners there are or whether the needs are sexual or not. The focus is on living the kind of relationships you want, no matter what the modalities look like, and to get rid of meaningless past fragments and indoctrination and instead do the things you really want to do, irrespective of imposed gender roles, sexual orientation pressures, and more. Many of us simply never question the cultural messaging we get about gender, sexuality, and romantic relationships. I'll also say that if you are a mature-acting adult in healthy relationships, not much in this book will be news to you. There is lots you either already bring to the table, aspire to be, or have learned by yourself via mistakes made. But it's nice to be reaffirmed and get a little reminder! One thing that challenged my previously held beliefs in a surprising way was the framing of serial monogamy as, ironically, a form of of non-monogamy. I'm not saying this is more correct - many would say that the simultaneous involvement is the main point - but I found it an interesting perspective shift to see multiple partners spread across time, as opposed to the ideal of finding one and committing forever, like this. It underlines that many people are already capable of falling in love with different people throughout life, and renegotiating different rules in each relationship, being different with each partner and finding they fulfill different needs in a variety of ways. So all that stands between many monoamorous and polyamorous people is the time overlap between those relationships. Some criticisms I have: While trans people are often mentioned and very much credited for a lot of their work and pioneering many new relationship models and terms, and the book has been updated to include gendervariant identities that were missed in the first two editions of the book to make it, as the authors say, fit to as many sexualities and genders as possible, the entire book still feels very cis-normative in many parts. Especially when it's about lesbians or gay men, there is an implicit assumption that they are all cis, and rather stereotypical assumptions about how their gender is expressed, and these groups being reduced to tropes like "lesbians love longterm monogamy and consent, and gay men love being sexually confident sluts". I also find that especially in the parts about bisexuality, trans people get a lot of ungendering/third gendering done to them, where they are always their separate categories (instead of trans lesbians being included in lesbian sections) or it's like "I am bi or simply queer because I can't know what the person I'm attracted to is biologically " and I feel like this has never even been a good thing to do or say, and if you are updating the book anyway to be more inclusive, just remove that shit. Additionally, I don't care much for the more woo-woo, spiritual, hippie parts of the book, even if they can be amusing or neutral for me to read; like how we all breathe sexual energy, and that it's all around us, and that by them writing about sex and me reading it, we are having sex with each other... it's not my cup of tea personally. And I respect that the book is older, and some parts of the book now mention the internet and social media or even dating apps, but there's a whole section dedicated to how to write a personal ad to find love, and it feels very outdated. I think I could have easily skipped chapter 1 and 2, and only 3 and 4 were really relevant or getting to it. Still, I found myself wanting; while it was entertaining, it sometimes lacked depth for me (both practice and theory), and it often felt a bit too naive to me. It's written from an utopian, aspirational, free love place, in which people are innately good, and never do anything bad to upset you, they'll all understand and see your point of view, and you're capable of feeling love and appreciation for everyone. I feel incapable of coming from such a place, unfortunately, so some parts felt rather needlessly unrealistic to me. I will not like everybody, not everyone will understand me, and people can absolutely be mean, ruthless, unfair, and doing things purposefully to hurt you. I can't "love everyone" myself out of that reality. A lot of things in this book sound fine until you remember how shitty many other people's relationships are and how insecure they are, and how many, many people select the absolute worst people to be their partner, or have absolutely no healthy standards in place. I think you have to be a lot more guarded, careful and selective than the book describes. In my view, it also puts too much responsibility on you to control your emotions and endure them, versus taking them as a deserved warning signal that something is wrong, as if the latter could almost never happen. Your jealousy or envy isn't always something whack and unreasonable to endure until it goes away, or something that can just be resolved with a reassurance talk or additional 1-on-1 time together. Sometimes, you are genuinely treated in a rude way and shouldn't celebrate having "endured" that. Like, on page 152-153, Dossie describes having casually dated a man, telling him she cannot be monogamous, and then when she took him home and her best friend was there, those two just started making out while Dossie sat there staring, not knowing what to do, and in the end opting to go upstairs and read a book until the two left. This was, she writes, her first encounter of surviving jealousy. But in my view, that wouldn't even have been jealousy - just reacting to the rudeness of the other two! It was completely odd and insensitive behavior of the man and her bestie to just do that, without asking her, without involving her, or without them retreating into another space to do that, or making out a date to meet up separately. It's not about the sexual act even, it could have been playing cards while ignoring her, too. I would never celebrate being completely disregarded and ignored as a victory. If people don't give a fuck about your feelings, they should be booted from your life, not you accommodating them for it too. Never applaud yourself for enduring or even enabling disrespect! And it's not the only time in the book where they fail to come down hard on shitty behavior. They absolutely downplay cheating, despite the rest of the book being so full of the value of consent. I would just regard it as "groundbreaking at its time" (1997, then updated in 2009 and 2017) but not holding up well now, not really useful for people who are already on board with non-monogamy, and increasingly irrelevant as more books and online writing is published that is better suited now. Next up in that niche, I'll probably finally read Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino, and Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan. But not that soon. Published 25 Aug, 2026

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